This week's "work is fucked up" rant

The BBQ Pit
1

:rolleyes: ITEM - UPS can’t deliver a package to save their ass this week. Most of it has been weather delays - well, OK, only Og and various other weather Deities control the weather, not UPS. BUT–

We sent a package to a woman of Japanese descent in California. I won’t use her last name, but it bears more than a passing resemblance to a motor vehicle company. The fucktard driving the brown van in California kept bitching he couldn’t deliver the package because he can’t find a car dealership at that address. It’s an apartment building. Yes, you truck-felcher, that’s why the fuck I marked RESIDENTAL on the fucking waybill! After a half dozen exchanges between me, customer service, and truck-felcher he still doesn’t get it.

Look, jackass, if I address something to “John Ford” are going to sit there with your thumb up your ass whining “I can’t find the car dealership”? It’s a perfectly normal Japanese name, asshole, used for centuries by a shitload of Japanese people. Yes, that IS her name!!!

Let’s see what else is pissing me off…

:rolleyes: ITEM - thanks to government regulation, instead of compensating a person for upgraded airline seats, minus other money, the fucking regs want us to NOT pay for the upgrade (for a man 6.5 feet tall and quite broad who will sit on an airplane for 4+ hours) but rather pay him three times as much - but OG FORBID any money is paid on a bigger seat for a big guy.

:rolleyes: ITEM - because someone didn’t want to bother me for 15-20 minutes three weeks ago we now have an invoice we can’t pay. DESPITE being warned MONTHS ago she STILL went totally outside company procurement procedures. Said person is now bitching because she now has to write a memo that must be signed off by a company officer explaining why she did not follow procedure. FOR ONCE management had an attack of sanity and did NOT require the peons to do this for her - SHE has to do it. Personally, although she is otherwise a very competant and intelligent person, this time she should be forced to write, in crayon, “I DIDN’T FOLLOW PROCEDURES BECAUSE I HAD AN ATTACK OF FUCKING IDIOCY” and have the big wig sign off on it, but maybe I’m just in a pissy mood tonight.

:rolleyes: ITEMS - why the FUCK do people insist on just fucking STOPPING in the middle of traffic areas? Get off an escalator and STOP. Pass through a door and STOP. Get off an elevator and STOP. Cross halfway across the street and STOP. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY YOU ASSHOLES

:rolleyes: ITEM - Why do they put arthritis medicine in child-proof caps? Normal people can’t hardly get them open - you expect crippled up hands to get into them? How fucking stupid.

That’s all I can think of right now. The way the week is going I might have more tomorrow. But please - feel free to add your own bitchings.

2

:rolleyes: Why is it that whenever my coworkers are due to take a break, all the customers mysteriously leave. But, whenever I’m due, we are swamped and I can’t get away. This is how I managed to go 5.25 hours without even leaving the sales floor.

:rolleyes: It’s hour 4 for me, I already missed 1 break and now it’s time for lunch. So, you want me to cover paint so the paint guy can take lunch? How exactly is that fair? There are 3 department heads and 2 managers in that meeting you’re having, who all know how to mix paint. Why can’t one of them do it? I can’t help the fact that I’m the only peon who bothers to get crosstrained. I don’t mind helping. But, delaying my lunch so someone else can eat isn’t fair.

:rolleyes: Why am I so easygoing? Why don’t I say no when they ask me to push back my lunch for some one else’s benefit?

:rolleyes: Who the hell keeps puncturing the bags of grout? I do not like picking up a bag only to have 25lbs of sandstone sanded grout spill down my front, into my apron pockets and all over my pants. I just replaced all my pens because the last damaged bag of grout clogged them all. Now I have to buy new pens.

:rolleyes: I am well aware that your son’s grout was returned to the vendor. Know why? Becuase the only address he gave us was the one he doesn’t live in. He wasn’t there for delivery. When we called him to tell him the delivery was being held at the UPS terminal, he didn’t go get it. UPS sent it back. No we will not cover the $140 charge to overnight 75lbs of grout for him. And next time he does this, you can load the stock grout for him, because it spilled all over my new apron.

:rolleyes: To our installers: Yes, I know the tile is called Continental Slate. However the tile is Porcelain. You were told it wasn’t slate. You still insisted that we pay you an extra $3000 in labor charges because slate is hard to install. We can’t help the moronic names our vendors choose for their product. But, you could try believing us when we tell you something about a product WE SELL since WE are the ones with the product info. Someone almost got in a very large bit of trouble because of you. You had a few higher ups convinced that the person who created the install order had undercharged the customer by $3000. Luckily, the customer was paying attention and let me know what you did (I had nothing to do with the order or it would never have gotten that far) so the reprimand was pulled before some nameless peon in Texas got reamed. But, you also created about an hour of extra work for me, on a day when I had little time to spare as it was.

3

:rolleyes: When the pressman, the man whose full-time occupation for the last 25 years has been to run a printing press, tells you that some impossible job you want done is impossible, fucking believe him! You have only worked in the printing industry for 8 years. And most of that was spent learning customer communication, tax filing, payroll management, etc. Not presswork. Because you hired a very experience pressman to do the presswork. Asswipe.

:rolleyes: No, we really can’t guess what might be wrong with your animal over the phone. Stop asking. I know it’s hard to accept, but many problems will look the same on the outside and can only be differentiated by actually looking at, feeling, and/or running diagnostic tests on the animal. And telling you to do one thing, when the problem is something else, could seriously fuck things up. If you are worried, pony up the cash and haul your fat ass in.

:rolleyes: (school related) I know you are a very important researcher person with lots of important things to do and in all probability you are decent and well meaning. But please, do at least one of the following: recommend a textbook, write a syllabus with full paragraphs, or have an incredibly structured and well organized lecture style. I didn’t pay tuition to trust Wikipedia more than you because you can’t explain crap.

Thank you.

4

:rolleyes: Look, you lazy bitch, I know that there are three of us that moved out of your office after the merger. I’m so vewy vewy sorry that there are entities that haven’t worked with the three of us since before the merger. I’ve notified all and sundry of the address/fax change over the last year and a half that we’ve been in our new offices. I notified three entities with which we are now doing business again that our address changed. So, when they don’t do their job on their end and our mail ends up in your office, FUCKING SEND IT BACK TO SENDER. I know you cannot be arsed to forward it to us cuz you hate us now for some stupid reason, but when you get an invoice for us in the mail, FUCKING SEND IT BACK TO SENDER so that they know it’s wrong. GOD YOU ARE A FUCKING LAZY PETTY BITCH!!!

:rolleyes: And YOU over at the other operating unit who also had to move out to yet another office space, when you get invoices for me or my boss on your fax number (because you stupidly took the old corporate fax number with you instead of getting a new one because it would be easier for you) FUCKING FAX THEM TO ME! Eventually this will stop happening, but until it does being a reasonable human being. I would do it for you, hell, I do it for BOTH of you all the time!

Fucking bitches!!! It’s not like we didn’t work together for almost five years in the same office, and in that time I helped both of you repeatedly. You can now SUCK IT!

5

I hate to break the smiley pattern, but I’m going to.

This rant is on behalf of my husband, since the only bosses I have are covered in fur and are sleeping on the floor right now.

My husband was informed on Tuesday that his 3-6 month contract position is up a week from Friday, exactly at the three month mark. What really burns us both is that another guy started a week before him, but he’s still there. But the part that really sucks is that the other contractor comes in late, leaves early, and takes numerous smoke breaks and long lunches. I mean, we’re talking coming in at 9:30-10, leaving at 4, and taking 1.5-2 hours in the middle of that. So my husband, who always did his best, gladly took any work they offered, asked for more when he was out, always worked his eight hours, and made an effort to get along with his coworkers, is being let go and this lazy son of a bitch is still there.

I’m just glad the company’s CEO was recently fired, their stock is plummeting, and they’re going to be bought out soon. Losers. I hope they all get laid off without any notice. Just before Christmas.

6

Is this other contractor related to someone in charge? Wouldn’t surprise me.

7

:rolleyes: When you are walking down the hallway, walk on the RIGHT side. When you are going through a double door, go through the RIGHT side.
You drive on the right side of the road, it is not that hard of a concept.
If you do decide to walk down the left side of the hallway or go through the left door, do NOT expect me to yield to you. I will drop a shoulder and put you to the floor if you don’t get out of my way.

8

:rolleyes: I didn’t arrange this meeting. I could have cheerfully lived my entire life without meeting with you and answering your questions. This is your meeting, for **your **benefit. So don’t show up over an hour late for it! And don’t be surprised and snippy when I make you wait and only give you ten minutes of my time!

:rolleyes: You can’t be bothered to look up readily available information on our website. You can’t be bothered to read simple instructions before calling me in a panic. You don’t understand the basic terminology of your desired field, the basic structure of the American higher education system, or why I can’t bend over backwards to make special exceptions for you,you, you. And when I don’t give you what your little heart desires immediately, you like to call me names. I’m going to be not-so-secretly gleeful when you inevitably get that rejection letter in the spring.

:rolleyes: Security guard, I pass you at least three times a day, every day. I always give you a cheery “Hi!” Why can’t you be bothered, just once, to respond? And why does it hurt my feelings a little bit that you won’t?

9

And why the fuck can I not be bothered to preview? [/ DAMMIT!

10

:rolleyes: Oh, boss of mine? The list of custom fields we have is at the bottom of the e-mail I sent you asking what other custom fields we want to have.
:rolleyes: Oh, sales rep? The reason I’m putzing about with custom fields is because you refused to learn the contact management software we switched to last winter, so now I’m having to take a lot of time and trouble to switch back to the old software. You’d be better off avoiding me.
:rolleyes: The reason I finished that job before 9:00 am is because I knew it had to go out today and I wanted to give the folks in the back who’d be finishing it up plenty of time. Taking 2 hours to sign off on the QC sheet kind of defeats the purpose.

At least it’s Friday!:rolleyes:

11

Who keeps putting a new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser and a new roll of paper towels on the dispenser, but leaving the old rolls on top of the new ones, with only a couple squares left?

12

:rolleyes: Dear Coworker B,
I don’t know why Coworker C did what they did. Why don’t you ask them instead of me?
Signed,
Coworker A.

13

I don’t know, but I don’t think so. Neither of us knows what it was about. They also didn’t have the balls to tell him to his face. They called his contracting firm and told them and let them tell him that next week is his last week. So he was pretty much the last to know. Fuckers.

He has a couple of phone interviews today, one permanent, one contract position.

14

:rolleyes: Oh traffic signal repairer guys, when you decide to fix the one traffic light of a pair that’s out on a road with a 50 mph speed limit, might I suggest that there might be a better way to do it than pulling through the light and then stopping dead in the center lane of the six-lane road, in a truck with no blinking lights or anything else, while the remaining functioning traffic light is green so traffic is flowing at speed, at the height of rush hour on a weekday? We were two vehicles behind you when you decided to try to compete for a Darwin award, and you’re just lucky that the large truck between you and us had decent brakes so he could stop on a dime and not turn you into rush hour roadkill. At the least, get a cop out to direct traffic around you or something!

Okay, so it’s not my job I’m bitching about, but it’s their job, and what I want to know is what idiots hired these yahoos in the first place?

15

Oh, we can rant about other people doing their jobs? Cool.

:rolleyes: Dear road workers who have it arranged so that EVERY. SINGLE. NORTH-SOUTH. STREET. that crosses the 22 Freeway has at least one lane closed in each direction at all times, making my 25-minute commute take 45 minutes:

Please do your road working somewhere else. Wyoming should be far enough.

16

I’ll make it simpler- UPS can’t deliver a package to *a residential address * to save their ass, and it’s not just this week, it’s been that way for several years. This is one resaon why I am one of those that think turning the mail over to UPS and such is a bad fucking idea- UPS clearly doesn’t give a rats ass about deliveries to residential customers. Atfer all, us nasty inconsidate residential customers usually aren’t home during business hours, like their much vaunted business customers. That’s because we’re at our business you morons!

17

Two, 1,000-word articles about Christmas decorations.

'nuff said.

18

1,998 words to go, vibrotronica. Let’s get crackin’!

19

I just lost lost my one day off this week.

I don’t know when I’ll be getting another one.

Yay for working 7 days a week for ungreatful bosses who don’t have enough staff. :rolleyes:

20

Dear Boss,

I know you didn’t invite me to the lunch meeting with the potential customer, because you needed me to get the product (located in a remote location) working for the demonstration to follow lunch. That I understand.

What I don’t approve of is waiting two hours to tell me he didn’t show up for the lunch meeting.

What I really don’t approve of is you blaming the customer when I know fucking well you were at least twenty minutes late…which I know because you were still at the office 10 minutes after your appointment.