Things you don't understand the appeal of

I’ll start off with a few that have perplexed me for years:

Smoking. Okay, let’s pretend that there’s no social stigma and no restrictions…oh yeah, and no danger of dying, either. Granted all that, why smoke in the first place (other than already being addicted)? For that matter, taking the health risks into consideration, what does smoking offer that can’t be achieved by safer, cheaper means?

Mountain climbing. Man, where to begin? Spend hundreds or thousands of dollars to garner the necessary equipment and travel to highly remote and often undeveloped, if not uninhabited, parts of the world. Make camp in a home base which almost invariably has meager facilities. (If you have to stop in a local town along the way, lord help you…sanitation is still a foreign concept in may parts of the world.) Set inviolable start and stop times for the various parts of the climb, with a good chance that you won’t reach the top (especially if there are a lot of other climbers on the mountain). All along the way, you have to take care of all your needs, including the, ahem, sanitary ones. If it’s a high mountain, you also have to deal with the threats of frostbite and high altitude enema, both of which can kill in a matter of hours (not to mention falling, which is even faster :)). Plus you breathe so hard due to the thin atmosphere that you need far more water than normal, plus you can hardly eat anything since that requires oxygen, leading to loss of muscle mass (up to three pounds a day). And all this doesn’t even consider the social consequences (mountaineering has wrecked more than a few marriages). Know what the worst part is? There are hardly any records anymore. Everest has long since been conquered, taking the Seven Summits is far from uncommon, and even the 8000-meter challenge has been met by more than a dozen climbers. Sheesh, you couldn’t pay me to do this!

Golf. “A good walk spoiled” is being generous. How can anyone enjoy a game that’s not only outrageously expensive (you can equip an entire softball team for the cost of one set of clubs) and requires an inordinate amount of land, but is absolutely hellbent on punishing and penalizing its players from start to finish? (Whose noodle-noggined idea was it to put bunkers in the freaking fairway??) And don’t even get me started on the official rules, which are the most ludicrous, counterintuitive piece of crap I’ve ever seen this side of the child tax credit laws. Need I even mention that this game is friggin’ hard? Just about anyone, with enough practice, can sink a 3-point basket or bowl two strikes in a row. In golf, making par is pretty much the domain of the elite.

Dog shows. One question…what exactly do these dogs do? They’re called man’s best friend for a reason, you know. Even dressage horses have to go through various motions and obey the rider’s commands; it’s not just standing around and looking pretty.

Day trading. You know, if I’m going to spend the whole day looking over a bunch of numbers on a computer, making phone calls, making dozens of deals on the fly, and generally getting my underwear in a complete wad, it will not be for a pursuit where there’s even the SLIGHTEST chance that I will not make money out of it, let alone a pretty good chance that I’ll actually lose money.

Pencil-and-paper roleplaying games. After setting a good time for all the players and the DM (or its equivalent), getting all the necessary equipment, and getting all the rules memorized and clarified…it boils down to one person who has complete, utter control of the game and can run it in the most petty, sadistic, exasperating manner imaginable. (From the RPG discussions I’ve seen on this board, that certainly seems to be the case.) Really, now, I hate to be rude, but I must ask, what kind of idiot would willingly put up with this?

Tekken. This series makes Mortal Kombat look like Hip Hop Mania. Yes, it really is that bad. :stuck_out_tongue:

:eek:
I don’t understand the appeal of daytime soap operas. Bad acting, incredibly stupid plots, horrible characters; I’d rather watch grass grow.

I like dog shows. I know they don’t do anything except run around, but its so cool seeing all the different breeds. I don’t know, maybe you have to be a dog freak to enjoy it. :slight_smile:

Blargh!! Sheesh, I knew if I posted enough I’d eventually make one of these incredible screwups… :mad:

For the record, it’s high altitude edema. More specifically, High Altitude Pulmonary Edema, which affects the lungs, and High Altitude Cerebral Edema, which hits the brain. Both are caused by climbing too fast. Of course, you don’t know how fast “too fast” is until you actually get HAPE or HACE, and did I mention that these can kill you in a manner of hours?

Oh, and I heartily recommend Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer’s account of a disastrous 1996 Everest expedition he was on. His stay in Lobuje struck me as infinitely more disgusting than any enema that would be available at 26,000 feet.

(Okay, I believe that’ll do for a recovery…in fact, let me add one that I missed.)

Breast implants. What would possess a woman to put an untested, inorganic, completely unnatural substance in her breasts which, by some accounts, doesn’t even feel right? And this even before the health hazards became known. Even with the safer saline implants, this is still an expensive procedure that very few women do primarily for their own self-image…plus she’ll be bombarded by “Oh my god, are those REAL???” cracks for the rest of her life. Really, who wants this?

Piercing. Anything beyond the ears just perplexes me. Why anyone would willingly subject themselves to this kind of torture puzzles me (OK, I know why some people do it). Even multiple piercings in each ear doesn’t make sense to me. Anything on the face is a definite turn-off. I’ve never had any first-hand experience with anything in various other body parts, but I’m not anxious to find out. I could really care less. Whenever I see anyone with a pierced tongue, the first thing I think of is Chris Rock’s observation in No Sex in the Champagne Room. My cousin had her navel pierced and developed an infection. She went to the emergency room and asked that it be removed. She was offered a treatment regimen that would allow her to keep it. Her response? “You’re not fking listening to me. Take the fking thing out, right f**king now!” Kind of sums up my attitude.

Sports

All the sports that I have ever come across. I don’t get them. I don’t enjoy watching them or playing them - or hearing about them. Since childhood, I have been puzzled by the fact that everyone else in the world seems to like sports, but I hate them. I just don’t see why anyone would bother competing to see who can do whatever the best. If they were testing the most knowledge or the fastest intelligence, or something worthwhile, I might get it, but who can swim fastest? Bo-ring!

Here in Australia, our sporting personalities are treated like Gods. People look up to them, respect them, and want to name things after them. I think scientists, doctors, authors, humanitarians are the real heros, and I can’t abide seeing them overlooked in favour of some guy who was really good at cricket (sorry, Sir Donald, you seemed like a nice guy, but you were not made a “Sir” for being really nice.).

I was going to say soap operas too when I first saw this thread.

And I agree about the paper and pencil RPGs. I know the people who play them have a blast, but I’ve never been able to get into it. I’ll admit maybe it’s because I suck at them.

Wearing a lot of make-up on a daily basis. And I mean a lot, like full, heavy foundation and powder even aside from the usual eyes/lips/cheeks stuff. It seems like way too much effort to expend in the early morning to me. I could see doing it for special things, but every day I just don’t get. I know a woman who does this and on the rare days when she skips it, people think she’s ill because they haven’t seen the real color of her skin in months.

Things I don’t get:
Daily appearance work. Not cleanliness, but actual effort toward changing what you look like on a daily basis. (This includes high heels) I’ll do it for a theatrical performance (parties included) but not on a day to day basis.

Really loud music Not an occasional “I need this turned up” for a good song, but if everything you listen to you cannot talk over, I don’t get it. I love music. I live for music. I will sometimes have to rattle windows with a good piece or two. But a constant assalt on my ears is not a good thing.

Pain comedy People in pain don’t really ammuse me.

Dangerous Drug use Smoking, heroin, its all in here. Why? I mean, its your brain cells, lungs, sanity, money, whatnot, but I just don’t understand.

Things I do get
RPGs Its fantasy/adventure novel writing for lazy people. And a truly sadistic DM will lose players. If the players are not having fun they will leave. This means a DM needs to set things up that are challenging, but not unfair. Its a tough balance and everyone fails sometimes. All in all, with a good group its very entertaining.

and in limited use Brest implants Not planning on it, but self image is important. I read an article (there’s a cite for you.) written by a woman who did the deed. Her reasoning and expeiance. She had two different sized breasts and wanted some sence of happy, perky normality. ended up a C cup and was delighted by the whole deal. I guess I can understand “improving” your body for fun more than destroying it.

I have to agree with sports, I find nothing more uninteresting than watching (in the US) spoiled millionaires playing football, baseball etc. I get bored and would much rather go outside and do something myself like ride my bike or whatever.

Cars–I do not understand the love some people have for cars. For me they all pretty much look alike. Nowadays they come equipped with lots of extras I do not want, but have to pay for. I also do not understand the need for cars that can go from zero to 200 in a second when the highest speed limits are 75. I know several people who get cars they really can not afford, and if it was possible would go to bed with them if they could.

Beets

Visible Panty Lines

Rock Climbing

Sliding down bannisters on roller blades

Skateboarding

Baggy “gang” clothing

Stupid haircuts

Colored contact lenses

Jennifer Lopez

Rap music

Vegemite

To name a few off the top of my head.

But you’ve got to admit, when you did it, you did it with STYLE. :smiley: The imagery that “you also have to deal with the threats of frostbite and high altitude enema, both of which can kill in a matter of hours” created in my mind was priceless — I can just see a mountain climber/patient shrieking “No, Nurse, please! Not the high altitude enema! Anything by that!”

Other than that, I pretty much agreed head on with most of what you’d said. (I’ve never heard of Tekken.) I’m not a big fan of regular dog shows, but I really enjoy watching the agility and obedience trials.

I realize that this puts me way outside the mainstream, but I just don’t do the whole makeup thing. I feel that the cosmetics industry exists to make women feel insecure and bad about themselves, and then reap tremendous profits from them. I refuse to participate. I hear that this may be costly professionally, but I haven’t found it to be an issue yet. I can see why most women do participate in it — but I think it’s primarily because the brainwashing has worked so well on our society as a whole. Yes, it may make you look better, but I find it sad that I have friends who feel they cannot leave the house and show themselves to the world unless they have spent 15 minutes putting that gunk all over their faces. I much prefer being a “What you see is what you get” type of person.

Zap_Rowsdower, I know where you’re coming from on cars. I am totally unimpressed by them, and don’t understand guys who think that a fancy car will bring on the chicks. (I’m even more confused by a few women who genuinely seem to be impressed by cars.) When I see someone in a Porsche or Jaguar, it just screams conspicuous consumption at me. You can buy a perfectly nice car for $15,000 - $20,000 or so which will transport you comfortably at legal speeds. I just don’t see how on earth the incremental cost difference between a Toyota and a Porsche could be justified unless the owner just wants to use it to say “I’m richer than you are.”

I also don’t get spectator sports, particulary the demi-God status that we confer upon professional athletes. The only spectator sports I enjoy is watching my two sons play soccer. It’s much more entertaining than pro sports. There’s actually suspense — Will the kid see the ball coming straight at him, or is he too busy checking out the roly-poly in the dirt? Will he head toward the right goal? Not “That guy makes $800,000 just for putting on his uniform. He sure as hell BETTER catch that pass!”

Conforming with the rest of the non-conformist crowd.

Comedy.

Smoking: If you want to kill yourself, get a gun and blow your brains out, it’s quicker.

Skateboarding down Hand-Rails, Bannisters, and whatnot: See my comments on Smoking.

Pro Wrestling. Fake, fake, fake! Do people actually believe these things aren’t scripted?

Jerry Springer. A couple of friends were in the audience on Friday night’s show. I don’t know why. Anyway, I watched the show because they were in the audience. For a glimpse of them I had to sit and watch a bunch of Lower-Epsilon Semi-Morons (or whatever Huxley called them) yelling at each other for infidelities. Aside from the sheer stupidity of the “contestants”, I was appalled by the utter meanness of many members of the audience. This show has also got to be scripted.

Knick-knacks. Little porcelain or glass figurines that clutter up shelf space. I don’t get it. Or Beanie Babies. Yeah, I have “stuff”, but it’s good stuff!

A horse show is a bunch of horses showing their asses to a bunch of horse’s asses showing their horses. I guess the same thing can be said about dogs’ asses.

[quote]
Pencil-and-paper roleplaying games…
I haven’t played D&D in a long, long time, but I see the appeal. The Dungeon Master is gratified by people spending time in the world s/he spent hours and days creating. The players are gratified by matching wits with the DM. And I think that fantasy is healthy.

Breast implants. And large breasts in general. Why? Small breasts are much more attractive IMO, and seem to cause (I wouldn’t know, being a guy) less discomfort.

Meanness. Come on. Being mean is a waste of energy. What’s with mean people?

Uhhhhhhhmmmmmmm…

Anything but that.
…slinking away…

The “wazzzaaaap?” ads. Heard about it, saw one on the internet. Why was this popular?

Julia Roberts.

Brand goods that have the designer’s name printed all over them. Louis Vuitton, DKNY, Fendi, etc. Some high-end fashion items actually look good, but LV et al. are just butt-ugly. Besides, if you’re going to use my body as a billboard, I expect you to pay me, not the other way around.

Religion, but that’s a subject for a muuuch longer GQ/GD/Pit thread.

As for wrestling, I’ve gotten to like it recently. And as for Johnny L.A.'s comment

Perhaps some do, but most know it’s an act. I like wrestling for the same reason I like Jackie Chan and Jet Li movies. I know that Jackie and Jet aren’t really beating the snot out of their co-stars. I’m impressed with the level of physical skill they’ve attained (IMO, convincingly and entertainingly pretending to beat the snot out someone is a lot harder than actually beating the snot out of them), and I enjoy watching the performances they put on. Sure, the between-fight antics are a little cheesy, but are you going to tell me you watched Police Story for the dialogue?

–sublight.

Dancing – My wife likes to go, so I’ll do it for her, but I get zero enjoyment out of it. Not because I don’t think I’m good at it, or embarrassed or anything like that. I just don’t see what people get out of moving around just because there’s music playing.

Lawns – Some of my friends are fanatics about this. They’ll talk at lunch about their mowers, what they do about weeds, are you going to water or do you think it will rain. I’m like, it’s grass, and not even the good kind.

Smoking: You smell terrible, your clothing, car and home stink, it is really bad for your health.

Drugs: These are a really bad idea, how many strung out, homeless drug addicts who have wasted a talented and gifted life do you have to see to learn these dudes are bad news.

Soap Operas: There are enough trying times in everyones life, why watch them as entertainment?

Pro Wrestling: An insult to ones intelligence.

Jerry Springer: This is a combination of Soap Operas and Wrestling.

“Reality TV”: A combination of Jerry Springer, Pro Wrestling and Soap Operas.

Authentic English Croquet: A boring lawn game taken to the 1000th power of boring.

A few things come to mind right off hand.

Lobster - not spectacular, yet expensive?

Fashion Shows - Paper thin woman in ugly clothes?

Smoking - where to start…

Drinking - drink something that tastes terrible, wake up with a headache?

Strip Clubs - blue balls…nuff said.

I’m sure there’s more, can’t think of them now though.

** Reality TV ** - Let’s watch a bunch of greedy people do stupid stuff for money, whoo yeah, that’s entertainment.

** Mini Vans**- Most, though not all, people who drive them drive badly. I think they realize this, and think they will be safe, but screw the people in cars they run into. Mini vans are ugly and gas guzzling, so if those things don’t bother them, and they want safe they should stick to tanks.

** Cell Phones **- Not the phones themselves, but the williness to be at others beck and call constantly puzzles me, particularly people who don’t use them for work.

** Hugh Grant **- A goof and a sleeze, he’d be no where without his accent.

** NPR **- I know, it’s supposed to be “intellectual” to listen to NPR, but I hate it. I’d rather be plebeian and listen to music, than be intellectual and bored and/or pissed off(I never heard such unadulterated liberal crap being spewed in my life but on NPR during the election mess) by their programming. With luck, I will never again work in an office that insists on listening to it.

** Retro “fashions” **- I just don’t get it at all. They were ugly the first time around.

** Salad with fattening dressings **- Why take something that you’re supposed to be eating for “your health” and drown it in liquid fat? It’s not better for you than the turkey sandwich you’re denying yourself for lunch.
**

** The Dave Matthews Band **- Sure, he has a message. A message a hundred other less whiny bands have sent before.

Ditto Smoking

Drinking-what the HELL? It makes me sleepy. I like the taste of some drinks, but other than that, if I want to party, I would think caffeine would be better.

Again, Golf-boring as all hell, unless you’re watching someone who throws hissyfits. That’s the only time it’s interesting.

Bowling? What the fuck? Why not make it more challenging-set up the pins so that they’re in a row in which you have to roll the ball THROUGH WITHOUT hitting/knocking down any?

Rap music-especially as it seems that’s all anyone blasts on their car stereos-another thing I don’t get. Someday, I swear, if I ever get my license, I will only blast classical, folk and swing right back at these people.

Fancy cars. As long as it’s comfortable, safe, reliable, who cares? Although, I did enjoy riding in a friend’s BMW. REALLY comfy, with a sun roof-which is nice.
Another-convertibles. What the HELL? They hurt my ears, give you windburn, and my hair is usually so tangled I need to untangle it with a chainsaw.

Thongs-I spend most of my time trying to keep that part OUT of there. Why would I want to encourage it?