********* DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL *********
Dear Psycho, *(note: not Dear Dr Bunny, or even Ms. Bunny)*This email includes a resolution for the following case:
CASE NUMBER = xxxxxx63
SUBJECT = Assistance in reviewing possibility of changing fax number.
DESCRIPTION = The client currently has case xxxxx83 open to winops for trying to understand why the fax number [non-working #] is not working. I tried calling the number and the response states that the number is not in service ***(really?-I believe that we why we called you A WEEK AGO!). ***This is preventing the practice from faxing any information in *(**I see you may have grasped the workings of the fax machine). ***From reviewing the last email with an internal discussion with [incompetent hamster #1], the case manager for case xxxxx83, the expectation date has been set farther than originally thought ***(funny-my expectation date was that this would be fixed immediately). ***I was looking to know the possibility of changing the fax number alltogether as the client would really like to use the functionality of [CrappyCompany] as they are really getting frustrated that this is not working and they might have to wait an extended amount of time ***(what? Do I SOUND frustrated!!!). ***I understand there might be some issues in changing the fax number (what issues-how hard is it to generate a new telephone number?) but was looking to see if these could be addressed as needed. I created this case in attempt to resolve the client’s concerns and see which could assist the client faster as it appears that the winops case may take some time that the client does not have (or maybe you could have just addressed the original case instead of creating a new one?) . What would be the issues in changing the [CrappyCompany] incoming fax number from [non-working #] to something else for department ID 2?
I just wanted to let you know that the first case you have with [incompetent hamster#1], xxxxx83, is going to be escalated as it appears the changing of the fax number today did not resolve the issue as we had tried to find out ***(wait-what? When did you change the number? Do you think maybe you could have let me know? Perhaps the reason that this did not solve the problem was that I was never given the number?). ***[Incompetent hamster #1] will be in touch with you through that case. Please continue to use that case number when you call in.
Please do not use your “reply” function for this message. If you have any additional questions, please call the CSC at [probably non-working telephone #] and reference your case number. If we do not hear from you within three business days, we will assume it is okay to close your case.
Thank you and have a great day.
[Incompetent hamster #2]
I have tried to translate this into English and the best I get is the following:
We have ignored you for a week and your contact person is getting sick of your continuing to call asking us to fix our error. She kicked it upstairs where we confirmed that yes, you do have a problem. We may or may not have tried to fix it without success, so we are now kicking it back down to the original person. Please don’t call us but if we don’t hear from you we’ll assume that everything is fixed from our standpoint even though we are well aware that nothing is fixed which is why the problem was kicked up to us in the first place.
Have a nice day,
Moronic supervisatory-type person*