I was in the elevator when one of the Docs squeezed in suddenly. He’s a really big guy- friendly and fun, but he was looking somewhat crumpled and undone- he only had one sleeve of his lab coat on, his shirt was untucked, and he was trying to tie one of his shoes, both of which were untied.
He said he was rushing upstairs to a delivery (of a baby). We chatted until the door opened and he ran off.
The next day, I was at the nurses station when he came by all cool and collected looking, getting ready to head down on the elevator. I said “Hey, it’s nice to see you with all your clothes on today!”
It got very quiet very quickly. You could have heard a pin drop at the station.
I said “I think I’ll just leave it like that if it’s OK with you!” and he laughed and went on his way.
My friend married a gal who had a habit of letting others know that she’d be along presently by saying “just a sec” or “be there in a sec”.
May I add that said wife is a cute busty blonde.
One day, I was walking up to his door when, from inside, I heard him yelling “WILL YOU STOP WITH THE SEX! I’M TIRED OF ALL THE SEX FROM YOU!”
<blink blink>
BWAAAA-AAAHHH HHAAAAAHHHH HAAAA-AAAAAAAUGH
I offered to take over for him, but he kept insisting that, of course, the outburst was in response to her use of the word sec… and the word in the outburst was SECS, and not SEX.
All very funny stuff! I have a tendency to get loud during sex, and I have had neighbors banging on the walls telling me and hubby to ‘shut the hell up in there’. But funnier still is this little story. My in-laws had a very large, very dumb-looking orange cat who had an official name like ‘George’ or something innocuous, but my teenaged brother-in-law insisted on calling the cat ‘Dildo’ until it stuck. It was wonderful to hear my mother-in-law calling the cat for dinner, standing out on the back patio and yelling 'Diiiiiiiiilllll-doooooo! Diiiiiiiiillll-doooooo!" I always imagined the neighbors thinking ‘she couldn’t be saying what I think she’s saying.’
I knew a guy who labelled all his boxes “Condoms” when he moved. There are some people in the world who cannot be embarrassed. (Just think about that for a bit - the neighbour’s are all watching the new people move in, and every box is labelled “Condoms.” )
Anastasaeon, your neighbour is pretty quick on the draw.
I should probably do the sly grin and a wink here, but I can’t lie - nothing happened! You see, there’s been this ant problem in the building lately, and I kept thinking about how they would be marching along soon, thinking I was just an elaborate platter serving up their next meal. Plus, it was on my fingers, too, and I kept touching the carpet, and getting all fuzzy. So, I took another shower, and hubby ate waffles. Then he cleaned the carpet. Penis eventually ensued, sure, but I guess that was a slow day.
Anyway, though I’d clear that up, lest I get a reputation around here.
For us it was more of what we didn’t want the neighbors to see.
For most of the year our house is very private, many large trees surround the house and it can’t be seen by any neighbors. During the winter when the leaves are gone, there is a house up the hill from us that has a very good veiw of our driveway and garage if someone is on their deck.
We had been having trouble with our car battery. Everyday the car wouldn’t start, we would have to charge the battery. We got a new battery but the car still wouldn’t hold the charge. My husband mentioned this problem to a friend, and he suggested that perhaps there was some kind of drain on the battery, some light or something that stayed on all the time.
So my husband asks me to help him with something in the garage. The garage door is open, and he has openned the car trunk. He wants me to shut the trunk after he crawls in it to see if the light is somehow staying on even though the trunk is shut.
I think this is crazy. He is 6’5’’, and we have a sports car. There is no way he will fit in the trunk. Somehow he manages to fold himself up, and then tells me to shut it. I do, and when I open it back up, he says the light went off, so that wasn’t the problem.
It is then that we look up to see someone on the deck of the house above us, staring at us. We just starting laughing at what they must be thinking. My husband wanted to roll up a couple of pillows in our 6x6 foot throw rug, like you see in the movies when someone has to remove a body from a house, and then put it in the trunk.
I would really love the know what the neighbors thought we were doing. We did worry a bit that by some strange coincidence someone who could be connected to us would turn up missing, but no police have come asking questions yet.
See, that’s why real life is never like the movies. If this were the movies, it would have been carpet-be-damned and the ants would have added a bit of excitement to the encounter.
My parents used to get into some of the loudest arguments I’ve ever heard. One time my mother yelled something outrageous and my father replied “Shut up! The neighbors will hear you.”
My mother threw open the front door and yelled at the top of her voice
Hey everyone! I’m fighting with my husband! Come and listen!
If your neighbor is Robert Fripp, you might be in luck. Late one night he couldn’t sleep because in the next apartment a couple was having a loud quarrel with their daughter who had just gotten herself knocked up. Since his sleep was ruined, he got up and turned on the tape recorder. Then he played with using phrases from the tape as musical elements in a rock piece called “NY3” where the vocals were all taken from the neighbors’ quarrel.
Tangentially related: one day Mr. Armadillo and I were, erm… “expressing our love” quite… enthusiastically. With an adult-type dvd playing. With the window open (hey, the shades were down, so you couldn’t see in, and it was sunny and breezy and our neighbors aren’t particularly close). We heard and ignored a knock on the door. Later we discovered that some fundie church folks were going door to door and had left some literature on our doorstep.
I should have been embarrassed but in all honesty I couldn’t help being very, very amused.
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