This is simply too delicious to believe.

The BBQ Pit
1

As referenced in this thread, I work with a Texas Twat. Let me here state that not everyone from Texas is a twat - this woman just happens to be a twat from Texas.

Today as I was trying to finish up to leave work, the printer was tied up pumping out (badly worded) letters to various businesses around town, requesting them to send business cards to Craig Sheppard. These are being printed on company letterhead. By none other than Texas Twat.

I didn’t say much. I had nothing that couldn’t wait until the morning.

Something irked me, though.

I realized what it was not two minutes before leaving tonight. It’s an urban legend. Glurge at its finest. Kid is sick and dying, kid wants to set Guinness world record by collecting business cards.

I told Donna, our co-worker, that I thought it was an urban legend. She shrugged and said “No, we got a fax from [other branch of the company]'s office.” Texas Twat picked it up and ran with it. I don’t believe she obtained permission to do this, in the company name.

So, this evening I decided to make sure, and went on over to Snopes, and found this. God, I love Snopes. I was right. There was a boy who wanted to set a record. He’s long since recovered from his cancer.

Texas Twat is going to look foolish. I should not be happy about this. I probably would not, if she hadn’t been such an unbelievable ass to me.

I feel, somehow, vindicated. Go ahead, bitch. Piss me off again. Maybe I can expose to everyone in this town what an unbelievably false person you really are. They would know how much you gossip, they would know how two-faced you are. Oh, and not to mention how passive-agressive. Let’s not forget how you will say things to me as though I don’t know my job - did you forget that I was fucking head-hunted for it, and you’ve only been doing it for a year, to my ten years experience? Take that fucking B.A. in Nursing [uh, we work in INSURANCE] and shove it up your flabby Texas ass.

I’m going to hell for this. My mother would spin in her grave, if she were dead. Bwaaaaahahahaaaa

2

Tell everyone about it. Send rebuttals in company letterhead saying “regardless (or irregardless? :D) of what Texas Twat has sent to you, the company does not advocate spreading ignorance.” Run with it!

3

Heh, bust her large. It’s one thing to send email from your company add’y but it’s another entirely to send snail-mail, on company letterhead as though the company officially endorses the thing.

Stupid bint. Light her up, Snopes her out.

4

Bust her large, absolutely.

A solid 8 for the rant. Flames a little low, but then, you’re from Canada. :smiley:

5

Gimme a break, DDG. I don’t even swear, usually. Numpty is about as strong as I usually cuss.
Not that Numpty is a cuss word.

BTW, when I got into the office this morning and advised her of the existance of Snopes (aaaaah GOD I love Snopes) she turned all white. Which is difficult 'cause she’s of Mexican descent.

She sent the letters last night. They are gone. They are now property of Canada Post.

Bwwwaaaahahahahahahaaaaaaa!

6

Ooooh. Extended torture. They’ll take forever to get where they’re going :wink:

I love these people. I’m the one who does a reply to all to the idiot who sends the whole company the virus hoax email with the URL pointing out why they’re wrong.

<aside>
DONT THESE IDIOTS REALIZE THEY WASTE BANDWIDTH? (and I’m not doing that by browsing boards from work. Nope, nope. This is edjumakational materials, here!)

7

Interesting. From her reaction she seemed to be aware of Snopes. Therefore, it seems to me that she did that on purpose, in full knowledge that it was an UL. What name did she sign at the bottom of the letter ?

8

No, no no… she didn’t know it existed. I took her to the actual site this morning.

She signed her own name to the bottom of the letters. Including the “B.A” part.

This is going to fuck up her ‘high’ standing in town. Bwaaaahahahahahaaaaa!

(And screw you, I’ll do an evil laugh in each post if I like ;))

9

see if you can get the rest of them texans up there to the great white north! maybe we can convince them it’s some kinda NAFTA thing. (would raise the average i.q. of both nations!)

I’M JUST KIDDING, DAMMIT! (maybe…)

10

<Gulp>
I was planing to move out there after the trip I just had…now I’m not so sure…evil people frighten me. :wink:

11

Would you have me call our resident Canadians the Canadian c*nts from now on? Same for our Australian asses and our Mexican morons?

Your co-worker does sound like a real twat. I’m glad you busted her chops. She deserved it. But there’s lovers and losers from every state and every country and I’d rather give them each a chance before I automatically typecast them based on where they hail from.

Wouldn’t “Our Fat-assed, snope-dope, two-faced, B.A. hugging twat” be more appropriate?

Just a thought from… well, what would I be? A Texas turd?

12

Don’t mind lieu.

He’s an Astros fan

Down with Texas!!!*

*Except for Kerry and Oscar

13

“Texas Twat”? “Down with Texas”?

::getting out her knives::

Some of us are Texans, you know. You’ve even got an Administrator who’s a proud Texan. I was born here, and I moved back here after I had to go to other places for business purposes.

::sharpening knives::

14

That’s enough, jarbaby.

We Astros are managing to self-destruct just fine without any outside help. Thanks one hell of a lot for the lessons. :stuck_out_tongue:

Woohoo Lynn! I’m riding sidesaddle with an Admin!!!

15

She actually signs her name with the B.A. after it?

Goodness gracious.

16

Well, Ginger mentioned she does have a bad ass.

17

Although I have great respect for those who worked to earn their degree, it just goes to show you that not everyone with one is actually smart.

18

As funny as the predicament that Texas Twat has gotten herself into is, this is the part that makes me laugh the most.

–Strainger, B.A.E.

Added upon preview:
Like Dragwyr, I also have a great respect for anyone who earns a degree, but B.A. isn’t exactly a title with which you follow your name, such as MD, PhD, or PE. Then again, I know of a lot of PhDs who aren’t exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer either.

19

Don’t you people read?

20

I wish you could’ve stopped her before she sent out the letters.

Not that I care about her own embarrassment, I just hate thinking of all the wasted paper, wasted postage, wasted effort, not to mention continued annoyance at whatever address she asked people to send the cards to.

These are examples of the small (but measurable) damage urban legends cause.

Texas Twat sounds like an extremely insecure person. Her trying to tell you your business and putting the “B.A.” after her name are bright red beacons of this. I feel sorry for her.