I pit **TicketMaster **for being a complete sack of shit.
A $28 ticket, after “fees,” is $70.25 because of “building facility,” “convenience,” and “delivery” fees. Oops, I forgot the “order processing charge” of $4.50. My bad. Assholes. Just tell me the price up front, I don’t give a fuck what each penny is going towards, I really don’t. I can afford it, but don’t try to be sneaky lying spineless bastards and tell me the ticket is $28, because it isn’t. And I KNOW it doesn’t cost $20 to send me a fucking ticket in the mail, try 34 cents. Assholes. Wait, how much is it going to cost to use the restroom at the concert? Can I pay for that too please? Don’t forget the janitor’s tip, please include that in the cost of my ticket. Mother fuckers.
Does a taxi driver say his ride is 2 cents per mile, plus gas, plus tire wear, plus money for air fresheners and dispatcher’s fees? Fuck no, if you tried that shit in person you would get a busted lip.
Fuck you TicketMaster. I’m going to buy the ticket because you are the only fuckers that sell tickets for this show and I want to go *that *badly, but I hate you. I hate you so much that I pit you. I hope you get herpes from a goat and die.
Why is it costing you $20 to send via the mail? Is that an American thing? It’s free here in Canada. That’s a ridiculous number of additional fees.
Having said that, I also despise Ticketmaster and try to avoid dealing with them as much as possible. There are a handful of independent ticket distributors scattered around the city that I try to buy from.
Do you mind me asking what you’re buying the ticket for?
I’ve been reading good things about that tour. Considering ticket prices today, $70 for a seat doesn’t sound too bad. Not that it makes the markup any more palatable. Why don’t they publish the cost of a ticket that INCLUDES all of those fees?
I hate TicketBastard with every fiber of my being. I’ve been getting my tickets from them via e-mail and that they tack a fee on for that INSTEAD of mailing them to me, along with all the other fees just pisses me off.
Why don’t they publish the true cost of the ticket? I’ll tell you why.
If I see a ticket for the Radiohead concert being advertised for $120, I might think, “Man, I love Radiohead, but $120? I dunno if I can swing that for a concert, what with travel costs and all…”, and that’ll be the last I think about it.
If I see a ticket for the Radiohead concert being advertised for $50, I think “Wow, fifty bucks for a Radiohead ticket? They’re one of my favorites, I’ve never seen 'em live, and that’s not a bad price…with a fifty dollar ticket I can swing the travel costs…I can probably get that Friday off so I can make the drive…”, and I start making plans in my head and getting myself stoked that I’m going to get to see Radiohead — at which point I click “Purchase” and find out it’s actually going to cost me $120. Now, because of all the planning I just did, plus the initial excitement of deciding I could actually go see Radiohead live, I’m a lot more likely to consider dropping the extra $70 to make it happen. Then, of course, I’ll buy the ticket from Ticketmaster, because I have to, because they’re a goddamned monopoly.
So, yeah, they’re fucking bastards, but there are methods and goals to their fucking bastardhood. Still, the “plus applicable fees” trick is so commonplace with online purchases — “Only $5.95 plus taxes, S&H, membership fee and convenience fee” — that most people probably know to check the final total before getting their hearts set on anything.
Wow. That bad? I try to avoid using Ticketmaster, but recently was rather outraged at paying $51.0125 per “$35.00” ticket for Morrissey. And I thought a 50%+ markup over the face value was bullshit. I had no idea they were doing 100%+. Bastards.
Luckily, I listen to music made by artists that respect their audiences and don’t use Ticketmaster.
But back before I did, my favorite Ticketmaster story was when I got charged $10 extra, per ticket, for “parking” - when the venue was in the middle of a city and didn’t have a parking lot.
So I take my brother to a concert at Nissan Pavillion in northern Virginia not too long ago. Hoping to avoid the fees, I bypassed Ticketmaster, and bought lawn tickets the day of the show.
These are 9.99 tickets at the box office. I tell the lady I need two, and she rings me up for $42 and some change. I explain to the lady that I wanted lawn tickets. She says they are. I tell her I only need two. She says that is how many she is selling me. I asked if there was some portion of the lawn that came in Dobly 5.1, because that was a shade high.
Nope, that is the price. I ask how this is possible, and she explains that they don’t have there own software to sell tickets- THEY USE @#$% TICKETMASTER!
I get her to break down the price for me, and sure enough- There was the Ticketmaster fee. Plus another service fee for getting my tickets at the box office!
Oh, I forgot to mention the $6 for parking per ticket, even though we were riding together. Screw you Ticketmaster, and screw you Nissan Pavillion. Last time I go to that hell-hole.
Daaaayum, DD, why do you hate goats so much that you’d wish Ticketmaster on them? And herpes for that matter. Not even a painful, pustulent sexually transmitted disease deserves Ticketmaster.
hangs head in shame
I used to work for TicketBastard. In my defense, though, I was pregnant and really needed the money. I also had horrible morning (24/7) sickness and rarely could make it through an entire shift without hurling.
What got me, even working there, was I had to pay to park. Wouldn’t have been a big deal if all the parking in the immediate vicinity hadn’t cost an hours salary.
I will do my best not to deal with them. Their fees are friggin’ ridiculous. Their policies suck rabid lemming ass. The way they treated us drones was horrible.
It’s like they scour the dictionary for gerunds they can in front of the word “fee”.
Handling fee.
Parking fee.
Shipping fee.
Holding fee.
“hmm, we really need to increase our profit by 2% this year guys. . .what else can you find me?”
“Printing fee?”
“Ohhh, I like it.”
I fucking hate them. I was buying wizards tickets once, and I went through the rigamarole, agree to this fee, agree to that fee. . .then right at the end, after I had a $90 ticket, they wanted to add like a $2 “convenience fee”.
Convenience?
I’ve already let you stick your dick up my ass, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you call it a lollipop.
