My parents only got physical once, and I deserved it. Another kid and I tore up some lady’s vegetable garden. Someone saw us and called our parents. When I walked in the door, my mother went into full attack mode. Being in junior high at the time, I was able to block most of the slaps. Then my stepfather cornered me in the bathroom and got in some licks. That was it.
Yeah, zombie thread, but I’ll respond.
My mother smacked me all the time when I was a kid. Almost every day when I was younger. And for just about anything she was angry with me about. I think the smacks became more infrequent as I got older, but I don’t know if I care to remember.
She did stop altogether when I was about 12 or so.
This was in the 90’s.
And if only I’d known when I was younger that this wasn’t normal or acceptable behaviour, maybe I could’ve gotten more help. I imagine the hitting is part of the reason I’m so screwed up today.
Which is maybe why I feel a bit sad when people say, “I was spanked as a child, and I turned out okay.” I’ve heard other people respond to that, “No, it’s not okay that you grew up thinking that it’s all right to hit children.”
Sometimes I would have preferred if I had been beaten to a pulp. My mother hit but not a lot; not much more than normal for the time when I grew up. What she was a master of was psychological torture. Do this or I’ll lock you in the basement; don’t do this or I’ll kill your pet. If she found out there was a shirt I treasured it ended up a rag, a favorite book and it got thrown away; anything she could do to belittle and sadden me. And don’t think these were threats; she did all that and more. Dad and Gramma (her mom) could control it to a degree but it left its scars. There are actually large parts of my youth that were spent living with relatives to keep me safe. And being the time it was, nothing got done and she never faced her problems. After Dad died what was left of mine at the house went either to trash or rummage sales. When she finally moved down with my brother a year or so back there was only one thing left that meant anything to me left.
I haven’t had any contact with her since shortly after Dad’s funeral. Did I have issues with all this? Sure; I sometimes joke that my Masters in Psych was because I wanted to know just how I got screwed up. But we survive somehow.
I got whipped with my Dad’s belt. I don’t think it happened too often, and I don’t remember what for. Most likely I was just being disrespectful or bratty.
One time when I was probably 12 or 13, I punched my younger brother. My Dad kicked the shit out of me for that, and I deserved it. I never hit anyone again.
UGH! I can only hope that someone who is as brutally abusive as that gets proper comeuppance and/or shamefully contrite.
kopek - It’s sad to hear you went through that. My mother would sometimes destroy my art projects when she was mad at me. It still hurts to think about it.
I got a paddlin’ in public school about 4th grade. I got it for fighting. The weird thing is I had it my stupid kid mind that I wanted to get in a fight, and started one for no good reason. Got a mild paddling for it from the principal. No big deal, and haven’t gotten in a fight since. I’m not saying the paddling was the main deterrent, just never saw the need for a fight after that and never found myself in one.