Those Silly Jews Keep Killing Jesus

You’re hot and female. You don’t need magical powers to impose your will on D&D players.

As a Wiccan, I’ve heard all of the silly things people believe about us. From animal and human sacrifice (not true of course, we don’t believe that anyone has the right to offer anyone elses blood), to worshiping satan (Hello, satan is a christian concept and has nothing to do with us!). It’s rather amusing to hear sometimes.

But that’s always been part of the fun of being a GM. Players are so wonderfully inventive.

I do use the word wonderfully quite deliberately. (I wonder why the blazes s/he thinks that will help.)

BTW, so - Broomstick, how are you doing? <d&r>

Some years ago, a new pastor was preaching at our church as part of the “interview” process. He quoted from the KJV during the course of his sermon.

At the congregational meeting, someone asked him about using that version as opposed to the NIV or something else.

In a joking way he made reference to the KJV being “the only true version of the scriptures” :smiley:

He was a pretty cool guy. :slight_smile:

Silly Wiccan, horns are for kikes!

Please don’t hurt me – I only said it for the pun

In an off-the-beaten-path bookstore a while back, I found a card that, on the outside, said, “Why do lesbians wear hats?” The answer revealed on the inside, of course, was, “To hide their horns!”
To clarify the matter, this wasn’t an anti-lesbian stance; it was an ironic statement; the bookstore was “alternative.” But I found myself asking – “Why would lesbians picture themselves with horns? As self-proclaimed victims of society’s demonization process?” I think I have a clue, now.

“Hey babe, I said I was horny, not horned.” :smiley:

Of course not! And as a gesture of good will you should send me a lock of your hair or fingernail clipping so I can give you a proper…blessing, yes that’s it blessing!

:smiley:

I have never personally been asked about the horns, but my wife was once.

My wife (then girlfriend) and I used to volunteer in our college’s EMS squad. One time a person asked her (after I left the office) where my horns were. (I guess Jewish women aren’t supposed to have horns). My wife (the ever-patient soul that she is- she puts up with me :slight_smile: ) kindly informed her that we don’t have horns.

Zev Steinhardt

I’ve noticed a surprising number of people who don’t know that Jews don’t celebrate Easter.

Cool! I converted to Judaism three years ago- when do I start getting my superpowers? Do I get to pick which ones I get?

In fifth grade, we watched a movie about Quakers. I don’t remember why; American history or something. Anyway, I mentioned to the teacher that I’m Quaker. She pulled me into the hallway, and told me that I couldn’t be Quaker because I dressed like a normal person and didn’t say “thee” and “thou.”

Sorry but you’ll have to draw from the jar like everyone else.

This is a serious question in a not-so-serious threads. What do observant Jews do on Christmas Day? I’m asking from a pass the time angle, not observance. Here is a Federal Holiday linked to a religion you don’t observe. Provided there’s not mixed marriage or anything else going on, what do you do to pass the day? Have a party of your own? Go to work and get double time? Just don’t think about it?

Heh, I’m not jewish and I would certainly work on christmas day if I got double time for it. Sadly, it’s not even an option where I work. I’d much rather just have the time off for days that I want rather than have them mandated by other peoples idea of when you should celebrate things.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I usually go to a movie or something. In the past, I’ve volunteered to work so someone else can spend the day with their family.

I’m in a mixed marriage, but I try to excuse myself from Christmas. It’s not my holiday and I feel uncomfortable celebrating it, even if it’s just going to a family party.

Robin

The traditional thing to do is to go to a Chinese restaurant (at one time, those would have been the only ones open) and maybe go to a movie.

Some Jews work that day, especially if they get overtime. Some volunteer to take the place of someone else who has to work on Christmas but would rather not.

I treat it pretty much as any other day off- I stay home, sleep in, and play computer games like the lazy bum that I am. I can’t run errands or anything like that, but that’s even better- no reason why anyone would expect me to do anything but play Civ (or whatever) all day. :smiley: Usually Mr. Neville and I do go to a Chinese restaurant for lunch or dinner.

Of course, I would take off “National Anne Neville Is A Fat Dumb Lazy Bitch Who Smells Worse Than A Roadkilled Skunk Day” and be happy to have a day off- a day off is a thing of joy, no matter why.

I do have family who observe Christmas. I call them (and have generally sent them Christmas presents by then), but that’s it- I wouldn’t visit them for Christmas morning or dinner even if I weren’t 3000 miles away, because it’s not my holiday any more, and I wouldn’t be comfortable celebrating it. I do visit them at other times of year that don’t coincide with Christmas or Easter (often not Thanksgiving, either- I keep kosher, so I can’t have turkey at their Thanksgiving dinner). Other converts to Judaism or Jews with Christians among their friends and family might do the same thing, or might do something different.

If Christmas falls during Hanukkah, as it sometimes does when the Jewish holidays are late, we light the menorah and exchange gifts on the evening of Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. We might have latkes one night or the other if we’ve planned ahead and gotten them from the store beforehand (it almost certainly won’t be open on Christmas).

Mr. Neville and I often go to Sonoma for a few days just before Christmas, especially when Christmas falls on or next to a weekend. It’s a great time to go, because it tends to be very uncrowded (though many wineries do close early). Things aren’t all decked out for Christmas at most wineries- there might be a tree and/or some tasteful decorations, but generally no Christmas music or huge gaudy displays like you see at shops. Plus, I live in a downtown shopping area, so the drivers get crazy looking for parking spaces just before Christmas. I’d rather deal with the drunk drivers in Sonoma or (if I’m unlucky) the ones who can’t drive in the rain than deal with crazed holiday-shopper drivers who are often unfamiliar with the area.

I don’t care if they have seders or not, as long as I don’t have to be around when they do it, they don’t advertise it as a Jewish seder and entice Jews into attending (with the intent of converting them to Christianity), and nothing that happens there results in somebody going out and harassing Jews.

Besides, as an ex-Christian Jew, I think communion is a Christian reinterpretation of the kiddush (blessing over wine) and motzi (blessing over bread) that we do at Shabbat dinners and many other celebrations. I don’t know if that’s true historically, though.

One word: Chinese food. ;j

Actually- I love Christmas day, because then the whole silly season is over 'til next year.

(Really don’t mean to offend, but it can be a tough time of year…)

One does wonder how some of the “war on Christmas” types, who get upset at us when we point out that holidays other than Christmas in December do exist, would deal with the situation we’re in- a huge, huge fuss is being made over a holiday we don’t celebrate.

good ole utah - the only place where a jew can be a gentile!