Time once again for Most Hated Commercials

GEICO seems to be on a mission from Satan to produce the most annoying commercials in history. In addition to the already mentioned “I used to have a career and now I’m making fun of my has been stature” commercials already mentioned there are those annoying ass Jed Clampett/Fred Flinstone commercials. The Clampett one makes no sense (he made billions by switching insurance on a truck worth $20? Yes, I know it’s a joke, but for a joke to work there has to be some credence) and both are wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy overplayed just like the [live-action] Cavemen commercials were before.

And that damned “free credit report dot com” song played on a loop could make Kim Jung Il, Castro, and every other dictator fall on their knees and beg mercy after a matter of hours. I think it’s what’s going to be played on Dick Cheney’s IPOD in hell.

[QUOTE=Slacker]
There are two I can think of, and I actually just figured out what the first one means when I saw it tonight. I believe it’s for Circuit City. A couple are sitting in front of their new hi-def TV, looking backwards over the couch at the camera. The woman is speaking into the camera, saying “I promise to only watch football on Sundays. And Saturdays. And… Thursdays.” Meanwhile the husband is prodding her along making it apparent he’s fed her the lines she’s speaking. For the longest time I had thought she was pledging to watch football only on those days, which made no sense to me. I’m a huge football fan, and I don’t watch much on Tuesday cause there aren’t no damn games on then. Only today did I realize she must mean on those days she will watch football and football alone. Ok, now it makes sense, but it could have been a little clearer.

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I’m reading this commercial totally differently than you are -
i saw it that she’s the football fan, he’s not so much. So she’s promising, “I’ll only watch on Sundays…” and then the prodding is him (silently) telling her “yeah, right. be honest.” which is why she adds in all of the other days that they show College & Pro football on TV.

It’s still a stupid commercial - but I think they’re going for an “I only drink on days that end in ‘y’” type of joke.

[QUOTE=amarinth]
I’m reading this commercial totally differently than you are -
i saw it that she’s the football fan, he’s not so much. So she’s promising, “I’ll only watch on Sundays…” and then the prodding is him (silently) telling her “yeah, right. be honest.” which is why she adds in all of the other days that they show College & Pro football on TV.

It’s still a stupid commercial - but I think they’re going for an “I only drink on days that end in ‘y’” type of joke.
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That’s how I took it, too. We’re supposed to be shocked that the woman is the football fan! Shocking! Next thing you know, men will cook!

-Joe

[QUOTE=Sampiro]
<snip>
The Clampett one makes no sense (he made billions by switching insurance on a truck worth $20? Yes, I know it’s a joke, but for a joke to work there has to be some credence) and both are wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy overplayed just like the [live-action] Cavemen commercials were before.
<snip>
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Actually, there not giving you the real reason Jed Clampett became rich. It’s because … HE INVENTED THE INTERNET!!! Yes, it’s true. Don’t let them fool you into believing it was developed by ARPA in 1967. Uncle Jed was using it in 1962. He held onto it for five years before selling it to the government.

[QUOTE=FarmerChick]
The Campbells microwavable soup commercials where the guy is moaning and groaning like he’s going to have an orgasm right in the can over some microwaved crap just gives me the creeps.

Who the hell does that with soup?
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Funny, I just found a microwave soup here (no connection to Campbell’s) that has a drawing of a woman on the lid shouting “Ero umai!”, which, as far as any of the native Japanese speakers I’ve asked can figure out (they’re baffled by it as well), means “erotically delicious.”

the face of a woman having a soupgasm
There’s a local one that’s, well… I don’t hate it, but it’s kind of disturbing. It’s an ad for Contac cold medicine. Two samurai with swords drawn are facing off on a wilderness road, obviously fighting to the death. One of them has the sniffles. The sky changes to show that hours have passed with the two of them waiting for the right moment to strike. Suddenly sniffles sneezes, causing him to close his eyes and break his stance. His opponent seizes the moment, brings his sword down with a mighty slash, and the commercial freezes just as sniffles is getting his neck sliced open.

Contac: use it or you’ll get your head chopped off.

I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned the annoying Welch’s grape juice (at least I think it’s Welch’s) commercial wherein a little girl hides under the covers and her dad comes in and she tells him there could be monsters in her closet.

And then she whispers, “But don’t worry Daddy, the antioxidants will protect me!”

And then the camera shows about fifteen glasses of grape juice on the floor in front of her closet.

I FUCKING HATE THAT LITTLE GIRL.

Her dad tries to snag a glass of it on his way out and she says, “Put that back, Daddy!”

I hate her. I fucking HATE HER. She makes me hate the word “antioxidants” now. She makes me hate small children everywhere. She makes me want to drown a kitten in grape juice.

OK, I’d never drown a kitten. But I’ll be damned if I drink any fucking grape juice any time this century.

New York State is running a PSA with the tagline “Keep your germs to yourself.” I agree with the message 100%, but the commercials just make me sick. In one, a guy is sneezing and cuoghing all over his co-workers in the cafeteria. In another, a guy who doesn’t wash his hands is going about his workday carrying a urinal. Yuck.

Tag Line: “Chase What Matters.” Now, I have not actually SEEN the commercial (playing in background while I was doing something), but I REALLY, REALLY hate what it implies–“No, you aren’t happy with your current life…*chase what matters * (material objects) so you’ll feel better.” I don’t know, chasing after anything sounds desperate and so shallow–unless it’s your dreams. Yes, I do know it’s a play on words for Chase Bank (that’s what the name is this year), but if I was in the planning meeting for that ad, I’d have said no way!

[QUOTE=LurkMeister]

I’ve also seen a new Domino’s commercial where the husband informs his wife that they have 30 minutes until the pizza arrives, then suggestively adds “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” (and suddenly is wearing nothing but a barely-fastened short robe) His wife looks at him and says “What are we going to do with the other 28 minutes?”
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That one is bad, but the other one with the “30 minute abs” guy is much much worse. That dude is so incredibly creepy. Everything from his douchey haircut to his little “yeah” or whatever he says just squicks me out every time I see it.

No matter how fast I reach for the mute button, I can never cut off sound on the beepbeep.com commercial fast enough.

Beep-beep-vroom-vroom yourself, you little turd.

I saw a really gross commercial for what I think was monster.com or something similar last night.

A woman is sitting at her desk, typing, when hear heart bursts out of her chest, lands on the desk, grows arms and legs, walks over to her boss, tells the boss that it quits (with a sign or something, I think), and then marches out the door while the tagline (“Follow your heart”) appears on screen.

[QUOTE=shy guy]
I saw a really gross commercial for what I think was monster.com or something similar last night.

A woman is sitting at her desk, typing, when hear heart bursts out of her chest, lands on the desk, grows arms and legs, walks over to her boss, tells the boss that it quits (with a sign or something, I think), and then marches out the door while the tagline (“Follow your heart”) appears on screen.
[/QUOTE]

This one was discussed in the Superbowl commercials thread. Maybe I’m weird (maybe? nevermind) but I think that last shot of the heart walking out is kind of cute. But yeah, the chest bursting is a little gross…

Talk to Chuck?

OK! “FUCK YOU and your smarmy contemporary jazz music, you bottom-feeding fuck! You’re only interest in life is separating people from their money, by taking advantage of them in their times of need (whether or not it’s their own doing).”

Oooohhhh, those commercials piss me off. I’m pretty sure none of us will ever have the “privilege” of “talking to Chuck.”

[QUOTE=LurkMeister]
And I wish AT&T would stop with the stupid “row of five bars of increasing height” in the background of every scene of their ads. It’s like they exist in some Bizarro universe where everyone is compelled to do things like arrange potted plants, stack newspapers, and design buildings just to promote their “more bars” advertising.
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In general, I don’t mind these commercials, but there is one I find kind of unintentionally hilarious: little girl gives dad his briefcase as he leaves on a business trip; inside the briefcase he finds her stuffed monkey (awww, cute!! blech); dad poses the monkey around various places and takes pictures of him on his cell phone (yay AT&T!); culminates in a picture of the monkey in front of their house - Daddy’s home!! Hooray, it’s cuteness all around, whatever. But the funny part is the song they have playing in the background:

Sweet little thing,
Apple of my eye,
[blah blah blah other lyrics]
You’re the only reason I keep on coming home
You’re the only reason I keep on coming home

Every time I hear it, I think: that doesn’t bode well for his wife.

I can’t stand it when, in commercials, people open their mouths and music comes out. There’s a series of commercials out for some HDTV and this happens all the time.

OTOH, I listened to all 30 minutes of some Time-Life commercial 'cause I liked the music. It was for one of their compilations, something like “Hits from the 70’s that you’re embarrased to tell your dog that you deeply groove on 'em.” I think the “More More More” song was in this commercial as well. :wink:

[QUOTE=Hippy Hollow]
…and then there’s another with CYHMN douchebag. He’s all panicky, and Verizon thugs pick him up in a cab… because his wife is having a baby! Seriously, who gives a shit? Isn’t it enough that he’s the most annoying commercial mascot ever… now they’re trying to make it a serial? What’s next, CYHMN Baby’s first words are… “can you hear me now?” :rolleyes: :mad:
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I don’t think that’s the focus behind the commercial. I think the point they’re trying to put across is that they test their network THOROUGHLY. As in “we want to make absolutely sure your wife has coverage if she’s in labor and driving through a tunnel, so we’re going to act it out as realistically as we can in the most dramatic way possible.”

[QUOTE=LurkMeister]
The one for Jarrod’s where the two women are talking about the text messages that a friend keeps sending them…
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ANY Jared’s commercial.

I thought of one that isn’t here but will be. The easy pregnancy test done by a parachuting lady to show how easy it is to use, and when she lands on the ground she knows if she’s pregnant or not it’s that fast. And if you thought spitting in the wind was bad, imagine the ad.

[QUOTE=MsRobyn]
According to the Enbrel prescribing information, three patients out of 4509 patients receiving the drug developed lymphoma in one phase of testing, and in another, nine out of 5723 developed lymphoma. This is higher than would be expected, but they’re not sure if the drug is responsible for the lymphoma or if these patients would have gotten it anyway. Because people got lymphoma while receiving the drug, the manufacturer still has to list it as an adverse effect, no matter what the cause.

But, like any treatment, it comes down to risk vs. benefit. If I had a disease that caused significant pain and loss of quality of life, I’d weigh that against the smallish risk of lymphoma.

Robin
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I put up with mouth sores and nausea from colchichine [the nausea is right away, it takes 3 days on colchichine to give me sores] because it knocks down a pseudogout flare from 2-3 weeks to 1 week …

I do the 3 tabs over 3 hours each of 3 days, then drop back to 1 tab a day for another 5 or 6 days - makes a serious difference from before. I have broken bones, and I have done labor, and I get migraines. I would have all 3 at once rather than a pseudogout flare…as I sit here looking at a foot with no edema down from 3 cm edema in 6 days…

[QUOTE=Little Wing]
What’s even worse is their new series of commercials with idiots yelling out their windows, “It’s my money and I need it now!” over and over again.
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What sucks is it is a dependable income … the bitch who whined about losing her job because her company relocated … well. If you take a lump sum, you get nailed with taxes right away. You spend it. It is gone.

I would rather have a little trickle of money coming in while i was job hunting. Creditors are really understanding IF you have a decreased income and actually ask them to work with you, and flip them a nominal amount like $5 a month … and then when you have a job again you set up a repayment schedule.