In the same vein as a cigarette case, I’d like a cigarette holder, like the ones Audrey Hepburn used in Breakfast at Tiffanys. I guess I could stick a candy ciggie in the end and just PRETEND to smoke it.
Oh, and I’d also like one of those huge ostrich feather stripper fans, like fan dancers use.
I am a tool Junkie
and worse yet I work at a place that sells tools
In my defense, I DO use a lot of them, but hell!
I bought a sink wrench the other day… 20% employee discount plus sale price means I paid under $10 for it.
Will probably NEVER use it…
I have it in my tool room… (Yes, I have a tool room… tell me Doc, tell me straight! is my problem treatable?)
its stored beside my drain tongs…
One thing that IS cool about this is that all my friends know that if they need a metric hub socket, on a Sunday afternoon… they can call me…
“Guy” points for that…
regards
FML
I occasionally buy myself things that I wanted when I was a child, but my parents wouldn’t let me have. For instance, Sea Monkeys. I desperately wanted Sea Monkeys. And so I bought some a couple of years back, and enjoyed them, until the cat knocked over their little tank.
A yacht. My work gives me the money to buy a yacht, but my work takes all my time such that I would never have time to use it.
I like shiny kitchen appliances and gadgets for which I have absolutely no use. My idea of “cooking” is making grilled cheese sandwiches.
But Kitchenaid makes a whole line of fat, shiny, aesthetically pleasing kitchen gadgets that I just WANT. I already have a can opener. I use it about a dozen times a year, if that. But I want the FAT SHINY RED ONE.
The big groovy Kitchenaid stand mixer? If I ever get married I’m going to register for it, even though I may use it two or three times before I die. I want it in pink, red, or lime-green.
I have a similar response to glassware. I don’t ever make “highballs” at my house. But I adore highball glasses. I adore the idea that I am the type of person who would throw an intimate cocktail party and mix drinks into highball glasses, adding ice to each one from a stainless steel ice bucket, with my stainless steel ice-tongs.
I am simply not this person.
But I would like to have the necessary implements. And I stare at them longingly whenever I run across them.
I want a little doggie.
Boy, that would piss the cats off.
I’ve always wondered what a compound of Orichalcum, Adamantium, Mithril, and Carmot would churn out…
Ahem I’d like a computer like the Earth Simulator in Japan (is that still the fastest or has someone made one better yet?) I wouldn’t really use it for anything, but it’d be awesome to have a super powerful simulation computer just to brag, “pfft! You think your tricked out gaming rig is awesome? Step into this large complex of warehouses for a moment if you will…”
Blasphemer! Pocket watches are amazing!
Signed,
One of the three people who actually use pocket watches.
I want a Toyota Tundra… but I´d only use it until the gas tank was empty the first time 
I always thought those life-sized statues of superheroes and monsters at The Sharper Image stores were pretty cool. The one here in Boston had a Batman, but a really cool one in San Francisco had the Pumpkinhead monster.
Here’s a bunch more. (Not Sharper Image though, they’re temporarily closed it seems.)
I don’t like wearing jewelry, but I’m drawn to look at it in a catalog or store. It’s just so pretty.
My daughter has a top hat. She asked for it a couple of birthdays ago because she just wanted it, though she knew she’d never have a place to wear it.
A lorgnette.
A waffle maker.
Every once in a while I get the craving for some good homemade waffles but I know in my heart even if I had one I would never use it since I would be just to lazy to make them.
Oh, one of these frightfully impractical crystal clutches, shaped like a fanciful animal.
One of those Google-Ad things that makes your foreskin come back.
A reproduction of Thor’s hammer with a solid iridium head. (=3x the weight of a steel head the same size)
Personally I’ve always wondered why these super-rich people like Paul Allen etc. don’t have houses with big entrance hallways containing a genuine 88mm Anti-Tank gun pointing at the front door. How awesome would that be?
I would also like to add Lindsay Lohan to my list.
Titan II ICBM with a W-53 9-megaton yield warhead. (Okay, I might use it, but only once.)
Any particular reason for preferring it to the SS18 Mod 2 with the 25MT warhead? Would go very well with a ‘soviet kitsch’ decor theme based around old posters, vodka and humorously klunky consumer electronics…
Would you never “use” her?