Things your lover should say, the first time they see your naughy bits

In My Humble Opinion
21

I’m not sure if I’ve embarrassed myself yet on the 'Dope, but I think I’m going to now.

I’ll tell you what I did say - “Oh…is it…deformed?” :o

I said this because I had never ever in my life ever before - and I’d seen a few, mind you, although not so many as to have seen too many, in that I’m not a slut or anything but anyway - seen a penis that was not circumcised. And I didn’t realise he was. You know, circumcised. Um. Yeah. Plus, the foreskin had gotten pulled down and over the top and so it appeared the…uh…opening…was on the bottom midddle instead of on top and I kinda freaked a bit and…um…yeah.

After he stopped laughing, things proceeded as normal. I’m blushing even now.

So, you know, don’t say that, it’s bad.

22

From my first boyfriend, the first time we slept together:

“They should have sent a poet.”

23

Tis no man. Tis a remorseless eating machine!

24

Its still hungry

25

What should my lover say upon seeing my junk?

Gee, that’s a hard one.

26

Everybody’s a comedian-thank you for being refreshing change of pace.

:smiley:

27

…and no pine-tar.

28

That’s what SHE said!

29

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get

Is it safe?

Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night. (All about Eve)

My precious

To a man:

It’s alive! It’s alive!

As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again

Go ahead, make my day (Sudden Impact)

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship (Casablanca)

To a woman:

Rosebud

Open the pod bay doors, HAL

Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth (the pride of the Yankees)

Yeah, ok, I’m done

30

Nothing. I expect him to be using his mouth to catch the ping pong balls.

31

You’re kind of cute. What’s your name? Hold on, let me turn on the light. Okay, I was right, you are kind of cute. Wow.

I am kinda hungry, gonna make a coupla bean burritos. Want one?

32

This will be WAY better than the bisque!

33

Yum, yum, good eats.

34

no echo?

35

“It looks like two longshoremen fighting over a squirrel”

36

True story: on my honeymoon, my wife went temporarily blind. I had to take her to the eye doctor. Too bad it was from a defect in her cornea or something, but it certainly makes for a good story.

Me: Tada!
Her: Aieee! My EYES! MY EYES! I CAN’T SEE!!

37

Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?

38

“This is Police Girl C-36, calling for backup…”

39

I was in bed with my wife when the Kent earthquake of 2007 happened - unfortunately we were in the next county over and never felt anything. It would have been so cool to be able to ask “Did the earth move for you too?”

40

It looks just like grandpa with his teeth out!