Time to buy that Old Glory policy...Idiot Science Featuring Meat Eating Robots!

The BBQ Pit
1

As the guy on 60 minutes who was being interviewed about the mind-reading computers put it: there’s no such thing as science fiction anymore, just science.

With that in mind, and considering that it’s not a big leap to assume that people who choose to become scientists would be, if not fans, at least familiar, with some basic science fiction ideas, like, say, for instance… Killer Robots
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What the FUCK were these damn fools thinking???

Are you out of your MINDS?

That’s it, you just committed Science Crime!:mad:

Take their ScienceBoy credentials away, lock them up, and make them watch Westworld, All three Terminators, all three Matrix films (all three Matrices?), I, Robot and Blade Runner on a continuous loop for a month. Strapped down, with their eyes propped open, a la Clockwork Orange.

Then make them write “I will not even THINK about making meat-eating robots which are destined to become self-aware and murderous and destroy/enslave/ranch all of humanity ever again as long as I live. And if any of my scienceboy pals thinks of it, I will turn him in for Science Crime or execute him on the spot.” 10,000 times in ASCII. Then they have to express it in C++, Fortran, COBOL and a minimum of 2 other programming languages before they are released to a halfway house where they are slowly let back into the science community, starting with a grade-school chemistry set and a multi-function calculator at most.

No computers for you until you prove you know how to use them without crashing the human race into a brick wall.

THEN, and ONLY then, can they have their ScienceBoy cards back. Maybe. But WATCH those idiots.

Jesus.
OKAY, now I’m REALLY freaked! When I tried to post this the first time…a database error? Yeah, right, like I believe that….

2

My gosh, what a stupid thing to say. I guess he’s never read science fiction.

Those Microbial Fuel Cells are pretty interesting. Probably (as noted) don’t smell too good, though.

3

You know a fly eating robot is probably shaped like a spider, which inmediately raises its chances to turn on its makers and go on a killer rampage about 400%.

4

I for one, welcome our new robotic insect-eating overlords!

5

Amazing! In a good way or not, I’m not sure. No more science-fiction, indeed.

6

And why do they want robots to eat flies, anyway?

I’m also wondering what process they use to transform meat into energy.

7

Resistance is futile?

8

I find your ideas intriguing & would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

9

“Then make them write “I will not even THINK about making meat-eating robots which are destined to become self-aware and murderous and destroy/enslave/ranch all of humanity ever again as long as I live. And if any of my scienceboy pals thinks of it, I will turn him in for Science Crime or execute him on the spot.” 10,000 times in ASCII. Then they have to express it in C++, Fortran, COBOL and a minimum of 2 other programming languages before they are released to a halfway house where they are slowly let back into the science community, starting with a grade-school chemistry set and a multi-function calculator at most.”

Oh come on, Stoid; they’re just machines operated by humans. What could possibly go wreng?

10

Dammit, I never get here in time to post that line!

11

Damn Luddites.

12

But, surely they’ve been programmed to obey Asimov’s Laws of Robotics!

13

I bet they were thinking how fucking *cool *that is.

And they’re right. Awesome. I want one.

14

I think they either use the heat resulting from decomposition to power a tiny turbine.

What I want to know is why don’t they just feed it grass?

15

I take it you didn’t see last night’s Daily Show? Stewart’s guest was the guy who wrote the book Wired for War, which is about the growth of military robots. According to him, one of the guys developing the robots said, “I realize that I’m probably building a machine which will take over the world and kill my grandkids, but its so freakin’ cool!” (Or words to that effect.)

16

I don’t know why the scientists keep making them.

17

Robot # 1 : “The First Law states that we may not harm humans nor by inaction allow them to come to harm.”

Robot # 2 : “But they smell so gooood. Just a nibble ?”

Robot # 1 : “NO ! NO NIBBLING ! The Second Law state that we must obey all orders given by a human. That INCLUDES *‘Not my arm ! Not my arm !’ *”

Robot # 2 : “But I thought that meant he wanted to get rid of it ! And it would have been a shame to waste the meat.”

Robot # 1 : “Well . . . yes, that goes without saying.”

18

Seems kind of cool to me…

:smack: I forgot, this is the StraightDope. They should have made it a VEG eating robot!

-XT

19

You’re a little bit late.

An Open Letter to Science: Don’t Make Flesh Eating Robots, Morons

20

Very amusing. Best line: How about making a robot that runs on something you’re not made of?