Thread of Suckness, +5

Pinkeye sucks. Properly known as conjunctivitis, it’s an inflammation of the membrane covering the eye, making it pink instead of clear. In some cases, like mine for example, the eye oozes out a lot of nasty gunk that needs to be washed out periodically. This morning my eye was completly crusted shut with dried crap. I was supposed to get antibiotic eyedrops last night, but the pharmacy fucked up and it wasn’t ready until today. Side effects may include itchiness, things falling off my head, and death. So far I haven’t noticed anything falling off, but I’m keeping my other eye open on my pinkeye.

My boss sucks. Soon I will be working somewhere else, but I still have to put up with this asshole for now. He doesn’t really do anything against me personally, but the other day I heard him making gay jokes about the movie Brokeback Mountain, about two cowboys who fall in love and try to hide it for fear of their lives. He said things like, “I can’t believe the trailers for that movie. Children might see that shit.” Another guy, a Mexican immigrant, tells me he overheard the boss saying he was in favor of vigilante border patrols to stop Mexicans from taking our jobs.

The XBox 360 sucks. Having two different versions, one of which includes a hard drive and other things most people would want, is a shitty idea. One store manager I talked to said there was about a 15% return rate due to defects. That may be an exaggerated figure, but the fact that he even commented on it doesn’t speak well of Microsoft’s quality control. I’m glad I decided to wait out the initial rush.

I don’t get enough sleep, which sucks. If I try to go to bed at a reasonable time, I wake up thinking about other things that suck, like my slowly encrusting eyeball, dickhead bosses, and fucking video game snafus. If I go to bed when I’m totally falling asleep on my controller or keyboard, I am hella tired the next day. So I have to try to go to sleep at an hour somewhere between moderately unreasonable and fucking ridiculous.

There might be some other thing that sucks, but I can’t think of it right now. That sucks.

Life sucks, then you blow.

Spit or swallow?

No thanks, I don’t think I’d like fellatio from the guy with crusty, goo-dripping eyeballs. Nothing personal, you know.

I think you’d be safe, unless his eye goop dripped on your dick and then your dick somehow touched your eye. Which is improbable, but not impossible.

Hey, baby, my dick is big! I’m always accidentally poking myself in the eye!

It’s not really so much an issue of disease transmission, though, as of just plain ickiness.

Some people are probably into that sort of thing. I bet there’s even a website about it. No, I don’t have a cite. Do you really want one?

Oh, and my eye is better today. I’ve been practicing giving people the Evil Eye, not to be confused with the Disgusting Oozing Eye.

Do you gift-wrap it first? :dubious: