Retire early. Like, tomorrow.
And according to the Dope, you can also find seamstresses who do alterations at dry cleaners’.
Just let it go. You’ve done more than your share. In conversations with your manager, her refusal to meet company standards is worth one sentence.
Might she have some deep psychological problems? Does she hate her mother who manages to dress well? (“Business casual” isn’t hard.) That’s not your problem.
Wish everybody well & have an interesting retirement!
Does she know this? If not, maybe knowing that she’s up for a promotion might motivate her to take the dressing issue a little more seriously.
I agree with this except for one little alteration (get it?). The next time she shows up dressed inappropriately, call her into the office and say something along these lines:
"I believe you are the best person for this job. I chose you as my successor because I believe in your abilities. You can do the work involved. However, doing the work is only part of the job. If you want to keep this position after I am gone, you will have to change your style of dressing. It’s that simple. Once I’m gone, the buffer between you and the powers that be will be gone. And I can tell you honestly that they have doubts about how seriously you take this promotion when you act like a teenager who throws up objections to every change suggested.
Bottom line: if you want to have the pay and perks and responsibility of this job, you MUST dress the part. Study a catalog, ask your mother, ask a salesman. But just remember that there are people who are watching you who are waiting for you to fail. You are giving them ammunition.
Now, go home or go shopping, but don’t show up in my presence looking like this again. You’re embarrassing me and making me question my own judgement."
Seriously, it might be the best present you could give her.
I would agree with all **BeeGee **just said. Provided …
The higher-ups actually do care.
It’s not clear to me that anyone except our OP cares about this worker’s dress challenges. If indeed she (OP) is the only one, let it die today and be buried upon the OP’s retirement.
If the bigger bosses do care, then **BeeGee **has nailed it.
You can point the horse towards the bucket and explain that it’s full of water. If she can’t / won’t drink, then the results will be whatever they will be. And that will be totally the worker’s fault.
In either case the OP is right to wash her hands of the situation. Just as she will so many more as retirement day approaches.
I just checked out that site. That is such a good idea. The only upfront cost is the $20 for the personal shopper. All the clothes are sent free, and you pay for only what you keep and the personal shopper fee is taken out of your purchase price. It sounds like exactly what this woman needs. It was amazing how detailed it is about your likes and dislikes. Great idea!
It’s a great service, and right now most of my go-to clothing items are from Stitch Fix. I do have to caveat that value is not their strong point- prices are high for the quality of the items. It can also be a little hit or miss, especially in the beginning. As you provide feedback, they get better at finding good items for you. I think the really fun part is it gets you out of your comfort zone, and is great for keeping a wardrobe fresh without having to put much thought into it.
Also note the $20 fee is applied to any items you keep.
I’ve followed this story through two threads. Now I’m sitting on pins and needles hoping to find out what ultimately, if anything, can, did, will happen with the OP and his Protogé
I’m with the “wash your hands of her” group flavored with a touch of “inform your, and her future, direct supervisor, The Manager”
I am at a loss as to why this is so easy to discuss with us, in detail, but when she dresses wrong it isn’t brought up? “Jeggings”? GO HOME AND CHANGE. Jeans? GO HOME AND CHANGE. Holy cats this isn’t rocket science. Either give her proper guidance/correction or let it go, you’re going to drive yourself nuts. Even her own mother doesn’t want to get involved.
I’m finding it a bit much that people are suggesting that you take her to a shopper, etc.
She is a grown up and has been talked to regarding this. If I were her superior, the next time she came to work dressed inappropriately, she gets sent home. It happens again, she’s gone. She isn’t stupid, she knows what the dress code is, she simply doesn’t want to confirm.
Just change the dress code to wear what you like.
If it actually matters the invisible hand will punish and another business will benefit.
It sounds like it’s time for the OP and HR to have a sit-down to discuss – for the last time – EXACTLY what clothing is and is not acceptable.
Provide pictures. (I’ve had to do this before.)
After that, it’s down to her.
“My clothes are uncomfortable and cut into my waist” is not a management problem.
I don’t think her slovenliness is a firing offense. But she just got a promotion & seems to have a good future in the company. Coming up to Business Casual standards was mentioned in her performance review. If she continues to play dumb, she will damage her career–which involves meeting people outside the company.
The OP has done more than his share & needs to let this grown up woman live with the consequences of her actions. Or grow out of her mommy issues.
Lost my temper is what, when she came in Friday looking like she rolled out of bed after drinking all nite in raveled at the heels jeans and faded T.
Told her if she wants to look like a 14 year old kid instead of a 30 yr. old professional woman in a responsible position, there’s nothing I can do. I reminded her that people will treat her how she looks or whatever the correct way to say that is, and if she looks like a damn filing clerk in the back hall, and gets treated like one, that’s on her. If she ever wants her opinions to matter, well, they won’t. Crappy I was passing the whole “goal on her review” issue to the woman who will be her manager (and who is one of the co. owners) when I leave.
She came in 11 yrs. ago to help her mother (my pal in another division) file during the summer for pin money. She’s tried college and a couple of trade schools but has been here all this time doing rote clerical work. She’s bright and quick, has good problem solving skills, a nice personality, so what the hell, maybe those attributes will be all she needs. I don’t want to push my “old lady” thinking on her, but I see women her age all the time in the workplace who are appropriately dressed. To my old lady eye anyway.
done
Well then. First, she doesn’t seem to get any reinforcement of the rules, so obviously she is going to continue wearing what she was wearing because nobody is stopping her. Except finally you lose your temper at her in one emotionally charged burst at the end instead of approaching the topic calmly and repeatedly when you should have. Instead of on the very first offense after the first review, saying “Go home and change” you wait until she’s spent weeks dressed wrong without a word. Then you lose your temper and tell her it’s all about how people think of her. Wrong. She already likes the way she’s dressed and obviously does not care what people think of her when dressed that way. This is not the approach to take. The only approach to take is, “The business has decided this is the dress code for client relations, and you’re not in code.”
But whatever, you’ve decided “not my problem” so I guess it’s no longer your problem.
Hardly. We’ve had many discussions.
Well, you never mentioned how often you brought it up to her. Each thread seemed like you talked to her about two or three times and then just let the matter drop. Not, “Every time she came in with X on, I told her that it was inappropriate, but it hasn’t done anything to fix the problem”.
I guess she had zero repercussions about it that mattered, or she’d have stopped doing it. And really, what’s a rule without repercussions to back it up? It’s nothing. It might as well not exist.