It seems like I can’t go anywhere these days without being pestered by some panhandler asking me for money. I don’t want to give them anything, because it’s my money that I earned. Also, in handing over money there’s the possibility I might come into physical contact with his potentially disease-ridden hands.
On the other hand, I don’t want to get into any kind of a confrontation, especially with a guy who’s probably a mental patient or under the influence of strange drugs. So yelling “Get a JOB, you worthless sack of crap!” would not be a viable option here.
So what do you do when people ask you for money? Do you know of any good non-confrontational ways of getting out of it?
Some people toss coins into their cups (if they have cups). The avoidance is the best thing as mentioned above. Seems there are more at corners at the end of freeway ramps. I just keep windows rolled up & doors locked.
I came up with an idea when I was in Nairobi a few years back, where panhandling is at an extraordinary level. Being an obvious “ferriner”, I was constantly approached by locals looking for a handout. Since they didn’t know if I was German, American, French, whatever, I made up a few totally non-sensical phrases to use in response to their begging.
Them: “Can I have some money?”
Me: “Chelly moots kreefs probnose?”
Them: “Please?”
Me: “Chako yato cinco vature?”
That’s usually as far as it went.
As for the guys on the corners at stoplights, I usually put them on my ignore list. I’ve seen too many reports where they make more money than I do.
Yeah, they sure can make more money. I read up on deaf people, or pretend deaf people, selling
cards or pencils in the 70s. Average take was $1,500 per month.
I just tell them Im deaf. This works on hearing & ‘deaf’ people wanting money
I usually avoid eye contact and keep walking. If that doesn’t work, I just say in the most sugary, sweet tone I can manage, “Sorry, I don’t have any.” Sometimes when I see them coming at me from a distance, I ask them for money before they have a chance to ask me. I’ve considered stealing a bunch of applications from McD’s or some such place and handing those out instead of change.
I keep a pocketful of change when I’m in Hollywood or other place that has a lot of panhandlers. If I feel like I should I give them some or all of what I have.
Or I ignore them.
I listen to my heart.
I’ve given 1-5 dollers to guys at stoplights.
It always makes my day.
In NYC, there are both panhandlers and guys handing out advertising flyers. When a guy would aggressively try to hand me a flyer, I would always step around him muttering “no thank you.” For some reason, I started saying “no thank you” to panhandlers, too. Doesn’t really make sense, but I’ve never had a problem with a panhandler getting angry with me. I don’t like telling them that I don’t have any spare change, because that is usually a blatant lie.
Having had to beg for cash to survive before, Hamish counsels me that, even if you don’t want to give, at least make eye contact and say “Sorry.” He recalls that so many people treated him as a feature of the terrain that having someone just acknowledge his existence was almost as good as getting cash.
They usually hit me up at the drive throughs for fast food restaurants with a spiel of “hey man, I haven’t eaten in days”, so I usually offer to buy them dinner. Most take me up on it. Others keep pushing for money, to which I just say no.
With regards to the “disease-ridden hands”, I’ll give anyone who wants it the dignity of a handshake. I can always wash hands later if I want.
That is how I always handle it, and it seems to work just fine. This isn’t why I do it, but I’ve heard that in some places (San Francisco?), ignoring panhandlers will get you a stern tongue lashing (“I’m a human being! Can’t you acknowledge my existence!?”). Anyone else heard or experienced this?
I usually tell them before they start their pitch that I will help them anyway I can, but I’m not giving them money. I had one guy ask me for money because he’d “stepped on some glass and cut his foot” So I told him if he was bleeding I’d get him some bandages at the nearby drug store. He went so far as to take his shoes and socks off before he gave up. (He had some athlete’s foot, but that’s about it).
Oh, yeah…I guy I knew would make them tell him a story or a joke or amuse or inform him in some way before giving them his change (or bills). That way, he felt he was getting his money’s worth.
Last thing I want to do after working 10 hours at a job I absolutely hate is listen to some pathetic on the subway go into his routine. I don’t care if you “need money for the subway”, “forget your wallet”, or just want a sandwhich.
The last thing you want to do is get into a conversation with these people. Aside from possibly being crazy (although I suspect most are harmless), I don’t really feel like getting into a discussion as to why I won’t give them some money.
As for flyer-passer-outers, pretty much treat them the same, if not worse. “No I don’t have a minute for fucking Greenpeace”, “No, bitch, I don’t need 20% cheap mens suits”.
It may sound harsh or insensitive, but in a big city like New York, most of us don’t have the time to deal with EVERY SINGLE street person on our way from point A to point B.
Keep a few fake bills in your pocket. You know the ones that look like a real bill but are blank on one side or have an ad or prayer. Maybe the address to the local employment agency or something, be creative.
Fold a few up, stick 'em in your pocket and don’t even slow down when you give them away.
I resolved once, when I worked downtown, that I would give a dollar a day to one of the many panhandlers. That worked for about two weeks before I realized that they had me on their mark list, and knew when I was leaving work. The same three guys were fighting for my “account.”
I subscribe to the general method described above, which can be summarized as: do not engage. No eye contact, no acknowledgement.
So now you get a probably not at all helpful story. Late one night my erstwhile partner in a music production company and I were walking up my driveway when we were approached by a powerfully built man who told us a story we’d heard before. His Momma was dyin’ in a hospital in Tupelo (why is it always Tupelo?) and he only needed $6 more to get a bus ticket to go say his goodbyes.
I just marched on, but my partner, a large PI lawyer, stopped and made the guy go through a whole fantasy tale. Then he gave the guy $6.
When the guy had finished blessing him and got about twenty feet away, my partner turned around and yelled, in a PI lawyer voice that I’m sure froze time and awakened the neighborhood, “Hey!”
Although my wife occaisionally likes to give some money away, It’s just flat out against my religion. (My religion is not giving away money).
My answer is always the same:
“No, but good luck.”
I’ve never had a problem with this yet. It’s short (I don’t stop walking), it’s simple, I’m not lying, and I’m not getting into any sort of philisphical debate. No one has ever asked me "Why not? A firm “No” always ends the conversation right there, and then adding in the “but good luck” hopefully removes any homicidal urges they may otherwise entertain (OK, from a less cynical point of view expresses some human concern).
