This isn’t bad, but embarrassing at the time. In hindsight, it’s pretty funny. In my early 20s, I was a server at a local pizza joint. It was mostly family-oriented, but one day we hosted a pretty tame bachelor party. There were about ten guys just drinking beer and eating pizza. At one point, they were making fun of the soon-to-be-married guy while I was serving them. One of them said, why don’t you give him a kiss? They were annoying about it for a minute, so I said, “I’ll blow him one.” Wow, did that place explode! Of course, I meant I’d blow him a kiss!! I was so embarrassed! Fortunately, there was another server coming on and my shift was almost over, so I ducked the hell out of there. I found out later they’d left me about a 40% tip. 
I think the fewest I’ve ever seen is 8, and the most is 12.
One time I was in Vancouver and we were busy for most of the day because we had 9 hours of band rehearsals every day but one night after rehearsal some of us tried making microwave popcorn without a microwave.
I’ve played my alto clarinet at a local shopping mall 4 times.
I went swimming in the Danube river with friends one night. I still have a rock that my friend gave me from that night.
Life is an adventure!
I have several stories that I could share but many may not have been exactly legal in all aspects (and most involved Tequila shots) so I’ll stick with one that happened just last week.
My car has a big V8 and with the cold weather if it sat for a day or two I could tell the battery was having trouble getting it to start. Not unexpected since it was about 6 years old.
Went out on Monday and it wouldn’t start. Good news is my wife and I work in the same building (different companies) so I asked if she could take me in. I’m a little bit mechanical and knew that swapping a battery out was well within my skill set. Our schedules don’t always match up so I let my wife know that I would Uber home if needed. Turns out we were able to drive home together as well, but when we got home I didn’t really feel like pushing the car back a bit so I could get to the battery, nor work in the cold and dark so we agreed to plan to do it Tuesday night.
On Tuesday we again coordinated rides to and from work and decided we had to get the job done. It was cold out so wanted to do it inside the garage. My wife got in the driver’s side and I pushed my car back to almost touching the garage door but not quite. That gave me room to get the hood up and squeeze over to reach the battery while leaning over the fender. The garage though only has one light and with the hood up it really didn’t get much light to the battery.
So I found a flashlight and had my lovely wife light the work area up (although not very well). First thing I did was to accidentally brush the wrench against the positive terminal which sparked… my wife screamed and jumped. I reassured her that once I got the negative off it wouldn’t happen again.
I started to remove the negative cable and suddenly the garage door started to go up… WTF? Must have somehow given out a signal that matched the garage door opener. Put the door back down and tried again and again the door went up. Repeat the process and eventually got the negative cable off so that should solve any problem. Leaned over to get the positive disconnected and… same thing. This makes no sense… the circuit isn’t complete. Kept leaning in and every time I would touch something the door would go up… then down… then up again. My wife was telling me she thought the cables were touching each other… but they weren’t connected to the battery by now so how could that cause this? The battery is very heavy and I had trouble leaning awkwardly over the fender to lug it out, with the door going up and down the whole time.
Ok, go back to when I said the day before I could Uber home if needed? Well I didn’t have a house key so being very smart I grabbed the extra garage door opener and put it in my coat pocket. Totally forgot about it by the next night when I kept leaning over the fender and being perplexed about how a disconnected electrical system could open and close my garage door.
Our friend Spud’s car maintenance story started me remembering…
I noticed that there were a couple of girls that had rented an apartment across the street. A few days later I came home from work. One of the girls was sitting in her car. It was running, and blue smoke was pouring out from under it. As I got closer I could see that she was very upset. I reached though the window and shut the car off and asked her what had happened. She said she wanted to do her own oil change. She had called her dad and asked how much oil she needed. He said four quarts, five with a filter. She was unsure of what he meant, so she just put five quarts into the engine and started the car. I got some tools, drained the oil. I went to the auto parts store for a filter and new oil and finished her oils change. I suggested we go for something to eat and took her to Taco Johns. That was our first date. We have been together since that day, May 19th, 1972. That is my greatest adventure.
Wow! Longhair, that is quite the story. So happy for the both of you. Everybody should have a story like that, in their life.
You are very lucky.
Give your incomparable Sunflower a doper {{{hug}}} from me.
You want stories? Hold my beer. There was the time a garbage truck’s load ignited, and it dumped the resulting bonfire 100 feet from my apartment. Or the multiple shootings in that complex. Or the time I opened up my door, and there were 20 cops there looking for my next door neighbor?
When I was 8, I woke up with an excruciating earache. I couldn’t rouse eiither parent, and wound up crying myself to sleep in the hallway by the front door. Did I mention my mother is a pediatric RN?
I have two hitchhiking stories that I posted years ago.
I have another where I hitchhiked into NYC by myself after leaving Corning, NY. I’ll type it up if your interested.
You’re! Ugh.
This story! Are you related to the W family?
I’m smiling enough to break my face, and I’ll probably giggle all morning. Thanks for a fun start to my day?
~VOW
Yes, tell it!
Delores, I read your adventures and lament my sad, boring existence. Can I live vicariously thru you?
Just like that and I’m sucked in to the story. It’s an excellent one and you better believe Detrioit police get a lotta respect from me. They could have been assholes to us but they weren’t. Professionalism.
OMG Spud, I haven’t laughed like that in a while. Thank you. That story was right up my alley.:D:o
When my daughter was about to turn 11, I took her and a friend to a county parks faciity that an indoor water park - sort of like a mini version of a Great Wolf Lodge. She and her friend went one way, I went another. After a bit, the friend came to get me and said that my daughter had fallen and was crying.
I went over to her, and did the usual cuddling thing, and she felt better and went back into the pool.
A couple hours later, we got home, THEN she flopped down on the couch and started shrieking that her back hurt. Loudly. I imagine most of you heard it from across the country. I called the pediatrician’s office (this was a Sunday evening) just to see what they thought, assuming they’d say “just give her some Tylenol and ice it”. The doctor heard the 110 db wailing and suggested we maybe oughta go to the ER.
Long story short, she actually had a compression fracture.
Now, at her age this is generally no big deal. They gave her a painkiller (probably Tylenol 3) before we left, and had us schedule a followup appointment with the back specialist, but 36 hours later you could never tell she was injured.
More recently: about 2 years or so ago, she came to me saying she thought she might be having seizures. Now, my first thought was “malingering” (which was a reasonable assumption, without going into too many details)… but two of her cousins have had seizures, so I couldn’t ignore it. I told her to call her primary care doc and get referred to a neurologist. It took 4 months all in all… but damned if she wasn’t right - some kind of temporal lobe seizure.
So if you all are battling over Mom Of The Year awards, I’m clearly a contender :D.
We can let our kids duke it out!
~VOW
I have a thread/post somewhere about the lil’wrekker and her wisdom teeth removal. She was 18 and a complainer. She moaned and groaned, for a week. I assumed it was her over dramatics at play.
Came home from her college on a Friday and her face was really swollen. Took her back to the oral surgeon, on a late afternoon emergency visit.
He removed a large sliver of tooth left in her socket. Put her on antibiotics and pain meds.
I asked her why she didn’t tell me before that. :smack:
A mate and I swopped our entire names in RE (Religious Education) when we got a new teacher. She’s probably still pissed off at me that I got her higher mark when our reports came out 
We were 15, definitely old enough to know better.
My bad big bro’ had fun with the noticeboard. He didn’t go to our school, he went to the equivalent boys school, he was there for a school play or something. Anyhow he signed up the following for guitar lessons, Erica Clapton, Paula McCartney and Jemima Page. A few weeks later, when we had forgotten all about it, an annoyed teacher demanded in assembly that the following girls present themselves…
My bro’ sort of got one of my friends in trouble (no, not THAT kind of trouble) - or would have if friend hadn’t taken the moral high ground. It was at the height of the “hair wars” of the late sixties/seventies when adults were absolutely outraged at young men with long hair and thought it was their business to keep tabs on them.
So friend is called in to see the year head. Mystified as to what she was supposed to have done she complied. Year head was very upset. Friend had been seen talking to a boy at the school gates. By the wife of one of the school governors. Dreadful misconduct. It didn’t help that this yobbo had long hair and a beard. What’s more he was on a bicycle. Friend, now affecting mystification, said “That wasn’t, a boy, that was Spring’s brother.” And then she politely explained “I know him rather well, it would have been rude not to speak to him.”
The smallest number of garlic cloves I’ve seen is 3, can’t remember the maximum though.
Bonus limerick
There was a young lady called Beck,
Who told us all she was a wreck,
When she and her dogs,
Had trouble with hogs,
We knew it would all go to heck.