Wet tile floor.
I have combined that with jacks. Even the Russian judges gave me a 10.
A giant cockroach. My wife did this in the Maldives… in the dark. She came back to bed and said she’d stepped on something. We found the squished cockroach in the morning.
Did that in the Florida Keys. I was assured, though, that they have no cockroaches down there. They’re palmeto bugs. :dubious:
If it looks like a roach, walks like a roach, and squashes underfoot like a roach, it’s a roach.
A land mine.
(also true with shod feet and/or at more reasonable times of day)
I can’t believe the obvious which hasn’t been mentioned:
YOUR DOG! (who has been loyally sleeping at the side of the bed)
Discarded condom. Not your own.
Live mouse.
After which it was a dead mouse. I did rather thoroughly step on it.
Doggy diarrhea.
I actually did that this very morning. <gag>
Yeah, that one. Mine was still flopping about with a half-crushed head and making noises, so I had to finish the job with a shovel (fortunately, in the garage).
… then sat awake until ~3 am, having been thoroughly creeped the hell out.
Our next door neighbor had friends over for a backyard barbecue. She obviously didn’t clean up afterwards, because Our Big Orange Cat captured, killed, and brought home half of a baked potato, left it on the bathroom floor sometime before 2am.
He repeated the conquest the following night, with a crab leg.
Mrs. Cretin found both prizes the hard way, and reported that stepping with warm bare feet on a cold, soft, baked-potato half in a dark bathroom at 2am was alarming.
The following night’s crustacean limb was a hilarious cherry on top.
No story really; they just seem like a generally pissed off animal - and probably be really pissed off if you stepped on them, especially at 2am; even I would be a little grumpy about that and I’m generally a pleasant person.
Broken glass while trying to evade terrorists with machine guns.
pet barf.
floor full of roaches.
Oh, God. Those things are horrible. My mom had a Sweetgum in the front yard. You couldn’t walk on those things with shoes one, much less barefoot.
I agree with everything posted so far and would add earrings that the cat has swept onto the floor to play with and sewing pins.
poop
A rug that slides.
Something that squeeks and scrabbles away
Nothing like having a slug squished up in between all your toes.
2 a. m., 2 p. m., it’s all the same! … Lost screws, brads, plug prongs, glass or plastic shards, ice shards (on the kitchen linoleum), anything greasy, a small rubber ball, or a hairbrush bristles-up (it was under a newspaper on the floor; scared the daylights out of me–I thought it was a giant caterpillar!)
Quoting this completely because it’s so good! I love it. I can just exactly imagine how the potato felt. Gaah. Big Orange Cat is a mighty hunter indeed.