I typed out a long reply and it seems to have disappeared or whatever.
I’ve known several people incarcerated for different reasons and all of their experiences were different. It depended on where they were, what they were in for and for how long.
I know two people locked up for DWI in two different counties and their experiences were different.
One wore street clothes and slept on a cot in a dorm, however his access to a phone and visitors was very limited (one phone call and one visitor a week by appointment only), the other wore a uniform, stayed in a cell but had very liberal phone use and unlimited visitors on visitor’s day. One of them was allowed to smoke, the other wasn’t but I can’t remember which was which.
When my ex-bf was in, I was mostly okay. I missed him but he’d call me once a week and I went to see him a few times. I had to make an appointment and if I was one minute late I lost it. All I could take in was my ID and car keys. I had to walk through a metal detector and they waved a wand around me. The inmates sat on one side of a counter, the visitors on the other, kind of like a diner. We were allowed to kiss hello and goodbye, anything beyond that would get you thrown out.
When my friend went to see her bf, same time, same charge, different county, they had the booth arrangement with glass between them and they had to talk on a phone.
I don’t know where you are or if it’s this way every where, but calls from the jail will be collect. You have the option to accept or not and there is an option to block the calls. Since cell phones can’t accept collect calls there is a system set up where you can deposit money so you can receive the calls to your cell. The cost depends on where you are, when my current guy was in, a call cost 42 cents, but a friend in another county had to pay $1.78.
Be aware that every form of communication will be monitored. There is no privacy. You should be able to send money orders for their account so they can buy candy, chips, etc at the commissary.
If you go to visit there will be a dress code, check it out before you get there. If your dress is not appropriate they will not let you in.
When my current guy was in it was very hard. Mostly though because neither of us knew it was happening, his ex-gf filed false charges against him, he was arrested and locked up. I couldn’t get a hold of him, didn’t know where he was or if he was okay for two days. It was a mess, he was furious at the charges, hoping to get out on bail, not allowed to call out except to his lawyer. I had to get all my information from his friend, who was getting it through his aunt, who was getting it through his lawyer.
Once he got settled in then he could start calling out.
He was locked up, in a uniform, all day in a cell except for break times. He took every class he could take just to get out of his cell.
There were 80 men sharing 4 phones. He’d get in line to wait his turn, calls are limited to 20 minutes. He’d hang up and get back in line, no way is anybody going to stand in line making call after call unless they want their ass beat.
He’d call me every few days and then he was so mad he’d end up picking a fight with me and hanging up on me. Then I’d get mad or hurt, but his friend sat me down and told me what he was going through was 100 times worse and to let it roll off, you can’t take it personally.
It was hard, I worried about him everyday, but the not knowing was the hardest part. I’d hear he was getting out on bail, then the bail would be denied.
He was only in there a little over a month before he went to court and the charges (52 of them by then) were dropped. He lost his job, almost lost his home and spent thousands in lawyer fees.
If he had known he was going to jail and it hadn’t been on false charges it probably wouldn’t have been so bad.