This board ain't big enough for the both of us...

So I’m reading posts as usual, and what do I see? A new person! Well, that’s nice and all… We’re still around 997,000 short of a Teeming Million, so the more the merrier, right?


The name this newbie has chosen: The Devil!!!

:: Facing The Devil and scowling ::

Okay, Devil-dog, get this straight: I’M the evil entity on this board, you hear? I’ve been here longer, my .sig file is nicer, and it’s gonna take more than a name like The Devil to get an iota of respect out of the rest of the Dopers here. THEY know the score!! Why, some of them actually want to have SEX with me!

Yes, this amazes me too, but this shows you the kind of powerr you are dealing with here, bucko!

:: Turning to the rest of the board and smiling evangelistically ::

Friends, you know that I am THE real anti-Christ on this board. You have graciously allowed my evil ways into your hearts and minds. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried. It was the best of times, it was the yadda, yadda, yadda…

Heed my warning, Dirt Devil - The SDMB is MY domain (well, actually, it’s the Chicago Reader’s, but you know what I mean…) and if you think you can just march in here and think you’re gonna be the little red guy on every Dopers left shoulder, in the words of Judas Priest, you’ve got another thing coming!

I expect you to bow to me soon and bask in my anti-Glory very soon, chum. Only THEN, might I allow you to lick my cloven hoofs!!!

(And despite the fact that my .sig file kinda whimps out the previous proceedings, ah what the HELL…)

Yer pal,

Evil embodied? By just your NAME? Have you checked out the definition of MINE? Blow me, both of you! Evil is in the heart, not the name!

You’re right. One is enough! :wink:

“There can be only one.” – St Thomas Aquinas, on the existence of the anti-Christ

What say a duel? Pitchforks and sulphur at 10 paces?

I always thought the little red guy on my shoulder was just a tiny, hacked off Santa Claus. Wow, that really changes things.

Why yes, I am pretty fly for a white guy.

Now all we need is a Belzebub (sp) and you guys can have a threesome. :wink:

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers (1879-1935)

Mull - you see him too? Thank goodness - I thought I was the only one…

Yeah Missy, sounds like we are in the same boat. I thought it was Santa saying “ho ho ho”, but if it is truly Satan maybe he was just telling me to find a prostitute. somewhere.
This explains all of those pitchforks I got for Christmas as a kid.

We’ve all got a little malignity in our souls. To acquire this much immorality we probably need several dark lords. I believe all the screen names below are still available.

Beelzebub, Asmodeus, Mammon, Moloch, Diabolus, Azazel, Ahriman, Eblis, Belial, Baal, Samael, Abaddon, Apollyon, Lucifer, Mephistopheles

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - Humphrey Bogart

Hotfire is also available, I think.


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

We also have room for a False Prophet . . .

We also have room for a False Prophet . . .

Don’t forget Old Scratch.

– Uke, a New Englander at heart

>“There can be only one.” – St Thomas >Aquinas, on the existence of the anti-Christ

or Connor MacLeod…

“There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.” (Ken Olsen, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977)

And, of course, if the Horned One, or Old Hobb, were from, say Alabama, he would be called “Beelzebubba.”

Hey Satan, you gotta’ problem with me, too?

No, Dirty Devil. You are not attempting to pass yourself off as The Devil. There’s a huge distinction in my good book…

Hey, Red Devil Potted Meat! Yeah, you! You have yet to respond to my demand for immediate groveling! C’mon, faux-fiend, show me what you got!

OKAY sports fans! REFRESHMENTS here!

Get 'em afore the battle royale starts!
Getcher deviled eggs! Deviled-ham sandwiches! I gotcher devil’s food cake! Deviled crab! Red hots!


Show us some of this guy’s posts. He currently has three, but the search tool doesn’t show any of them (I hate that thing!)

this is from the “Tipping” thread:

Followed by a lovely sarcasm-dripping tidbit from pldennison.