Thoughts on cell phones

Annoying, but not quite pit-worthy, so here we are.

I got a free* phone from Verizon. I actually kind of like my old one better, for a few reasons.

  1. My new one looks just like everyone else’s. I feel like such a trend whore.

  2. A phone is NOT a computer. It doesn’t need a start-up sound or a shut-down sound. Actually, neither does a computer. But anyway. My old one only made noise for two reasons: When it was ringing, or when I’d received a message. Anything more is a waste of battery power. Almost every time someone’s phone goes off in class, they have to first stop it from ringing, then get yelled at, then turn it off, so we all have to sit there and listen to its stupid shut-down tone.

  3. When cell phones were invented, did people forget how to use answering machines? Someone seems to think so. Here’s what answering machines sound like on land lines: “Hello, you’ve reached the Johnson family. Please leave a message with your name and number, and we’ll call you back as soon as possible. Thank you! beep [message goes here]”

This is an answering machine – oh excuse me, voice mail – on a cell phone: “Hello. [you start talking, then get cut off] This is Jamie, and I’m not answering my phone right now, [you realize it’s a machine, posing as a person… even funnier this time than it was the last 10000 times, right?] maybe because I’m too busy, or my phone ran out of batteries again, or I’m being eaten by a crocodile, or a huge gorilla is taking me out to dinner. Hahaha. Um… yeah… so… anyway. You could try me at home. My home number is, uh, fivefivefive[mumble – could be nine or one]foursevenseven. But um… if you want to leave a message then just, uh, leave a… message… after the beep, I guess. Hahaha. Okay, now what do I – just hang up? You mean… oh here it is.” And you’re waiting for the beep, but then an automated voice comes in: “If you’d like to page this person, press star. If you’d like to leave a callback number, press pound. Press 4 for more options. You may now leave a message for – Jamie – after the beep. beep [message goes here, if you’re still alive after all that]” I guess I can see how the paging thing might be useful. But if I wanted to page them, I would have called their pager. And I don’t know ANYONE who actually OWNS a pager anyway. If I want to leave a callback number, I’ll just say the number as part of the message. (“So, call me back at…”) But the last part is the worst. Who doesn’t know to leave a message after the beep? Even if you don’t know that, it almost always says so in the personalized greeting message. Come on! For some reason, the cell phone companies think we all forgot how to use answering machines when we bought our cell phones.

  1. Another thing my old phone did great, and my new one doesn’t do: When someone who is IN YOUR LIST calls you, the phone should be able to figure that out. If the caller ID system discovers that I’m getting a call from 555-9477, it should be able to scan through my list of stored numbers to find out that it’s Jamie calling, and display “Jamie.” Otherwise, I have to memorize everyone’s number in order to know who’s calling me. And if I’m going to do that, why would I even have a list of stored numbers.

*That’s “free” as in “free after you pay us $20”

I hate waiting for options and explanation before I can leave a message.

Something you didn’t mention: At work, people will call my cell. I don’t answer because I am meeting with someone, or I am on my land line. So, they don’ t a message via my cell, they hang up and call my office phone. After no answer on the office phone, they leave a message on the office phone! DUH! If you really need to reach me, can’t you figure out that:

  1. You decided thay my cell was the best shot, so you called that first.
    2 You skip the cell phone voice mail, the best backup plan available
  2. You called my office phone as a backup
  3. You leave a voice message on my office phone

Brilliant!

I just called Jamie. She’s pissed you made fun of her message.

Well, if it is currently normal work hours (or whatever hours you normally work) and I know you’re probably at the office, and you don’t answer your cell, I think it’s pretty logical to think that you have your cell phone off, so I should try your office phone. Unless I know that you’re one of those people whose cell phone is always on, in which case your not answering is a clear indication that you don’t want to talk to me.

My outgoing message says “I’m probably at home right now, so try [home number],” and people often completely ignore that.

“Hi, this is Bob. I’m in, so please leave a message and as soon as I’m out, I’ll call you back.”

As for the little ditties and animations when turning on and off, yep, they’re obnoxious, entirely not needed and disclose their Japanese origins and the obsession that trendy Japanese kids (that’s a smidge redundant, by the way) have with shiny things that make noise. (Even their kitchen appliances play musical tunes rather than just going “ding!” when done.)

Happily, if you dig into the menus (Oh yeah, phones don’t need graphical user interfaces!) you can usually find an option to select or entirely silence the startup/shutdown noise.

**TJdude825 ** - you’ll appreciate that my computers stay mute unless actually playing music or games, and that my cell phone doesn’t have a color display, camera or polyphonic ringer.

TJdude825 , I feel your pain. I just switched carriers and, as a result, I had to “upgrade” my phone. I really miss my old Samsung. No color screen, no obnoxious sounds, just the necessary functions.

Now I’ve got a fancy Motorola. The colors make the screen harder to read. You can forget reading anything in direct bright light. At least 3 or 4 menu screens before you get to anything useful, like your phonebook. And it has a camera and a video recorder. :smack: The only thing I like about it is that it’s smaller. :rolleyes:

Don’t even get me started on the difference between a digital network (old phone) and the GSM network (new phone). :dubious: