I forgot to mention something that actually happened to me: flying tree branches smashing through the bedroom window during an early morning windstorm. Had I not had my heavy wooden blinds pulled, I’d have likely been injured and not just rudely awakened.
“I’m not in the mood this morning, Honey.”
That’s no way for a person to have to start the day.
AND?!? Don’t leave us hanging!
Oh hell, that’s how Mr. Early Morning Wood gets to start every day…
God, I hate that ring. I may take up punching people in the face when I hear it, too.
Since I live alone, and sans animals, the only bad thing I fear hearing in the morning is bad news on morning radio. Something along the lines of “currently it’s zero degrees with a windchill of -14” is perhaps not ideal. (That was a day back in December. I had been battling a budding cold at the time and just called in sick. Not going to go outside and wait for the bus in that.)
“Moooo-ooom, I feel like I’m gonna throw u…blarrrggggh!”
Actually, that’s pretty unpleasant to hear at any time of day.
“Honey, the house is filling with smoke and I don’t know where it’s coming from.”
The water heater caught fire, and it took 5 seconds to put out- and an hour to clear all the smoke from the burnt insulation.
Bam! Bam! Bam!
"*Minneapolis Police! *
At least it wasn’t for me.
Oh…thank you (I’m wiping tears out of my eyes. I’m not laughing AT you, I’m laughing at your perfect rendering of this not so lovely event).
A rooster crowing approximately 3 inches from your head. Those little buggers are loud.
A donkey braying 3 feet from your head at 4 AM. They’re loud, too.
I can’t be the only person wondering why you sleep in a barnyard… :dubious:
Am I?
Umm, no. I was just about to ask where the hell she lives.
E.
A strange man in your room.
(My next-door-neighbor has a CB radio out in his shed. He at one point had a way-too-strong antenna or something, and for some reason my computer speakers were picking up his outgoing signal. If you know for a fact that you’re the only person in your house, and then all the sudden there’s a guys voice not three feet from your head, it wakes you up damn fast.)
I’ve heard this one as something that happened to a co-worker, many job lives ago, so it’s literally a Friend of a Friend, and therefore suspect. But I hope to Og it’s true.
This guy’s friend had been reading in bed, and was awakened by the neighbor’s dog that had somehow gotten into his bedroom. The dog was a Saint Bernard.
The book the guy had been reading was Cujo.
…
This was similar to mine.
“I’m Detective O’Malley from Sex Crimes. Is Mr. Brackett here? He’s your son? May we come in and speak with him?”
They were interviewing me for witnessing a serial flasher while at work.
Unfortunately, I’d not mentioned the incident to my mother. So there was a whole lot of 'splainin to do for her.
Eli
I don’t, anymore. But when I was a kid we didn’t have any air conditioning so in the summertime I would often sleep out in the back yard on a folding cot. The chickens had the run of the place; the pasture fence was just a few feet away, and I guess it upset the donkey to see me lying there motionless. Or maybe she thought it’d be fun to see me leap 3 feet into the air from a horizontal position.
I had goats, too, but they were considerate and let me sleep.