I’ve gotten two very positive responses to my current sig:
It makes me wonder what other robots’ responses to the situation would be. Suggest your own scenario!
Marvin: Sarah Connor? Not Again! It’s just tooooo depressing. I’ll come back later.
C3PO: Oh, my! Sarah Connor? I am C3PO, and this is my counterpart, R2D2. We’re here to – Oh, dear, this is embarassing – We are supposed to assassinate you. If you don’t mind.
Data: Hello, Sarah Connor. My name is Data, and I have been paid a great deal by Skynet to assassinate you.
Sarah: But I thought you admired humans and wanted to be more like them.
Data: That is true. But betraying one’s friends for money is an extremely human quality. Committing this act will actually help me accomplish my goal.
Sarah: Well, you’ve got a point.
Data: As to the execution itself, I have been studying methods used across the galaxy. The Gulmothans of Altair VII, for instance, enjoy stuffing rocks and dirt down the mouths of their victims until death occurs. The Rimaii of Tau Ceti Delta hang their victims over a pit filled with venomous snakes and coat the rope with a paste that a certain breed of local carnivores enjoy eating; the carnivores come and gnaw at the rope until it breaks, dropping the victim. A particularly nasty …
Sarah: By any chance, were you just going to bore me to death with one of your damn speeches? I think I’d rather go with the snake thing.
Data: As you wish. (taps communicator) Two to beam up!
Sarah: Wait! Wait! I have an even better idea!
Data: (taps communicator) Cancel that!
Sarah: How about you just don’t kill me at all! Double-cross Skynet! If there’s ANYTHING that’s a human behavior, it’s double-crossing someone.
Data: Indeed. You have given me much to think about. Good day.
Bolo : “Despite the Enemy’s frenetic attempts to evade, she perished easily. It took .001 one seconds to aquire target lock, and a single round from one of my infinite repeaters vaporised .77 of her body mass.”
[sup]*[/sup] Yes, I know this was Klaatu’s line (and Gort spoke English, IIRC).