This turkey was killed by hand with a sharp knife

This turkey was testing to see if his new jacket was really stab proof.

Until today, the shortest story in the English language was traditionally reckoned as “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

It has been replaced by “For dinner: turkey denied pardon.”

This turkey placed his lava lamp on the stove to make it heat up faster. Pre-basted.

This Turkey said “hush, piggie” to the ham. One too many times.

reminds me of that rather cheeky:

For sale: French rifle, never fired, only dropped once.