Re: litter: I’ve been using the Breeze litter box and litter and diapers for over a year now and love it. No dust or little pieces of clay to track thru the house and no odor as long as you change the diaper out regularly.
So, has the OP acquired a feline overlord yet?
If you do that, make sure you don’t have a spray bottle of olive oil for cooking that looks similar to the spray water bottle. Mr. Neville sprayed our Luna with olive oil once for jumping on the dining room table. Which was covered with the day’s newspaper. There was an oily mess everywhere and I had to take Luna to Petco for a bath while Mr. Neville cleaned up the mess of oil and newspapers. That day wasn’t much fun for any of us.
Any way of startling the cat will usually stop misbehavior. And cats are skittish (some more so than others), so startling them generally isn’t difficult. I hiss at mine when they’re doing something I don’t like. That’s what mother cats do with their kittens, or so I’ve heard.
It doesn’t work to punish cats. Distracting them from misbehaving with something they don’t like (a loud noise, being squirted with water) can work, but punishing them after the fact doesn’t. If you come home and find cat hair on the table, it won’t work to punish the cats after the fact. They won’t associate the punishment with having been on the table earlier. You pretty much have to catch them in the act, or maybe a second or so later. And make sure you’re not getting them when they’re stopping the bad behavior (ie, getting off the table). That sends the message that jumping off the table is bad (but being on the table is OK). They either don’t have the reasoning abilities to get from “jumping off the table is bad” to “being on the table is bad”, or they do and choose not to use them, because they like getting on the table.
Cats don’t understand English. This Far Side cartoon applies to cats as well as to dogs. Probably even more so than dogs. Lecturing cats, or telling them what they should not do, doesn’t work. You’ll find yourself doing it at some point, but you should be prepared for it not to work.
Don’t expect to have things all your own way, with a cat around. There will be some things that you wish the cat didn’t do, but you can’t get it to stop doing, or that you wish it would do and it doesn’t. You’ll have to learn to pick your battles, the same way good parents do.
For most cats, most of the time, this will be true. But people don’t really need advice for those times, now do they?
I for one…nah, too easy. 
We haven’t gotten the cats yet. The kitty’s are going through a final round of shots and things from the rescue group’s vet and then they are going to do a home visit with us next week to make sure that we don’t seem like animal abusers. After that, assuming that we don’t accidentally give off serial killer vibes, we get a couple of 4 month (almost 5 month) old kittens.
I’m excited.
Larson had an even lower opinion of the cognitive ability of cats :D.
On the discipline thing…I highly recommend choosing a method that you can use long distance (at least across the room).
A battery-powered squirt gun works well, or something loud and noisy to throw (I used to use my keys).
You don’t want them to ever learn that you must get up in order to discipline them. Unless you plan to get up a lot in the future.
Once you’ve got them distance-trained, they’ll stop at a verbal signal (hissing or “hey you” or whatever works for you).
Cats can recognize words, though, and some cats can recognize quite a few words. One of our cats recognizes the word “toy” and will bring a toy to a person when he hears it.
Cats understand “NO!” perfectly well, but they just don’t CARE. They also understand the can opener noise, and they DO care about that.
I have never oiled a cat, and I have no desire to start doing so at this stage of my life.
Yep. And towards that goal, just get the minimum of stuff necessary, see what the cat likes and how happy it seems, and add to it as time goes on, if necessary.
That actually sounds like advice I’ve given to new parents asking 'should I buy a crib and a carrycot and a cot and a moses basket and a buggy and a pushchair and a dummy and babygrows and vests and booties and and and and…*
My cat will also never be my feline overlord just like my daughter will never get anything by repeating ‘please’ insistently in an annoying voice. We don’t live in a cartoon.
*These terms are mostly UK-specific or are different in the US and UK, but you get what I mean.
My cats know that the silver thingy in my hand makes the red dot, but they go bonkers anyway. The laser pointer has a tiny keyring attachment that makes an almost inaudible “clink” noise against the pointer itself. When they hear it, they know what’s coming - I can’t even touch the frickin’ thing without causing a riot.
Joe
Same. Two of mine are laser pointer addicts–they try to lure me to where I keep the pointers, and when they hear the “clink” sound they just freak out.
Well, you know, sometimes they get a little squeaky…
Cats are like little kids. You can buy them any toy in the world, but they’re probably going to end up playing with the box.
Ha, exactly. If humans can solve the puzzle of why cats + box and/or bags = bliss, we could probably figure out fusion energy and other difficult problems.
Also all cats are crazy, just accept that and you’ll be much happier.
