The latest claim by Hugo Chavez is that the Haiti earthquake was caused by the US. According to Chavez this was only a test, in preparation for doing the same thing to Iran.
Hahahaha - well, he has to do something. Much of his own political credibility rests on being seen as a “counterweight” to the US. If the Americans are seen as a benign influence in the Caribbean and South America, then Chavez’s credibility takes a ding. One way to avoid that ding is to try and persuade people that the Americans are to blame for Haiti’s current misfortune. A smarter way to do it might be to argue (and not groundlessly) that the Americans have improperly usurped a leadership role in Haiti that ought properly to belong to the UN - but that wouldn’t grab headlines, largely because reasonable people are already saying that. (I’m not saying this criticism is necessarily correct, merely that it isn’t crazy.) And grabbing headlines for Defying American Abuses is the name of the game here.
How do you know the U.S. hasn’t already caused an earthquake in Iran?
(:rolleyes:, in case that wasn’t obvious)
Hugo Chavez has accused the US Navy of attacking Haiti with an earthquake-producing weapon, as a dress-rehearsal for an attack on Iran. Conspiracy theorist websites have speculated that the Obama administration ordered a HAARP attack on Haiti, in order to test the technology’s capability as a non-nuclear option to attack hardened underground targets. These theorists claim that a “bonus” for the Obama Administration and Democrats, is the massive influx of Haitian immigrants (and amnesty for those already illegally here), who will be welfare-dependent wards of the state and who will swell the ranks of the Democratic party.
Do you believe earthquakes can be initiated by a man-caused event? Do you believe the US has the technological capability (HAARP or otherwise) to initiate earthquakes, and do you believe, should the capability exist, that the US would test it on Haiti, and / or use it on Iran? Do you believe that the “bonus” of a massive influx of Haitian immigrants into the US would be a secondary objective of the operation?
This clown is head of a country?
Chavez, I mean.
Yep. Hugo nailed it, as always.
Obama made a secret pact with the Chinese-- they all jumped up and down at the same time.
Ah, it’s a 2010’s style “earthquake ray.”
It’s called a “Freedom Tremor”.
Obama conspired with with the past 35 administrations, and Jesus, to focus a top secret Poverty Ray onto Haiti
I strongly suspect that former law professor Obama is smart enough to figure out that a wave of Haitian immigrants, whether legal or otherwise, are highly unlikely to achieve citizenship in time to vote for him if he chooses to run for a second term.
This is gonna be the most debate-free debate thread in Straight Dope history.
And if I’m wrong about that, it’ll be pretty depressing. Come on OP, this is sheer wackjobbery.
Although we might be able to work up a nice tangential debate on why Chavez is saying this (other than his innate wackjob propensities, that is). Do you think it’s an attempt at distraction from the gerrymandering charges or the drug war pressures?
Do these questions really need to be answered? Do they have any bearing on reality at all? HAARP? Someone’s been watching too much Remo Williams.
Okay - taking these as serious questions, and opportunities to fight ignorance:
1.) Sure, we could maybe start an earthquake if we wanted to. Drop enough nukes on a fault line that’s already close to going, and you might cause an earthquake. Possibly. I guess. (I’m not a geologist, but that sounds plausible.) More importantly:
2.) Even if we had Magical Earthquake Rays, there’s no way in heck we’d test any weapons platform on a country we weren’t at war with. Come on - we have large areas of the country (testing grounds at military bases) specifically set up for controlled testing of weapons systems. More to the point - we aren’t monsters. And even if we were, and we wanted to rub our hands fiendishly whilst counting the dead our glorious Magical Earthquake Rays produced - Haiti would be a miserable choice, because damage assessment is complicated there. We still don’t have an accurate death count, and it’s possible we never will.
3.) No one in US politics would benefit from an influx of desperately poor refugees. Believe it or not, the Democrats don’t actually lie awake at night dreaming up ways to spend government dollars for no reason. Yes, we have poor people, and most Democrats would say government should do something to help those people - but no one would say “Huzzah! Tens or hundreds of thousands more poor people for the federal government to help!”
4.) It takes years for immigrants to become citizens - even becoming lawful permanent residents is difficult, and it’s unlikely many Haitians will manage it. Many who’re already here are being placed in Temporary Protected Status for 18 months - baring certain expections, we won’t kick them out of the country. But that doesn’t help most of the people who’re still in Haiti. And in no way does this help the Democratic Party win elections, aside from the narrow sense that good humanitarian policy might endear it to voters.
Most conspiracy theories alleging nefarious secret misdeeds by democratic governments in open societies are nonsense, because such governmetns and societies make massive conspiracies very difficult to maintain. This is no exception.
Good jokes aside, and as goofy as it sounds, I thought it was “interesting”. I’m primarily interested in hearing people’s opinion on using an “earthquake attack” as a means of reaching Iran’s hardened underground sites, seeing as how the use of tactical nuclear weapons would almost certainly be an option that’s off the table in most people’s minds.
Chavez is such a dope - the space shuttle doesn’t even launch until February 7th!
Kimstu, we’ve “debated” 9/11 as a false-flag operation here ad nauseam, so I don’t think this is too far out of the realm of debatable topics.
It would have worked, too - if it weren’t for you meddling Venezuelans!
All seriousness aside, it is fun to watch the video of the OP and put into words what Fearless Leader’s audience has to be thinking.
"*O Jesu Maria - he’s off on the Secret Earthquake Weapon kick again. Have those dolts in the palace forgotten to put the Thorazine in his water again? God knows they should have learned after he made the feather duster Minister of Culture last month.
I wonder how many Frequent Flyer miles I can get for a one way ticket to Switzerland…*"
Regards,
Shodan
Yes, Obama did use it on Haiti. The control room is in a bunker in New Jersey, where I clean the bathrooms. I also saw Cheney use the controls in the next room over to shoot Katrina at Cuba. Apparently he’s about a good a shot with hurricanes as he is with shotguns.
I never approach these types of issues from the viewpoint that anything is beneath us. Entire societies have committed acts that are far, far worse (Holocaust). And if this technology existed, you can be assured that there is someone, somewhere, who would use it. Granted, probably not a US President, but then I think about Operation Northwoods and how, although it was never green-lighted, it did make it to the President’s desk, and that fact alone is pretty scary.