There’s a work friend at another department that I haven’t seen in a while because of her maternity leave. She got back a few weeks ago, so I contacted her to meet up for lunch. I was the one who suggested the date and time, so I let her choose the food place. We ended up at a sit-down restaurant, and when it was time to order, she ordered just water. Thinking maybe she didn’t get enough time to choose, I told the waitress we needed some more time, but the friend insisted that I place my order. I did, and when the food came, she pulled out her container of food and started chowing down.
It was a little surreal and I might have given her a strange look, but didn’t say anything. When the bill came, she put down a couple of dollars and we went on our way. We don’t work in a secluded area or anything. There are plenty of other choices like open area cafes without dedicated waitresses, or even fast-food type places where we order at the counter and take it to a cafeteria style seating. It kind of boggled my mind that she didn’t choose any of those when she wanted to bring her own food.
I asked a few friends if it was weird, but they said it was “understandable” that she wanted to eat her own food for whatever dietary restrictions… and yes! I understand that! But why did she choose a restaurant?! That’s weird, right?
It does seem weird that she would choose the restaurant, then eat her own food.
When I was on a very restricted diet for a while, I tried not to let it keep my from going out with friends. I would usually just tell them to pick wherever they wanted to go, and that, because of my restricted diet, I would probably just have tea. I would eat usually eat before we went out because it seems weird to bring your own food to a restaurant.
Hmmm. I actually hadn’t considered the utensils aspect. She didn’t bring her own and used the restaurant’s. Although, the cafes around here have open containers for people to take whatever they need as well.
Dietary restrictions I can believe, but it’s weird that she was so unforthcoming about it.
A lot of restaurants have a policy that you can’t eat outside food on their premises. Maybe she chose this restaurant because she knows they don’t enforce that policy? But whatever - I’d expect her to be open about her plans not to eat and her reasoning for making a restaurant selection. From the way the OP tells the story, she didn’t explain anything, even when the OP asked for more time from the waitress so she could make a selection. If it were me, at that point I’d say something along the lines of, “Oh, please go ahead - I actually brought my own food because I’m following doctor’s orders about what I’m supposed to eat very strictly. In fact I chose this spot because they already know that, and don’t mind if I bring my own food.”
It is weird, and unless she actually knows the owners of the restaurant or something, it’s also rude to bring your own food to a restaurant (like CairoCarol says, a lot of them have a policy about that). She’s lucky they didn’t kick her out.
Another (better) option for her would have been to say something like, “I’m on a restricted diet these days; how about we just meet in the company cafeteria?”
On the other hand, if she has an 8-week old baby at home and has only been back at work a couple weeks, everything is probably so surreal and blurry right now that looking for underlying logic may be futile. There may just not be any.
It’s also weird from the perspective that by knowing she wouldn’t eat the food, she also deliberately chose the extra expense of a sit down restaurant for her friend. Weird and rude. It would have come up (if she were me) in the initial conversation, anyway, “I’m on a strict diet and will be eating my own food, so you should pick the place.” Simple, and not awkward for the friend I’m meeting when it’s time to actually eat lunch.
Manda JO, the 8 week old baby you speak of is more like a one year old. Canada and my company has a pretty sweet deal for maternity leaves! I don’t discount her being sleep deprived but she seemed pretty pre-baby energetic during the lunch.
I didn’t say anything at the time because I was caught so off guard and by the time I regained my composure from my “What the hell is going on?” thoughts, the conversation didn’t really allow for anyway for me to ask “So what’s the deal with choosing a restaurant and bringing your own food?”
I think the weirdest thing, actually, is that no one else in the company thinks that was weird!
I could see it if there was a large group and she was the only one that didn’t want to eat there. And it was fast food. And she was under doctor’s orders.
Just you and her? And she picked the place !?!? More than a couple of screws loose.
I have to say, I’m a little relieved to see you guys agree that it was weird. After the lunch, I asked my non-work friends who said it wasn’t weird. I thought that was because some of them work in industrial parks where they don’t actually have any food options so didn’t really get where I was coming from. That’s when I asked a few co-workers who also said it wasn’t weird. The only person who would agree it was weird before I posted was my sister, and she’s family.
Also, when I came back from lunch just a few minutes ago, an office mate came by and said “You always go out for lunch.” Mmmhmm. Why yes, I do. I waited for her to proceed with a request or to relay some information, but she was “just making an observation” and skipped off on her merry way.
WTF? I am starting to wonder if it’s some long haul prank.
Perhaps she really liked the seating and atmosphere. My friends are amused if we walk by a place and they want to know if we should eat there - I’ll often look more at the seating than at the menu. I wouldn’t do the whole eat my own food routine, but I can see why someone else would.
Maybe she is depressed, or has good memories of the place…
