What the heck is wrong with you people? Do you realize my actual, for real threads don’t get this much response? If any of you had bothered to gasp read the title, you would have seen the I specifically stated that this was not an actual post. Therefore, there should have been NO replies, or comments, or hob-nobbing, or shmoozing, or anything resembling communication. sheesh.
Oh yeah, Myrnalene, welcome.
*Originally posted by blur *
Fine, I’ll amuse myself by learning how to bold, italcize,
[ul]
[li]and[/li][li]make[/li][li] bullets.[/li][/ul]
<claps hands in delight>
Okay bitch, I’ve had it with you. Up against the wall!
Strutting in here, swinging your pigtails all cutsie and innocent - you think we can’t see through your pathetic act? You look ridiculous in those bobby-socks! Mutton dressed as lamb.
We all know about you baby. Your past, and the facts about your employment as an “employee relaxation therapist” on that oil rig during the period 1990 to '93. Oh yes, we’ve all seen those dog-eared photocopies of your medical records. “Desert Storm” was quite a picnic for YOU, wasn’t it, girly?
But even if we didn’t all know about your lurid past, the fact that in a post on THIS THREAD, you try and get away with inflammatory statements like
As you can see, I don’t know how to bold, italicise, or make bullets yet. BUT THAT ONLY PROVES HOW SINCERE I AM!!
Not like these heartless b-girls who want a fresh start with a man, any decent man will do, who’ll be good and gentle to them. After all, singing in nightclubs is all she knows how to do, (help help, the spirit of Susan Hayward has entered my body and is trying to take over) and you can’t blame a girl if she sticks to her man, because after all
[SLAP!]
Thank you I feel much better now.
Myrnalene, I feel this hasn’t been a very good flame. My heart isn’t in it today for some reason. Best wishes my dear. Enjoy the Boards. [kindly old nun voice] Post often, and discard 20% of what you’ve written before you post, bless you. And remember,
Climb Ev’ry Mountain
Search High and Low
Follow Ev’ry By Way
Knock Three Times and Ask For Joe…
[music swells, Redboss falls unconscious. chorus of singing nuns enter, singing. Chorus of dancing nuns enter dancing. Tsunami appears on horizon (cue special effects) photgraph of Russell Crowe is lowered from ceiling. Fade to black]
silence.
Audience get up and go, mumbling “it wasn’t as good as last year, was it?” to each other. Dopers, baffled, retreat.
[sup]Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do…[/sup]
channeling the spirit of posters who’ve been flamed to death in the history of the SDMB
redboss you are a nazi yeah and you can jus take your posts and shove them up youre ass who are you to say these people are wrong anyway it could be you thats wrong and anyway you dont even know how to bold so that shows how stupid you are so shut up. they are jus trying to test theyre posts man and you come down on them like this i think your way out of line
runs away
Oh, THANK you, sir!
<blushing furiously>
OK, Redboss, listen up, because I’m only going to say this once.
I’m made of rubber, you’re made of glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks onto you.
I like to say that I’m here to help make this blur’s most successful thread ever, but the reality is, I’m just sig testing.
You said it, bro.
please, please, please…
WTF? It was there when I previewed.
Shall we try again?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Oh no my dear; you won’t be running away. You see, that door is locked. There’s no use looking for another door. There isn’t one. And forget the window - there’s a sheer cliff outside my dear.
Guards !! Seize that woman! Tie her up!
So sorry to have to use force my dear, but you leave me no alternative, do you?
You have openly defied me, and all who know the merciless Redboss know that he is never defied with impunity. The penalty for such treason is the death of a thousand sig tests. Aaah [on descending scale] hahahahahahaha !!
Yes, while you writhe in your bonds, one after another tentative and inexperienced posters will compose cute messages, self-inflated remarks and obscure references to science-fiction movies, and test them on you!!!
Aaah [again on descending scale, but with key change] hahahahahahaha!!
No use pleading my dear. My wrath is inexorable!
Now, she seems thoroughly secured to the wall. Let the testing begin. Aah hahahahahaha!!
Thank you Chronos. Glue, is it? Well, thanks.
May I say this is just another example of the high-handedness we have come to expect from these self-appointed (well, Chicago Reader Straight Dope Message Board-appointed actually) so-called Moderators.
** Chronos**, for your information MY MOTHER reads these boards. She rang me in tears yesterday morning because of what you have said in this most un-called for posting.
“My son, my so beautiful son” she said in a trembling voice, “how he call you glue? You no glue! You never glue!! Always good boy. Never go with glue gangs. Never! Instead practice violin, sell papers on street corner. Oh you my good boy, never glue, NO NEVER GLUE…” And at this point she became hysterical. Thank goodness my Aunty Despina was there to give her the heart medicine.
Chronos, the pain you may have caused me is nothing. That’s easily forgotten. But the agony of seeing my mother readmitted to the Broken English Ward yesterday I will never forget.
So it is with a heavt heart that I must reply formally to you.
** YAH YAH FARTY PANTS!**
Thank you
Redboss
[sub]remember sigs cause bandwidth problems.
Give up sigs.
If you sig and post, you’re a bloody idiot.
Bandwidth doesn’t shoot people - sigs do.
Good thngs come in glass and don’t add a sig afterwards. etc[/sub]
Don’t worry Redboss, darlin’, I wasn’t going to use the tacky thing (and take such rank advantage of your sweet hospitality). I just wanted to see if I could do it and the little linky. My posts since that test (all 3 of 'em) have been free of the abomination.
Mynalene honey, you’re my kind of woman!
RB
(short because I’m at work)
Myrnalene
sorry.
Since you’re such a gentleman, you may call me whatever you like.
I’ve got it: this is a thread about testing patience, right? What do I win?