This turkey stole John Wick’s car and killed his dog.
This turkey froze to death listening to John Lennon.
This turkey was found suffocated in a bed of straw.
This turkey had one last request:
Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred.
Tan me hide when I’m dead.
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde, and that’s it hanging on the shed. All together now…
This turkey said “I’ll drop dead if Trump becomes President.” And he did.
this turkey called in John Wick’s marker, then double-crossed him
This turkey was a member of a death cult.
This turkey was dropped from a plan in Arkansas.
This turkey went gentle into that good night.
At first I thought this was referencing health care plans, then clicked on your link and realized you meant, “plane.”
Funny either way. 
Oops. Sorry about that. Yes, dropped from a PLANE as in airplane.
This turkey isn’t dead at all.
It has waited, undergone training and chosen its weapons carefully. This turkey is merely in cryogenic suspension.
Open with caution.
This turkey chocked to death on Trump’s toupee.
The bride that took this turkey’s breath away became the wife that made him hold his breath in terror.
This turkey tried to lower a barrel of bricks from the roof on a pulley. . .pre-tenderized
This turkey accepted an invitation to visit the Saudi Embassy.
This turkey let Thanos get hold of the last Infinity stone.
This turkey was found dead at his Love Ranch brothel about an hour outside Las Vegas. His body was discovered by porn actor Ron Jeremy and a prostitute at the brothel. The cause of death has yet to be determined, but the turkey had spent the four previous days partying with notables from the sex industry and political world celebrating his 72nd birthday. Despite being deceased, the people of Nevada, in their infinite wisdom, elected him to the state assembly a month later.
This turkey was, wha? Stop! Put down that cleaver! No! No! Aieieieeee…
This turkey choked on someone else’s vomit. However, we never found out whose vomit it was, because Scotland Yard still doesn’t have the facilities - you can’t dust for vomit.
This Turkey was nibbled to death by… what are those Earth creatures? Quack. Eat bread … ah yes, cats.
Nibbled to death by cats.
This turkey suffered a slow, agonizing, pointless death of cannibalization. It watched Battlefield Earth.
This turkey was not vaccinated against the flu.
Never bring a turkey to a cock fight!
Inspired by the thread title right above this one right now:
This turkey jumped into frozen lake with predictable results.
This turkey finally died, which started the whole world living.
This turkey was in love with dying, he was drinking from a fountain that was pouring like an avalanche, coming down the mountain.
This turkey had joy, he had fun, he had seasons in the sun, but the wine and the song, like the seasons, have all gone.