The Deadly Sarah Connor Assassination Squad

**Sarah Connor: ** Did you say something?
**Tin Man: ** Oil can!
**Sarah Connor: ** He said Oil can.
**Tin Man: ** Me - e, me - e-, My- mmm-my, my, my, my goodness. I can talk again!
**Sarah Connor: ** Well, you’re perfect now.
**Tin Man: ** Perfect? Oh - bang on my chest if you think I’m perfect. Go ahead - bang on it!
It’s empty. The tinsmith forgot to give me a heart. All hollow. So I’m going to chop you up into little pieces with my axe, and I don’t care.

HK-49: I am fully combat functional, Mas-ter, and my sensors are quivering with readiness to exterminate this meatbag for you. Warming blasters…

HK-50: Mocking tone. Are you there, Sarah Connor? Are you there?

B.O.B.: We’re here to assassinate you.
V.I.N.C.E.N.T.: But it isn’t in the budget.
Kryten series 4000 mechanoid: I’m afraid I’m not allowed you assassinate you as planned. Instead, I have brought back one of Mr. Lister’s socks.

Holly: Bang! You have now been assassinated! So there
Sarah: Haven’t you forgotten something? Like… killing me?
Holly: Bugger.


(door opens)

“Sarah Connor?”

“Uh, no, we’re house sitting for her. I’m Jaimie Sommers, and she’s Diana Prince.”

Original Toaster Cylon Centurion…

The Borg;
We Are Borg, Resistance is Futile, Sarah Connor, you will be Assimilated

Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo <random heckling and pointing out continuity errors>

Damn you. I was going to do this. And it’s HK-47.

[click-click-klok-click-click] “Do you have a simple blaster, sir?”
“Hey, just what you see, pal. Now, any of these weapons is ideal for home defense—hey, you can’t do that.”
[click-click-klok-click-click] “In my case, sir, that statement is totally without meaning.” [shotgun blast]

Maria from Metropolis couldn’t say anything, but I’m sure her subtitles would be very, very threatening.

Star Trek Original Series android : “I am here to kill you, Sarah Conner.”

Sarah Conner : “This statement is a lie.”

Star Trek Original Series android : “But if you are lying, then you are telling the truth; but if you are telling the truth, you are lying…error, error

< Android starts smoking >

Any Asimov Robot: “But she is human, Skynet! Your command contradicts the first law!”

Skynet: “Kill Sarah Connor, Hymie, and hop to it.”
Hymie the Robot*: “Yes.” Begins hopping. The floor can’t handle his 900-lb body, so he crashes into the basement and is wrecked.

Talky Toaster: "Oh, hi, Sarah. Gee isn’t it a wonderful day? And you’re looking really peachy this morning. Would you like some toast? Some nice hot crisp brown buttered toast? What about a muffin? When was the last time you had toast? I mean, this is my job! This is cruel! Just cruel! I mean, the whole purpose of my existence is to serve you with hot, buttered, scrummy toast. If you don’t want any, then my existence is meaningless. . . . "
Eventually Sarah commits suicide to escape.

*Get Smart

Crow: Wooo-hoo! hey Tommy Boy! Guess who I was just chatting with on thehexfield viewscreen!
Tom Gasp Could.You.Mean!
Crow: Right buddy-o-mine. It was big ol’ Skynet. Turns out, he wants us to…
Tom: Ooooh! What could he want with us!
Crow:… to kill Sarah Conner and save the robot future!
Crow: So whaddya think?
Tom uh, Crow, my arms don’t work, so I can’t fire a gun…and I don’t think those scrawny arms of yours are any match for the [high pitch voice] sinewy trim extra-firm Sarah Conner!
Crow: oh…well…
Tom yeah.
Crow: Let’s go annoy Mike! Maybe that will save the robot future!
Tom YES! (both walk offstage). It was after the Robot Holocost…

Elizabeth Hurley Fembot who kills people after making love to them - I can’t actually think of a funny line, but it would be a GREAT movie

Sarah Conners: Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about… the third Terminator movie.
Leon: The third Terminator movie?
Sarah Conners: Yeah.
Leon: Let me tell you about sequels.
[Shoots her]

The emotion chip in the neural network of my positronic brain allows me to feel sympathy, so I have opted not to kill you. However, in order to deceive Skynet we must construct an elaborate ruse involving time travel and miniature transporters and blah blah blah…

Marvin: Sarah Conner, wait don’t answer that, of course you’re Sarah Conner and now I’ll have to kill you. Why I don’t know, they want me to kill you. Do you have any idea what a bother it is traveling back in time? A brain the size of a planet and all they can ask me to do is kill one lousy human. Oh, I’m so depressed. Do you have any idea the indignities I have to suffer? I don’t feel well. Are you lonely? I’m lonely. . .
Until she becomes so depressed she takes her own life.

Prequel R2D2: Beepboopbeepwhiistle.

Sprays Sarah with oil
takes off with his rocket boosters

OT R2D2: Beepboopbeepwhiistle.

plugs into a conveniently placed data port
causes 2 tons of irony to be dropped on Sarah Conner

Will someone please explain “bidi bidi bidi” to me?

Is that one of those coding-geek in jokes or something?Wiki says it’s a mango flavored cigarette for Indian children. This does not add to my understanding.

Based on Elendil’s Heir’s post, I guess it’s from Buck Rogers.

(not really a robot but…)

Sarah Conner: Yes, I’m Sarah Conner.


MCP: End of line.