In Night of the living dead
Ben gets a bullet in the head
In So I married an Axe Murderer
He really married the sister of an axe murderer
In Office Space
Milton burns the place to the ground.
In Almost Legal 34
Gina gets a money shot on her tits and says “yummy”
In Helter Skelter
The wild-eyed short dude goes to jail.
In Gigli
I could really say anything happened because no one ever saw this film.
In Casablanca She gets on the plane. Even though Bogie is better.
In Sabrina Bogie gets the girl (because he’s better) and they go to France.
In Sunset Boulevard She’s ready for her close-up.
In Arsenic and Old Lace We find out the cab driver is really a coffee pot.
The Holy Grail [spoiler] King Arthur gets arrested by the British Police.[spoiler] which was brought to you by Ralph The Wonder Llama.
The Usual Suspects: Verbal is Keyzer Sosa.
Armageddon: The asteroid does not hit the earth. Bruce Willis dies.
Ocean’s 11 They escape with a bajillion dollars of Terry Benedict’s money. George Clooney gets the girl.
Marlitharn, your ARSENIC AND OLD LACE spoiler wins the prize for best ever, I 'bout fell off my chair laughing.
Terminator trilogy:
The future is history.
Matrix trilogy:
It’s all one big mindf***.
Lord of the Rings trilogy:
Aragorn finally becomes king, but Legolas is still the prettiest.
Star Wars prequel-trilogy:
George Lucas buggers precious nostalgic childhood memories, causing lifetimes worth of fanboy trauma. The general public yawns and keeps staring at the shiny CG.
In Casablanca
Bogart’s character never really says, “Play it again Sam”
The universe
is gonna collapse into itself to the size of a pinhead.
The sun’s gonna burn out.
The cockroaches outlive us.
:eek: YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP!! DAMN YOU!!! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!
I thought that implied in the series. Hell, it was stated in the series.
In Full Metal Jacket,
The Drill Sergent yells a lot. He’ll also be the only guy in the everyone remembers.
In Touch of Evil
The kid was guilty but Orson Well’s character was still a racist asshole.
In The Godfather Movies
Al Pacino kills everyone.
In Alexander
He’s Gay. His Mother really LOVES him. There, I saved you 3 hours of your life
In The Seventh Sign,
They all dance at the end
In Metropolis,
We find out that revolt of the workers and coporate oppression are both bad. We also learn that stupid, feel-good platitudes can make all the difference.
In The English Patient,
He dies at the end. It takes three long, tedius hours, but he eventually dies.
In Fight Club
You don’t talk about fight club.
Also in Fight Club
Brad Pitt really looks like Ed Norton. No doubt Jennifer Aniston was suprised.
In My Dinner with Andre
They eat dinner. And talk.
In Demolition Man
Taco Bell serves bad food in small quantites, and there’s no meat in any of it.
In The Matrix
Neo is really Bill S. Preston, Esq. WILD STALLION!
In Saving Private Ryan
People die on Omaha Beach. Bloodily.
In Star Wars
Luke Blows up the Death Star.
In Night of the Living Dead
Brains.
In A Streetcar Named Desire
Vivian Leigh overacts Horribly, except when she’s doesn’t.
Also in A Streetcar Named Desire
Stanely knows a lot about Napoleonic Code, apparently
In Gone with the Wind
The North Wins the Civil War
In Duck Soup
The President starts a war on false pretenses. Because it’s Groucho, it’s funny.
In Passion of the Christ
Mel Gibson totures Jesus for three hours.
In Phone Booth
Jack Bauer tortures Colin Ferrel for two hours. Events occur in real time.
You don’t know the history of Tripods. Tom Cruise does!
In Aliens
“Game over, man! Game over!”
In Aliens
“Game over, man! Game over!”
Do I get a prize for knocking an admin out of his chair?
In “Rocky VI,” Sylvester Stallone will box.
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