Things you hope'll exist when you're older.

Proper male hair-restoration treatments.

Googling the future…

The planet. Monkeys. Sex. Regular shits. Quality Beer. My hypothetical wife and children. My health. My penis (see sex).

A safe and inexpensive fix for presbyopia.

Social Security.
A functioning US Economy.
Civil Liberties.

My liver.


A widespread and enduring fashion trend for shin guards. I am a clumsy, clumsy man.

Wear cowboy boots.

Trust in the government. Democracy in select parts of Africa. An end to the Microsoft monopoly.

A cure for obesity.


Several orbital towers, maybe an orbital ring. A base on the moon. A probe that’s heading for a possibly habitable planet in another solar system. Great-nephews and great-nieces.

Social Security.
Universal health care in the U.S.
A cure for AIDS.
A cure for diabetes.
A safe and effective weight loss pill.
A cure for Alzheimer’s.
The ability to grow an additional set of teeth.

Flying cars.

What, somebody had to say it.

a Cure For Canker Sores

I was going to say metabolic readjustment therapy. Close enough.

Transporters. Safe, reliable hydrogen fuels. Safe, reliable foodsources. Many of the world’s endangered species.

Also Reese’s Pieces Miniature Peanut Butter cups. I really hope they don’t get rid of those.

Yes, damn it, YES!

Preserved steam locomotives on the main line.

Already, regulations and insurance are killing my hobby. I’d like my grandkids to hear a 4-6-2 Pacific working up a grade on a crisp winter morning with the sound echoing off the hillsides and up the valley.

Fingers crossed.