Times you REALLY need a man....

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

“1–respect me
2–be intelligent
3–snuggle, cuddle, and just in general be VERY naughty with <http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/images/smilies/wink.gif>
4–pamper me even sillier than I already am
5–father and help raise any kids I want to have
6–lift heavy things
7–take out the trash
8–clean up the house
9–do the laundry
10–cook dinner
11–fix things that break
12–protect me from harm
13–explain what goes on in men’s minds”

I can do all that. I even have a ton of tools in the shed. Including a chainsaw :slight_smile: vrrrrrrrrrrr!..Im straight too! :slight_smile:

42

Oh yeah! I have a chainsaw too. I forgot about it, since I’ve only used it once and it’s fairly new (September).

43

Just for the record, Pepper Mill asked for a set of tools for her Bridal Shower. It drove my mother nuts.
Also for the list of things you need a guy for – don’t forget Killing Spiders. Pepper will take on all sorts of “manly” hardware tasks, but I still get to kill the spiders.

44

Another time I REALLY need a man is after having read a post, such as this one.
Let me just say, “MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm! Wow!”

url re-directed per request of this poster - UB

[Edited by UncleBeer on 12-03-2001 at 04:26 PM]

45

The first thoughts that rushed into my mind… opening jars, reaching the top shelf, going downstairs with a baseball bat when I hear a noise, and bear hugs… God, I’m getting misty now… sniff

46

“In the jungles of central Klatch there are, indeed, lost kingdoms of mysterious Amazonian princesses who capture male explorers for specifically masculine duties. These are indeed rigorous and exhausting and the luckless victims do not last long. [Footnote: That is because wiring plugs, putting up shelves, sorting out the funny noises in attics and mowing lawns can eventually reduce even the strongest constitution.]”
–Terry Pratchett, Eric

47

See? After me, all men pale in comparison - might as well turn to women. :wink:

:eek:

Ah, that’s better. :smiley:

So, um… how you doin’? :wink:

Esprix

48

Hmm, I can do ALL of those things…and soooo much more:)
mmmmmmmm, bear hugs…mmmmmmmSo, how YOU doin’? :wink:

49

ChromeSpot, Sweetie, I sure could’ve used a pedicure and a general massage today. It’s just been a rough day all around, and I’m tired. [sigh]

Awww, handy. I know my house is a disaster area and probably a biohazard, but I don’t think it’s time to whip out the chainsaw JUST yet. [giggle] Put the saw back in the shed, dear. Btw, you didn’t answer question #14.

CalMeacham, I don’t know whose list you were referring to, but if it was mine, then I really don’t want a fella to kill spiders. I like spiders just so long as they’re non-poisonous because they eat up all the other pesky bugs. I generally don’t like killing bugs because I just get sickened by the sight of bug guts. [shudder] I would, however, like a fella who’ll kill roaches, if they crop up. [SHUDDER]

Esprix! [giggle] Just what do you think you’re doing flirting with BoiToi,* just when he offered to make one of my fantasies come true? And I was getting SO excited. :frowning: I declare. Everytime I turn my back for a minute, folks start trippin’. Unless, BoiToi said all that stuff just to make you jealous so he could get some action or something. Hmmm.

*Btw, I think it’s just cute how you’re flirting with BoiToi. He sounds perfectly dreamy, doesn’t he? [sigh] I don’t think I’ve seen any of the gay Dopers flirting. :smiley: Y’all should flirt more often.

Anyway, I thought of something new to add to my list.

#15. Keep me warm.

Unless that would go under #3. Well, all I know is it’s awful cold around these parts today. I think the high was 62 or 65 or something godawful cold like that. I don’t know what the temperature is now, but I’m freezing. :frowning: