I have placed some newer songs on my Iuma site. I am looking for feedback on the quality of the sound and songs in general.
Some are a few months old, some brand new. They are works in progress and ANY feedback good or bad would be great! If you love it, GREAT! If you hate it, even better! Just let me know what was bad about it. The address is:
You can stream the songs so you don’t have to download them all however I think you need to stream all of them at once as individual streaming doe not seem to work.
So, here’s a shorter version.
I liked all of them except Pimpwar, which was too Ween-ish for my tastes. My fave was “With You Without” closely followed by “10 minutes or Less” which was too short imho.
PS. I am mighty impressed that you played all the instruments yourself.
-Luna
‘Pimpwar’ was good, tho ‘10 minutes or less’ left me sort of uninspired. The vocals in ‘Pimpwar’ are a little cheesy, but I guess you were sort of going for that. I liked the instrumentation and melody to ‘with you without you’ a lot, and I actually like your voice (if that’s you singing), but the harmonies could use some work on that track. I mean, since you asked for criticism. In the intro (first minute or so), when the vocals are linked to the guitar, there are a few sour notes, and the times when the backing vocals come in, the vocal tracks don’t, in my opinion, blend well. The rest of the song is awesome, though. I love the vocals through the middle section, and the part at the end where the bass line and guitars stop and it’s just vocals over the drums. That’s hot.
‘Gone’ had its good points, but I think it could use a little complexity – you’ve basically got one hook and the breakdown-style thing at the end. Good stuff, though.
All in all, very, very impressive. Wish I had talent like that. But sadly, all I know how to do is critique the stuff that other people do that I could never dream of accomplishing myself.
Wow, Thanks for the great critiques. I really do appreciate them and plan to work on the songs based on your responses.
To address some of them, I agree about 10 minutes or less. It could really use something. There is actually a full song using the music and a friend of mine singing. It sounds really good but the mix is BAD.
With you without is actually a collaboration between myself and a friend in NYC. He played all the music on it and I just wrote and sang the vocals. White Lightning is 100% on about the fact that I hit some mighty sour notes. I will probably go back in and fix them however I am damn lazy! Case in point, on Beast (the iron maiden cover) my voice cracks BAD in the second verse. I left it there out of pure laziness. We’ll see.
Pimpwar is definitely supposed to be cheesy. It was written almost a year ago during the SDMB pimpwar craze. Very ween-ish I agree. It makes me smile though
Lastly as for Gone. I like your recommendation a lot white lightning. I will probably either add a part or right something a little more complex this weekend. I re-listened to it and you are dead on about that.
Thanks again and if anyone else has any suggestions I would love to hear them!
You can look in the store, but I don’t think you will find them anytime soon. I may do cd’s in the future for anyone who wants them but I’m not happy enough with enough of the songs to make one yet.
Awhile back I had offered to make a SDMB musicians compilation cd for everyone but there were only like 2 peopl who wanted to submit. I thought it would be really fun for anyone who made music and was a doper to submit like 2 songs and I would compile them on 1 cd and send them out to anybody who wanted one. Oh well. Maybe I will try again if anyone actually expresses interest in the idea.
Being somewhat outside my usual genre, I can’t add too much… but I did enjoy the music. Some of the vocals could use better balance - unless that’s what you wanted?
oh great. just what this world needs…another drummer who thinks he’s a musician.
I can’t wait for you to get famous so I can make blackmarket fan memorabilia!
I especially can’t wait for your impending fame because I have some ‘interesting’ pictures of you and Brocolli! in compromising situations. E-Bay, here I come!
seriously Pezzy, ignore my joking.
I love your stuff. can’t wait to hear more.
Well, since this got bumped anyway, I want to take the opportunity to say that since you changed your “location” entry, pezpunk, every time I see one of your posts I get a little shock when I see “BANNED” under your name.
Seriously, every time. ‘pezpunk banned?? What?! Ohh yeah.’
I’ll comment on each of them as I’m listening to them stream. Real life real time real comments from real audio, I guess.
Gone: Very nice music. You may want to remix a bit as I can’t hear a good portion of song until the “chorus” where the instruments stop playing.
Home: Again, a small problem with understanding the lyrics. Not a bad song but not all that creative either. Sounds like a lot of other pop on the radio.
10 minutes or less: Good song. though I’m not sure if I like the backbeat so much. I think it needs to be less bangy and methodical and a little more jazzy.
Beast: It has this '80s feel to it. What does this sound like? Um…I’m trying to think of the song. All I can think of is Flying Purple People Eater but that isn’t right. I know it sounds strange, but that’s what I thought of.
Pimpwar: quite short. Not a bad song though.
Overall it really isn’t bad. Don’t bump me up to groupie or anything, but I’d certainly like to hear more.
