Thoughts on possible dog-ownership - long, rambling

In My Humble Opinion
1

As I’ve mentioned on the boards a time or two, my son, Dweezil, has autism.

I’ve thought for some time that a dog would be a good thing for him: you pick the right dog, treat it at all decently (I know I oversimplify - a dog is a big commitment and big responsibility), and you’ve got a loving companion who doesn’t care if you’re a bit of an odd duck. Typo Knig, who is not a dog person but doesn’t loathe them either, is beginning to think I’m right.

We don’t need a specially-trained service dog - my son is not someone who wanders, he’s verbal, etc. - all the benefits of one of the specially-trained dogs aren’t necessary for him so we’d rather not go that route. Let the wonderful people who train those dogs concentrate their efforts for kids who truly need such a special animal. I think we would benefit from a fairly mellow dog who needs nothing more than garden-variety obedience training - the sort any dog should have.

The kicker here, though, is that Dweezil is very nervous around dogs. If an animal is really hyper he backs off in fear, even when the dog is as friendly as the day is long. There’s a definite combination of attraction and fear there though, which leads me to believe he might learn to overcome it if we do our homework.

Anyway - we would love to hear your thoughts on:
[ul]
[li]What we might try to do to help Dweezil get over his fear before committing to getting a dog (we do NOT want a scenario where we get the dog, hope for the best, and have to rehome it if we discover Dweezil cannot get over the fear)[/li][li]What breed(s) we might consider when looking for mellowness[/li][li]What breed(s) combine lower allergen potential with mellowness (we had a miniature schnauzer growing up, but she would not have been a good pet for Dweezil)[/li][li]What we might look for if we go the rescue route (what if we meet Doctor Jekyll at the pound but Mister Hyde comes home with us); the allergy issues and personality requirements lead me to think we may need to go with a specific breed but we’re not ruling out a pound animal[/li][li]Any other input you might have[/li][/ul]
This - if it happens at all - is quite a long time away, probably a year or more. We want to take our time and be absolutely sure it’s the right thing for us before we even mention the possibility to the kids.

If we do go for a specific breed, do most breeders take back dogs who don’t work out? That would obviously be our first option if we got a dog and, despite all our homework, it turned out to be a bad addition to the family. If a breeder winds up reclaiming a dog, do they typically make those dogs available for purchase to someone who might like a slightly older dog? (if we think we’d do better with an adult of a specific breed).

Oh - and if we do ultimately purchase a dog from a breeder, any thoughts on how much a purebred dog would cost? Hundreds? thousands? I’m sure it’ll vary by region and breed (the ones from Nigeria are cheaper of course :wink: ) but if you have any recent anecdotes along the lines of “I spent 500 dollars for a Chihuahua” that’d be great.

2

You might try a dog park if you have one in your area, this is a good place to see dogs engaging in all kind of behaviors. As to a breed my poodle is very mellow and good with children (not all poodles are) and is as hypo allerginic as dogs get,It’s something to do with the hair of lack of dander.

3

I wasn’t that comfortable around dogs until we got one. I’d say start with a young one. They’re not threatening, very cuddly, and he’ll grow into it. Having your own if far different from meeting a dog on the street, and I bet he’ll be far more comfortable with strange dogs after being with one.

As for breeds, the service dog we trained and who we now have as a breeder is a golden, and she’s the most affectionate thing in the world, including strangers. We’re thinking of putting her through therapy dog training when her breeding days are over. She goes with my wife when she gives talks about guide dogs to schools, and she loves every kid. Of course she’s specially bred, but I know other goldens who are pretty good also.

You might want to make sure they bond. Our first dog was for our daughter, but she went to school and my wife worked at him, so he became my wife’s dog.

I was allergic as a kid, but I’m not affected by either of our dogs. I think it depends on the person.

As for finding a dog, be creative. We got our first dog from people running a business who didn’t have time for him, especially since he needed people. Since at that time I didn’t know if I’d be allergic, we made sure we could bring him back. That was 10 years ago. Our other dogs we raised as guide dogs. I’m sure you don’t need an expensive purebred.

4

I spent $300 for a golden retriever with papers 4 years ago.

Obviously, this breed is not hypo-allergenic :slight_smile:

Do you have a local shelter? Can you go there and have him play with dogs?

Also…even if you don’t want a trained dog have you considered finding a working dog trainer and asking if your son could interact with the dogs that the trainer is training? (not a local dog training school - I mean a trainer that trains companion/working dogs) Those dogs might be a lot more mellow than you’ll find at the dog park (a good suggestion nonetheless) or the shelter.

Or, do you have a local hospital that has a therapy dog program? You could call and see if your son could interact with dogs in that environment. Therapy dogs are to be mellow as well.

Also…google “autism dogs programs” to find a wealth of links regarding dogs for autism. Even if you don’t want to get one of these dogs, one of those programs might give you help finding the right breed or letting your son hang out with the dogs.

Good luck - and thank you for being so diligent about your research before getting a dog!

5

Best for temperment, Newfoundland. Huge, drooly, and bad for allergies but sweet as the day is long and probably one of the mellowest of breeds. They are quite protective of their family members and manage to do it without being viscious or aggressive.

Any poodle or poodle mix is going to probably be hypo allergenic, but they can be hyper, high strung and bad with children.

A rescue dog can be a great option! Remember to get a young dog, preferably from a group that fosters them out to homes with children. MOST groups will allow you a trial period of a few days to see if the new addition will work out.

6

I was terrified of dogs as a child, I can’t imagine why because from the time I was born my family included a gentle and loving Irish Setter. But my fear stayed with me until my teenage years when my folks got a Springer Spaniel puppy. Who can resist such a thing?

So for the fear, I recommend a puppy. Puppies are a full-time job, but a puppy from a good breeder (if you can afford the time and money) would be your best bet, because it’s as close as you can get to a guarantee of good temperament and early socialization.

Breeds: labs and retrievers are always used as therapy and guide dogs for a reason!

Although I totally and completely love my own rescued dog, I wouldn’t recommend it for your situation because they can be unpredictable, sometimes in ways that aren’t apparent for months and months.

And yes, a good breeder should absolutely take the pup back, especially if you explain your situation.

7

Not me, for sure! They’re adorable. Actually it’s funny you mention Springers. We had one when I was a young child and he was a great dog. My most recent canine encounter was with a Springer just 2 days ago. At a ski resort, Sunday, I was seated, bending over and fumbling with my boot, unaware of who/what was around me. Then this unknown object was RIGHT IN MY FACE :eek:. “Gah!!!” said I, as I sat bolt upright. “Wag” said the tail at the other end of the intruder, which turned out to be a dog’s snout. “Sorry” said the person on the other end of the leash attached to the intruder. I instantly realized it was just an enthusiastic and happy dog who wanted to make friends, and I was glad to comply.

This incident would have had Dweezil squealing with fear, unfortunately :frowning:

Thanks for all the thoughts and suggestions, please feel free to keep tossing out ideas - lots I hadn’t thought of at all! Dog parks, trainers, contacting autism dog groups for their ideas…

A poodle would be good if we found the right one - I don’t know any poodles so I’m not up on their temperament. One “choose a dog breed” site listed that as a hypoallergenic breed but, notably, did not include the phrase “doesn’t usually bite” (it did say that about some others including bichon frise and wheaten terriers).

The idea of a puppy is a good one, as in non-threatening. If we did that, we’d probably try to time its arrival during the summertime so it had companionship all day at first (any pet would have to be alone in the house for about 6 hours a day and I don’t like the thought of doing that to a puppy).

8

I like the idea of having him work with therapy dogs to see if he can overcome his fear. To be certified a therapy animal, a calm temperment is a must. Then, once he’s more comfortable around dogs, you could look at adoption. Unlike most of the people here, I’d go with an older dog rather than a puppy. Especially breeds like labs tend to have very long puppyhoods, and he might get frustrated with a dog that chews his stuff and bounces around for two years.

My step-father’s grandson is autistic, and he has a cat and also does a horse program for autistic kids. He’s very concerned about the horses, particularly those that have been rescued from abusive situations. The family has a dog, but he’s more into his cat and the horses. When we speak on hte phone, he always asks me about my horses and other animals. He’ll talk more to me than to most people because of our common bond with animals.

Good luck in finding the right situation.

StG

9

I’m a huge fan of goldens - primarily because of their temperment. I am a big dog fan, and have not found another breed that has quite the same temperment. (Many labs are close.) But realize that any dog will bite if provoked. When we got our present dog 10 years ago, in some ways it was more effort to train our youngest kid (6) not to surprise the dog, get in her face, act subordinate, poke her, etc.

I apologize for being very ignorant about autism - and I believe there is some variability within autistic people - but I assume you are very comfortable that Dweezil will be able to avoid provoking a dog?

I can imagine the right dog, providing endless affection and loyalty, could be a wonderful thing for your son.

I have known some awesome standard poodles. I think that at least to some extent, many neurotic poodles are that way because of their owners. Poodle-people include a significant number of strange birds indeed.

10

Giving it some more thought…you might actually be best getting a dog trained for autism. Otherwise, you are going to have to do all of the same training yourself.

No dog is going to be really ok with a kid who “freaks out” (sorry sorry if that is offensive…but you know what I mean, right?), regardless if it’s your son’s squeals of joy or him being upset. It’s either going to make the dog excited (and then probably make more Dweezil excited in turn) or make the dog scared, which is not a good situation for dogs. It could turn the dog skiddish or exciteable.

But a dog who has been trained already to deal with autism, I assume, has been trained to sit and be calm when any sort of “freak out” happens. And that is both helpful to the dog, the kid and the people around the kid. I mean, it could seriously reduce the length or frequency of any sort of excited reaction that Dweezil might have.

If I were you, I would seriously look into some of those dogs for autistic kids programs. I would actually be happy to make a small donation to your family to get such a dog if this is the route you decided to go. I am a true believer in the power of dog + man.

11

Yes - they’re supposed to be wonderful dogs - every one I’ve met has been a pleasure to be around. The main reason we might not be able to go with a golden is the allergy situation. That’s something we’ll explore further over the next few months.

Yes - there’s a lot of variability. One little girl I met recently loves dogs and their family is on a waiting list for a formally-trained service dog; she’s nonverbal but very gentle. My nephew is more verbal but I think would not be safe with a dog (he frightens me sometimes). My son is high-functioning to the point where you’d just think he was kind of strange if you saw him on the street. He’s very, very gentle around animals and I think would probably be OK, provocation-wise (though once we see him interacting more, we’d obviously re-evaluate to make sure he would not harm or provoke a dog due to a misplaced fear reaction).

Yes, that’s exactly what we’re hoping for. He doesn’t make friends easily, and is a target for teasing/bullying if the kids don’t simply ignore him. A nonjudgemental pet might be terrific for him. Well, the guinea pigs think he’s OK but they’d love anyone who fed them :slight_smile:

Ain’t that the truth! I once had the displeasure of sharing a house with a lady whose pet dog (a cocker spaniel) was the foulest-tempered animal I’ve ever met. And it was all because the dog was not properly socialized, nor trained not to react to people correctly. 6 months, and the dog snarled at me every time she saw me.

12

You didn’t mention - how old is Dweezil?

We have allergies in our house, and probably shouldn’t have a dog. But we manage things other ways - no carpet, mattress covers, etc. And combined with the proper medications things are fine.

Here’s an off the wall thought - how about a rat? My son loved his. Not sure if they are affectionate the same way as dogs, but they are intelligent and will interact.

13

I’d caution you about getting ANY dog at this point. Between Dweezil’s fear of dogs and allergies, you are looking at heartbreak all over the place. There are NO hypoallergenic dogs - only dogs that shed less or more.

Perhaps try dog-sitting for an adult, kid-savvy mellow dog and see how things work out?

14

Do you know anyone with a dog that is older and calm? I would suggest having that person bring the dog over to your house and having the dog and the person interact with your son. Each time the visit can be longer and eventually you can maybe have an overnight “slumber party” with the dog. I would suggest doing this with any dog you know that fits the bill of calm. Hopefully this will help your son get used to dogs in his environment.

Once you feel confident that most of his issues with dogs are under control then would be the time to look for a dog for the family. I’d suggest going with a breed rescue group, they often have dogs that are past the puppy stage and are calmer. Plus most rescue groups foster dogs in home so are able to give you a much better read on a dogs temperament. I would suggest getting a dog that has been fostered with children so the dog is used to random outburst and activity.

Good luck!

15

Dweezil is 12, nearly 13.

Rats: I’ve heard they can be great pets but, well, they really oog me out :slight_smile: And since I expect I’ll want to interact with a pet, that’s a distinct drawback. We do actually have guinea pigs right now and Dweezil likes them OK, but ignores them much of the time. I think they don’t oog me out mainly due to lack of tails (I dislike gerbils and like hamsters, also, so I think it’s the tails that do it).

Good point. And we would approach any dog-acquisition with a great deal of caution. We’ll be exploring the allergies in the near future (he’s overdue for a recheck on his food allergies and we’ll discuss pets with the doctor also). The fear issues will also have to be explored and - if possible - dealt with/resolved; if we can’t resolve them, we absolutely would not get a dog, as the whole point would be moot :wink: This is definitely something that is a long-term goal at best. Actually, even if we do feel like we can address the fear issues, we may well decide a dog isn’t appropriate for our household.

16

How sweet of you to offer such a thing!

We’ll certainly keep in mind the possibility of a formally-trained dog, though it may not be necessary in our case. Dweezil doesn’t tend to have the outbursts (verbal or physical) that some kids with autism do so that sort of extra training might not be needed, though certainly a dog with a calmer disposition would be a requirement. Once we are able to find some good interaction-experiences for him, we’ll be better able to judge what to do.

My impression of autism-trained dogs is that they learn to specifically intervene when a child wanders, or begins to zone out. Many of them are actually physically tethered to their child (that would be the case with the little girl I mentioned, who has a habit of escaping and roaming).

Again - I want to thank everyone who has weighed in - I’m getting a lot of good ideas and food for thought. As a result, so far I’ve googled “therapy dogs” and actually found some interesting-looking local hits, places I can at least contact for further info.

17

If you do decide to look at poodles because of the allergy issue, look at standard poodles. In my experience the smaller the poodle, the more nervous they are, while the standards were all very laid-back, affectionate dogs.

Goldens are awesome!

I hesitate to recommend a rescued or shelter dog - you are in a situation where you really need to know the dog’s history, and a rescue or shelter just can’t provide that. They will provide as much as they know, but what they don’t know can be trouble.

I know you have a lot of reseach and soul searching to do before this idea becomes a reality, but I wish you the best of luck with it!

18

My 12 yr old son has Asperger’s syndrome. When he was around kindergarten age, he was starting to act scared of dogs, jittery just being in the room with one. After thinking about it for a while, we decided to get a puppy. Our thinking was that he was bigger than a puppy and that would help him feel in control, and we could teach him how to act around a dog. We ended up getting a terrier mutt that was about 5 months old, and he helped with all the various dog owning chores (housebreaking, training). He really liked her, and it helped dissipate some of his fears about dogs.

But I had hoped that the puppy would be a special friend, like the OP said, and that just wasn’t working out. The puppy had bonded first with my husband, and for her, there was no one else. So we looked around, and did some research, and this time we decided to get a Newfoundland from rescue.

Our Newf was somewhere between 12-18 months old when we got him, and for the first few weeks we thought he was going to have to go back to the shelter. It took us all a while to adjust to each other, but almost 3 years later he is the special dog ‘friend’ that I had hoped my son would have.

Temperamentally, Bill (the Newf, named ‘Wilcox’ by the shelter but Wilcox is far too dignified of a name for a big down to earth lug like this dog) is very mellow. He wants to know where every member of the family is at all times, and if the kids are upstairs, he will lie at the bottom of the stairs where he can’t miss seeing them come down. If someone’s gone, he’s facing the door, waiting for them to come home. His herding mentality shows with the little dog, and sometimes with groups of little kids, but he never bites or even mouths - he just guides the kids/dog in the direction he thinks they are supposed to go.

As far as practical things, Bill is 125 lbs, so for the first few years he took the kids for a walk, not vice versa. But they’re 12 and 16 now, so they have grown to where they can more easily physically control him. He doesn’t really eat much; a 40 lb bag of dog food will last us at least 6 weeks and usually more like 8. He likes to run and play but is quite happy with limiting that to outside play. When he’s inside he’s usually very calm, and the biggest danger is the wagging tail sweeping the tables clean. The hair is an issue, and we have to vacuum every day.

Newfs are known for having heart and hip problems, so it might be worth considering buying a purebred puppy from a reputable breeder. (We decided that we would accept the risk and go with a shelter dog and so far it has not been a problem; he has no detectable problems as of now.) The breeders that I spoke to sold their puppies anywhere from $700-$1000, and they were usually spoken for before the litter was even born.

I’d be happy to provide any more information if it helps you; I feel silly gushing about Bill like this but I guess I really am attached to that dog myself!

19

I have a Standard Poodle (and a doberman, Alaskan malamute and English Setter), and she’s a wonderful dog! However, she’s very…enthusiastic. She wants to bounce around when I get home, because she* loves me so much!!!* She bounces when she plays with the other dogs because she loves them so much!!! She doesn’t have a bad bone in her body, and she’s very loving. And poodles don’t shed, but they do mat if they aren’t clipped close.

StG