Thoughts About a Dying Cat

I knew on the way to the animal hospital what the result would be would be. I knew it the same way I knew that my wife was going to die in 2013, on Christmas vacation in Virginia with my parents and brother, when I got the call from my sister-in-law, telling me to “get in the car!” when my wife suddenly got rushed to the hospital. Susan did not make the trip the eight hour trip down to Virginia,and all I wanted was to do was get back home to Rhode Island to say goodbye to her before she died.

Tried to tell myself in the car, both times, that maybe it would not be death. And I cried all the way home from Virginia, and I cried from time to time through the hour wait for the vet to see Rudy - I knew he was going to tell me the sad truth.
I did get to spend some good time with Rudy before he died. He was upset, of course, in the carrier in the car on the way to the vet. But I poked my fingers through the bars and he rubbed his face all over them, and in the waiting room I opened the top of the carrier and scratched and rubbed and loved him, and did the same when we got to the exam room. And he was loving me, and he was awake and alive and his old self which he had not been for several days.

Then the vet came in, and that was the end. At least I got to say goodbye in person.

In the hours since then it has got me to thinking. The first couple of years when your wife dies, you struggle through and you try to go on. And eventually you do. It has been five years since Susan died. I would not say I have been depressed for the past couple of years, but I have not been myself. And in my day to day life, Rudy is my last tie to her. I feel like I am ready to be myself again.

Thank you Rudy.

Oh, god. That is so sweet. Rudy helped you to take the next step. Grief is such a cruel mistress at times. When it works, it works beautifully.
Rest in peace, Rudy.

A most touching tribute to a beloved bride and a treasured pet. You’ll get there, Mike Mabes. You’re wise to not fight the grief but to let it wash over you as it must. Too many people repress, with bad results.

My late husband passed more than 12 years ago, and I still occasionally feel pure stabs of loss in unexpected moments. The trick is to accept them – as you are doing.

My best to you, and I’m so very sorry about Rudy. It is terribly hard to lose the last connected pet.

Rudy lives! So does Bart, who lived to be 22! So does Patty, named after my mother. So does Mickey! He is alive and sitting on my lap.

Rudy had a good 16 years. First hanging out with us at Bond St in NYC, then roaming the neighborhoods in Warwick, RI. Once he was gone for a whole month before returning to us. He was the boss, if any cats came into his terrority, he chased them off. The last couple of years were quiet here in NJ, I could not let him go out. So he adapted and became a lap cat.

To steal from John Irving - Goodbye you Prince of New York and New Jersey, you King of Rhode Island

So sorry for your losses, Mike Mabes. I’ve lost so many dear friends and lovers over the years, and so many beloved kitties too. It never gets easy.

I’m sorry, Mike Mabes. I’ve learned it gets pretty complicated when a pet connected to a deceased person dies. My DH died unexpectedly last November (2018). This past April, I lost my avatar kitty Harley to lung cancer. He got me through my husband’s death and to lose him was horrible. It was an extremely rough patch, to say the least. But as I was going through all my memories with Harley, I remembered that we met when I was a shelter volunteer years ago. So I went back to the shelter and volunteer there every week. I’m also a foster mom to a lovely older kitty named Marlo who has all kinds of health issues. She’s had a rough life, but she’s still healthy enough to enjoy the good life she has now. Harley inspired all that. I still miss both my DH and Harley terribly. But at least something good is coming of all of it.

Very well said.
Very.

I am sorry about your loss.

What a beautiful tribute. I’m glad you had Rudy in your life.

I know it’s not the same, but I was bereft when I had to have my 15year-old lab put to sleep. For many years, my now-ex saw nothing good in me or in her. But she loved me and saw the good in me, and I loved her and saw the good in her. When I finally fled the marriage, I was forced to leave her behind because I couldn’t find a pet-friendly rental. My now-ex threatened to put her to sleep. Luckily, my landlord relented, and I was able to take care of her in her final months. I still think of her as my saving angel. (And I’m crying as I write this.)

Hats off to Rudy and all the pets who see us through tough times.

Thank you for the beautiful thing you shared. You have my total sympathy.

Now I’m going to dry my eyes, get off the Dope, and go upstairs and touch Baldrick and Princess and Petunia and little Molecule, and Ms Napier.

I lost my 16 year old Nick today, too. The trip to the vet, knowing it would be one-way. His 2nd stroke in a week, and it was time. I had him since he was 6 weeks old, a tiny kitten outside of Walmart. Free to good home. I think I gave him that.

StG

So sorry for your loss. My kitties will receive extra skritches this evening in memory of Rudy.

Jeez, you guys. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t think of anything profound to say at the moment so I’m just going to step out a moment and have a little sob for all the good pets that have gone.

Sorry for your friend, MM. At least he rallied so you could spend some quality final time with him. When we have to put one of our four-foots down we pay extra to have the doc come to the house and do it. We don’t want their last memories to be of the cold, sharp place, as one of our posters put it a while back.

So sorry Mike. My wife also died 5 years ago. It will be the anniversary of her death in a few days. Five years seems like a long time, but sometimes I will find something of hers, or remember something, and the pain is still there. I also lost a pet a couple of weeks ago. My best wishes to you.

Mike Mabes, I am sorry for both your losses; and StGermain, I am also sorry for yours.

I lost, this summer, one of the last cats my mother ever patted; she knew him as a kitten. When I brought him in to the vet., I hoped I’d be bringing him home alive; but it turned out that would not have been a kindness. His sister, also 16, is still going; I hope for quite a while yet.

I’m so sorry to all of you who’ve lost beloved pets. Between reading your stories, remembering my little Gracie who we lost almost exactly a year ago from kidney failure, and finding out yesterday that a lovely internet kitty I’ve been following for almost ten years passed away a couple of days ago, it’s a sad week for kitties. I think I need to go hug mine…