It doesn’t have anything to do with “being worthy.” He just wanted to learn a little about the recipients, hence the “personal” aspect. This wasn’t a contest to see who could write the saddest story, thus deserving the baby food more than others; it was an attempt to connect with other posters, GOD DAMNIT. People jumped all over his shit for trying to do something nice.
Yeah, true…I guess I just don’t see the Internet quite that way. Just seems hard to get warm fuzzies from a computer screen. But then it’s probably no different than when you send money to a kid in a far off country and you get back some thank you letter…you don’t really know the person in that situation either, and yet the warm fuzzies are there. I’m bad with warm fuzzies, though.
I’m sorry you were derailed from doing a good thing by a complete fucking asshole. Please reconsider though, as we both know, there are a ton of Dopers that could use a hand.
yup.
THAT thread was started as a kindness, you fucked it up by insulting the OP. Fuck you.
You would look to get a personal connection for the gift the same way that I came to the Dope to say something about my husband’s death rather than just standing on the street corner screaming it. Many of us feel the urge to connect, to find people we can help directly, and sure, to bring some joy or some relief to someone we feel we “know,” to someone whose thanks we can get so we can think, “I did someone good today. I made someone’s life better today. And I know because they told me so.”
You know what, the end result no matter what is going to be that a baby gets the formula, and there aren’t any undeserving babies. It’s just a few cans of formula, it’s not a billion dollar bequeath. Don’t be so pompous about it. Just take it to a women’s shelter. That will be your good deed. You dont need to milk it by having people write you essays on why they’re more deserving than someone else.
Maybe she just wants to feel like there is some sort of connection between her and the recipient. Maybe she’d like to help out someone in a community she cares about and she doesn’t feel a particular connection to her geographic location. Who gives a shit as to why she may or may not be doing it? All I see is she is trying to do something nice.
Br’er Lapin wasn’t being pompous at all. She merely asked if anyone was in need of baby formula. I didn’t notice the OP exhibiting any kind of self-importance. You’d have to stretch what the OP said pretty far and dig REALLY deep to misconstrue Br’er Lapin as coming off arrogant. Yea, she’s not giving away a billion dollars, but it’s a kind gesture nonetheless. Who cares about the value of a donation? What ever happened to, “It’s the thought that counts”?
Why question her motive? Totally unnecessary.
Like I said before, it was never meant to be a contest - just a chance to connect with other posters on a more personal level. Why can’t you people at least ATTEMPT to be decent human beings once in a while? Fake it; I don’t care. Just refrain from being nasty, especially in response to someone OFFERING TO GIVE AWAY SOMETHING FOR FREE TO THOSE WHO NEED IT. Wow.
IMO, you’re missing the point. He’s complaining about threadshitting whilst not realizing he himself originated it in that particular thread (he may realize it now, I’m really not sure). Was he a douche in that thread? Yeah. But he not only doubled that, he quadrupled it by starting a whole 'nother pit thread about threadshitting and how it’s a bad thing. WTF?
Br’er Lapin, who the fuck do you think you are starting a thread to donate something expensive like that? Get the hell off our boards. We don’t need your type. You’re obviously a troll. Go fuck yourself. Thinking you’re all that because you’re trying to donate something. Not just donate it, but pay for shipping to get it to someone that could really use it. Screw you double for that, buddy. Tool.
Actually, I donate stuff every now and then on Freecycle. I have to say, people share some weird and sad stuff when they want something you’re offering. It’s sad, but at the same time nice to pick out someone that you think is really in need of it.
Except that she didn’t merely ask anything. She asked with conditions that made the distribution of the formula more drawn out and complex than it needed to be.
I’m not saying she’s an evil, heinous, selfish person out to make herself feel superior by holding this over the heads of the unfortunate. I’m just saying that it’s not unreasonable to question motives when someone puts conditions on giving for a charitable sake that make it more difficult for the unfortunate to get a needed resource (which kind of goes against the point of charity in the first place).
Edited to add example:
Merely asking: “Hey, does anyone need formula? I have some.”
Asking with conditions: “Hey, does anyone know anyone personally that’s really poor or unfortunate or in need of formula that will swear on a stack of bibles not to sell it for drugs or booze?” or just reference the linked thread.
I’ll tell you what. If the OP gives it away to a food shelter instead of making a contest out of it or needing to “connect” with whoever she deems worthy of her formula, I will give away an equal amount of formula to a food shelf in my area. Is that nice enough for you?
My wife used to supervise a lot of food shelves in the Twin Cities Metro area. I can assure the OP that anyone who gets formula from a food shelf will need it. She might not get letters and pictures from the family adopting her 6 boxes of formula, but she will feed babies, and that’s what matters.
What do you say, Br’er? If you give it to a food shelf or a women’s sheltre, I will match the donation. You have a chance to double the amount you’re giving away. What’s more important to you, playing George Costanza, Philanthropist over a few boxes of baby formula or doubling the number of babies you can feed?