My youngest son and the only child left at home with me is 13. I’ve talked about him plenty on here, with his health problems and recent skull surgery, and the extreme bullying that he has experienced at school for several years. Although he is, for a fact, very cute and funny and kind and awesome, he does suffer from low self-esteem and all that goes along with whatever problems that he has faced in his young life, which have been a lot for someone his age. He has always yearned, and I mean yearned for a dog, even though we already have two cats. I’ve always said no to having a dog- the level of commitment and work it takes to have one truly astounds me. My stomach hurts just thinking about it. It’s like getting married or something, really. And yet, here I am, thinking about it! Oh god!
I think that having a dog would really help him with his self-esteem and other problems. It would be something besides me that can be with him, give him unconditional love, and teach him to be responsible and less self-centered. I think that it would be really, really good for him. And of course, making him very happy after all he’s gone through lately is a big motivator for me, too.
I’m scared. What if it goes horribly awry and I get the worst dog in the world? What if it has huge behavior problems and we can’t fix them? What if it gets really sick and needs thousands of dollars worth of medicine and I can’t afford it? What if it attaches to me instead of him and then I have a dog and he doesn’t? It seems like there’s so many things that can go wrong and it makes me very nervous to think of having a dog. And yet, you see everyone with dogs, even homeless people on the street, so it probably can’t be *that *bad, right? Something inside tells me this is a good thing to do for him, but I’m still somewhat freaking out about the idea.
What about you- do you think it’s a good idea? Of course, any dog that we get would be from a shelter, so that part’s already decided. I’d want a medium-sized dog, maybe some sort of terrier, that’s still young but already fixed and house-trained.
It’s going to be a gamble, just like most of life. If you’ve not had a dog around, maybe take a friend’s in or visit overnight. It’s not the same, but might give you a hint. After the holiday craziness, probably.
Terriers are quite active dogs. I wonder if what a lab/retriever/terrier/basset mix would be like?
Is your son well enough to take responsibility for the day to day care? Walking, feeding, picking up poop? If so, I think it’s a wonderful idea. If not, it’s just going to be another burden on you.
If your son is up for it, check into agility dog classes - might be a great way to make new friends!
I have 6 dogs. They aren’t all that much work. I love my dogs more than almost any people. However…your child will probably be gone off to college in about 5 years. That will leave you about 10 years left with the dog. Now, you will grow to love this dog, I’m sure. But are you willing to have a companion for the next 15 years?
We had a roommate earlier this year with two dogs, and he got attached to one of them, and he was very good and consistent about walking her and playing with her. And he already knows about picking up poop and is willing to do it- we live in an apartment so it’s not an option and he knows that.
As for him going off to college and me being left with the dog another 10 years, I don’t know- he’s more like a technical school or military kind of guy, I think.
If he has “always yearned, repeat yearned for a dog” and it’s in your means to care for one, and the poor kid has dealt with a lot including relentless bullying, i think he should be allowed to have a dog. A dog is a responsibility, but your son only has one chance in his life to have a childhood companion he has always yearned for. All of the things you mentioned a dog will bring your son are worth whatever added burden it may bring imo.
Please consider adopting a retired greyhound. They’re probably bigger than what you had in mind, but they are FANTASTIC dogs, and they are quite willing to just hang out with their people for long periods of time. They DO need exercise, and you have to keep them inside most of the time, but they are very affectionate. Some greys are good with cats, some aren’t.
There’s something that you need to know about having dogs and cats together. Dogs regard cat turds as tasty treats. Uck.
Dogs are great for many of the issues that your son faces. Also, my local Humane Society allows people to buy gift certificates for a dog, so you don’t have to wrap one up in a box with holes in it. Or you could make your own gift certificate.
If you’re worried about the dog being a good fit for your family, I would go through a non-shelter rescue organization (that often get their pets from shelters!) that fosters dogs in homes. They may have a better idea of what would fit with your lifestyle, your son could meet it and significantly interact with it beforehand, etc. Some shelters also have foster programs that might be able to match you with the appropriate dog too!
You haven’t had a dog before? Here’s a link to Dogs 101 (Animal Planet website). It has videos and info on choosing the best breed for your lifestyle.
I’ve always liked medium to large size dogs, but my friend has a Yorkie-Schnauzer mix who’s an absolute joy – friendly and lovable and not yappy at all.
Kudos for preferring a shelter dog. Our Boomer (lab mix) was a stray who came to us when he was about a year old. He was already housebroken and leash trained and had no bad habits. We have a retriever-poodle mix now, 60 pounds, loves to cuddle. We got her when she was two months old. Since we’re both home all the time, housebreaking was easy. We’ve never used a crate but many people swear by them, especially if you’re away from home a lot.
I’ve looked at local rescue places, and their prices probably put them out of my reach. They often want $200 or more, while the shelter has many dogs right now for $15, already neutered and shot-ed. I know that money shouldn’t be my primary concern, but it does make a compelling case for the shelter.
Sorry, I completely missed the last part of your OP that said you’d be getting a shelter dog. If you haven’t seen it yet, consider petfinder.com, they have lots of animals from various rescues/shelters. And thank you for thinking about the pups that need rescued from a shelter OR a private organization!
I’m going to second the suggestion of a rescue group. You get people who have an idea of the dog’s personality and can choose one that will fit with your son’s. They are generally honest because they really want this to be a life long match. OTOH we’ve had reports here of some rescue groups that are a little over zealous in their qualifying of homes so YMMV. {Damnit took too long to type, shelter is great too, just try and spend some time with whichever dog you want to bring home. The longer you can spend the more likely their true personality shows}
Good luck and yes, get the boy a dog!
Also seconding the hide the cat poop recommendation. Either in a room or closet with a cat door or a covered litterbox.
Or you could look at your local Kijijji or other classified ads to find a “Free to Good Home” dog - like an older dog who is already house- and leash-trained.
Just make sure it’s already spayed/neutered and all the vaccinations are up to date and the people can provide the paperwork as proof.
Oh, another source is your local vet. They already know you as a good cat owner - let them know you’re looking for a dog. They might know of a client that has to get rid of a dog for some reason.
I would like to also recommend getting the boy and his dog a couple of training sessions.
They are relatively inexpensive at places like Petco and Petsmart- maybe one to two hundred dollars for a 6 week course, but would go a long way toward developing a good relationship between the two with the bonus of having a well mannered pet.
One thing to consider is if you have a support system for the dog in place for when you want to travel. Even an overnight stay somewhere requires you have someone who can let the dog out.
We had two Boston terriers (one now) and since we had no family in the area it cost us A LOT whenever we took vacation. Boarding dogs runs around $30/day. We were lucky and found a local dog sitter who would sit the pair for $30/day. Still, that cost us an additional $150 for a 4 night stay somewhere.
Proper vet maintenance costs a lot for dogs too these days. Check ups, shots, eye problems, ear infections = $$$$$.
Don’t forget the wear & tear on your house too. A nice lawn becomes your dogs toilet. Wet/muddy footprints everytime they come inside from rain or snow.
And god forbid the thing isn’t properly house trained. Dog urine in carpet is awful.
For someone who’s lived with two dogs up till a month ago for the past 10 years, I still consider myself not a dog person.
Nothing wrong with a shelter dog; in fact, that may be what some people mean when they urge you to rescue. The dog I just adopted was on death row at a shelter… but had been pulled by a rescue group because she was about to be put down. She was fostered for three months before I got hold of her. In my case, the rescue groups are actually less expensive than the local shelter.
I think people just, in general, don’t want you to buy a dog from a pet store (because that supports puppy mills) and, unless you plan to show the dog, buying an expensive purebred from the breeder is generally a waste of money. Rescue or shelter, makes no difference to me. I’m all for getting your kid a dog, but make sure it’s a dog you’ll love too, because it’ll end up being your dog.
