Didn’t take more than a few seconds to find two threads, there may be more:
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In a perfect world, the waitress would have a cousin working for TSA.
And thus is revealed the real motivation behind tipping. A glorified shake-down.
I’m not doubting that you learned it here - I’m doubting that you understand it. From your post, it’s clear you’re foggy on its execution.
This really doesn’t matter. I’m very familiar with the insult tip - I’ve had to use it before. What you encountered does not rise to the level of needing to insult the server for their performance. The fact that you think the quality of the food should somehow be related to the server’s compensation is staggeringly ignorant. Stop trying to make excuses for your deplorable behavior, learn from the experience, and move on.
I learned about the British reverse peace sign from this board. When I lived in London, any time a server was late with my meal, I would give 'em one of those.
If I did this improperly, I blame the message board.
Here’s some advice for tip haters: We get it. You are morally opposed to tipping. Bully for you. What you need to know is you are a sliver thin minority and the impact of your ‘stand’, in stiffing/undertipping the server, has zero real effect. It’s a numbers game, and you’re not making much difference over all. And no one, who feels tipping is appropriate, is ever going to be swayed by your campaign to change this.
All that’s happening when you expound on the topic, in threads, restaurants or groups of friends, is you’re revealing something, that most of your audience is going to think, (no matter how righteous you feel your stance is), reflects somewhat unattractively on you.
Tip or don’t tip, no ones really gonna care in the big picture. But when you proudly announce such a thing, all those around you hear is that you’re cheap. Resist the urge to reveal this, is my advice. Literally no one but you cares. And you’re just making yourself look bad. Don’t tip of you like, but at least have the sense to not announce your boorishness. I assure you, those politely listening to you are embarrassed for you. In part because you don’t tip, but mostly because you’re not swift enough to do so with any discretion.
Don’t tip if you like, but spare everyone the embarrassment of having to listen to you go on about it. It’s really not something you should ever boast on. I’m not trying to change your view, please understand. Please continue to not tip if that’s how you strongly feel.
Not unlike persons proudly stating, 'Yeah, I don’t read.", I’m not gonna bother trying to change your mind, but I would offer you the advice that you might want to keep that to yourself, as announcing it reflects very badly on you. Not on books.
Honey, stop defending yourself and continuing to make your weak case. You are completely in the wrong. Show that you have some modicum of class by accepting your deserved lumps graciously and admitting you learned something here. :dubious:
By the way, Quartz, an important part of the insult tip is to give the pittance directly to the server. In no way is leaving a bad tip on the table, and fleeing like a scared child for the server to discover it later, considered good form.
So, if you’re going to do this again, at least do it right.
All I hearing is, “Doesn’t matter if the meal was shit and you didn’t enjoy it, you have to tip anyway”.
No, what people are saying is if the meal was shit, it’s not the server’s fault. Lodge your complaint with the manager or the chef, and don’t make a passive-aggressive statement with your pittance of a tip.
Now if you didn’t enjoy the meal, that’s on you. Your enjoyment of any event isn’t anyone else’s responsibility.
You don’t ever HAVE to tip. You don’t ever HAVE to do much of anything. Grownups make choices about what they do or don’t do based on their values, which may or may not include seeing the points of view of others besides themselves, to wit, servers in a restaurant who put up with demanding and picky customers who treat them rudely.
BTW, you probably meant to write, “All I AM hearing…” right? I overlooked that because I knew what you meant. That’s how that works.
You’re welcome.
Well, yeah. It’s not the server’s fault that the food is bad. Although I do tip extra for good food oddly enough. I only tip much less than 20% for very poor service. But poor service would include not making absolutely sure my order is corrected if it is incorrect (I’ve never sent back food that is merely substandard rather than not what I ordered.)
I very much doubt that’s true. Many, many people intensely dislike the tipping culture
I’m not standing on a soapbox at regular intervals to change minds. When I eat at restaurants I pay the price they charge me and leave. In some cases it is clearly stated that a discretionary service charge will be added to the bill. That is perfectly transparent and I have no problem with it (though on very rare occasions I have had it removed before for terrible service or food). Once there is an expectation over and above the figure on the bill then no, I don’t want to pay a penny more. Unfortunately having to work often in the USA means I can’t exist in a tip-free culture but I still try to avoid it where I can.
Only once in my life has anyone ever challenged me over a tip, it was in a a chilli house in Manhattan and I left a rounded up tip which was nearly 20%. The waiter had the cheek to ask me why the tip was so small, had she done something wrong? and the manager came over to quiz me about it as well. No problem I said, if the tip wasn’t to your liking then I won’t leave one. I paid the exact amount in cash and left.
I’ll survive, but that’s very US-centric view of yours. It’s not a universal culture and not universally seen as a good thing. I’ve been on holiday in Austria for a few weeks just recently and you just don’t tip, no need. The price is the price. By your logic anyone from that country expounding negatively on tipping is revealing something unattractive? plus, I don’t have a audience and I don’t voice my views.
you seem to care.
Why would I proudly announce it? I just don’t tip if it is at all avoidable. No need to make a song and dance.
again, you really sound like you care.
I’m suspect you are too immersed in the tipping culture to understand what people outside of it think.
Boast? you seem to misunderstand. I’m not proud or ashamed of it, I just don’t do it where it is avoidable. I think people being reliant on tips instead of a living wage is a bad thing. And I dislike opaque charging practices, If I’m against the process then best that I don’t try to perpetuate it or encourage it where it isn’t common.
wow, I am quite surprised that you’ve drawn an equivalence between the tipping culture and literacy. You might want to rethink that one. It is almost like you are making a connection between being cultured and being one who tips.
What you are hearing is to not punish the wrong person. Even when leaving a small tip is appropriate if you don’t follow up with the manager, no one will know what you were upset about.
If you can’t respect local customs, then go back to wherever it is you came from. And stay there.
I would suggest that if there is a next time, send the food back, ask for the check for the tea, and leave. Either that or ask for the manager and show him what you are unhappy about, then leave. The server is an underpaid and overworked minion who has no control over the kitchen.
Correct. When you get a shitty meal, you tell the server. They should inform the kitchen, and hopefully the manager as well. If they don’t, then you go directly to the manager (you might also leave a bad tip, because they’re not doing what they need to be doing). If the manager doesn’t comp your meal, they’re doing it wrong.
Why is all of this so difficult to understand?
That’s not why the staff gets tipped.
But they don’t- they get a tip that is a percentage of the meal. If the food is great they get their usual tip. If the service is great, they get more.
It would be nice if “principled” stands could change the tipping culture here in the US, but it won’t. It’s part of our DNA, part of our misplaced idea of American Exceptionalism, and it will be with long after all of us are gone, just like the idiotic Imperial system of measurements.
Like many others, I think it would be far better to pay wait and service staff appropriately and do away with tipping as a matter of course. It’s not rewarding exceptional service, it’s rewarding someone simply doing their job. That said, I don’t let my feelings that it an imperfect and inadequate system of compensation affect my actions, just like I don’t use centimeters and kilograms when speaking of measurements in normal conversation.
I’m a little confused, but perhaps you explained in an earlier post. Are you saying when in the USA you tip, but that you prefer other places where there isn’t a tipping culture? If so, there’s nothing controversial in your view. In the US, the tip is part of the cost of eating at a restaurant. Obviously, it’s a crazy system, (“we’ll supply the food, but you pay for the help”) but its what we have. Refusing to tip is equivalent to telling the server that you expect them to wait on your for free. While there may be rare occasions where that is appropriate (very rare), I’ve never done it.