I should give you money why now?

The BBQ Pit
1

In hindsight, maybe I should have just smiled and cursed him out really loudly.

I had a long day of classes with no chance to eat in between, and decided I’d stop to Subway on my way home. Go in, order my sub, get a drink, debate eating here or at home, then pick a table and sit down to enjoy my meal. Turns out it would have been better to eat at home.

Not four bites into my sub, some random guy comes up to me and puts a piece of paper in front of me, on which is written (I shit you not) “I am deaf. Give me money.” This puts me in a really awkward situation for two reasons.

  1. I am not in a position to be giving money away to strangers even if I wanted to–what change I did have on me I need for laundry.
  2. I had no way of communicating this to this man and not look like a jerk (If I’d been thinking straight I’d have pulled a pen out of my bookbag and wrote “I’m broke” for him. But I was too surprised to think straight, even to shake my head ‘no’)

I do try talking to him in the hopes that he read lips–he didn’t. He gives up and walks away, and I breath a sigh of relief.

Once the utter shock of this wore off, I just couldn’t believe the audacity of this guy. I see beggars all the time–the street I was on has the most pedestrian traffic in the city, and the most pan-handlers as well, most of them with signs touting equally stupid reasons to give them money. But what made this man think it would be a good idea to walk into a restaurant, and start bothering customers who are just trying to enjoy their meal?

I’m not sure what’s worse–the fact that he seemed to think that being deaf was a good enough reason for people to give him money, or the way he simply demanded it. Listen…er, I mean, read—anyone who simply says ‘give me money’ is an asshole. I am not obligated to give you money. It’s my money, and I’m free to do what I want with it. If I want to donate it to charity, I can. If I want to pay rent with it, I can. If I want to blow it on junk food, I can. If I want to give it to the guy with the sign reading ‘Need money for cocaine’ instead of you, I can. You’re not entitled to one red cent. And don’t try to guilt me into it either. That just makes you more of an asshole. Coming onto private property and bothering people who are minding their own business is the icing on the cake of your assholery. If you’d just asked, even with a please, I wouldn’t be so pissed. Me not giving you money was not because I’m uncaring, but because I don’t have money to give. On the other hand, you should know some manners (Hint: Like not bugging people in a restaurant. Only waiters can do that)

I’m sure you think I’m a jerk for not giving you money. I’m not the jerk here–just the one with more decency.

2

I agree with you 100%. What a dick for thinking he could just walk up and ask for money. At least put some effort into it.

Of course, you could refer him to Kel Varnson - Latex Division (sp?), he loves the homeless and poor! :stuck_out_tongue:

3

Geez, it’s friggin’ brilliant. My hat’s off to him. :smiley:

Look, he found a way to panhandle on the premises without the Subway manager knowing what he’s doing. All he has to do is stroll around and hand his little note to likely-looking marks. If nobody ever mentions his little game to the management, all they can ever bust him for is “not leaving after he finished his meal”.

I’d have said something to the manager, just for the heck of it, although he’ll just move downstream to Burger King.

4

…and chances are good he’s not really deaf anyway.

I’m such a cynic. :smiley:

5

I am no Kel, but I never, never, and add another never for emphasis, give money to panhandlers. I live in DC and there are any number of worthy charities that can alleviate homelessness and substance abuse problems. I think of each dollar I give a panhandler as one less dollar I would give to charity. I have also noticed an odd trend of people who clearly aren’t homeless standing outside the 7-11 and just asking for money. They are invariably young mean wearing nice clothes, who do they think they are kidding?

Jayn, I am sorry this happened to you, but I don’t think rudeness is even a consideration. Get away or go to hell would have been a completely appropriate response in my opinion.

6

Poor Pete Townsend!

7

snerk

8

“I’m supposed to pay $2 for stickers just because this guy can’t hear?”

“Hey man, I may be deaf, but I have feelings too.
…I mean, ‘what?’”

9

Another vote for mentioning it to the manager. I hate being bothered while I’m eating.

A few years ago, there used to be quite a few people handing out cards that claimed they were deaf and needed money in various parking lots. I always reported these folks to the management. I also reported any other beggars that were in the parking lot. Some of our local newspaper columnists did some articles on some of the more regular beggars, who usually trotted out the same old stories for each mark. One woman specialized in saying that she needed two bucks for gas money, one guy was raising money to get his tire fixed, and so on. These people had regular areas that they’d work in, and they’d hit up everyone. Apparently they managed to get enough money to make it worth their while, at least until the columnists broke the stories. I haven’t seen them working the parking lots nearly as much any more.

10

I know I should have mentioned it to the manager, but my brain fritzes temporarily when presented with an unfamiliar situation. I don’t know what it is, but I can’t think straight for a short period of time. I don’t think he stuck around long though–it wasn’t a busy time of day, and there are plenty of other restaurants around, both fast food and good ones. I’ve heard of other people who did the same thing, but they were selling keychains and such, so you were at least buying something instead of giving out good money to perfect strangers.

fluid–snort

11

He may not have been able to read lips, but I’ll bet there was a hand gesture he would have understood just fine! :smiley:

12

I don’t think they expect you to believe that they are homeless. I suspect they hope you will either front them beer money on the strength of their inherent worthiness (after all, beer is a human right), or just hand over the cash because they are intimidating by their mere presence.

13

The whole premise wouldn’t sell me on giving him money.

Firstly I know a married couple, both of whom are deaf. While being deaf certainly isn’t fun, they don’t actually have a lot of inconveniences in trying to get gainful employment in any field where hearing isn’t strictly required.

Now obviously, some of us will argue being able to talk to your fellow man is always required, deaf people aren’t without forms of communication.

As it this couple probably rakes in enough that they would be considered “upper middle class.”

I mean, they have to deal with bigger hassles when it comes to making phone calls, and they obviously probably don’t get to have a lot of fun buying CDs and violating copyright laws by downloading MP3s, but honestly.

Someone in a wheel chair or a blind guy gets a lot more sympathy. Of course not from me because blindness guarantees lifetime coverage of medical supplies and supplemental income from the government, so while the blind may not be well off from this none of them need to beg unless they are mentally challenged (in which case they should be in a group home or something and not panhandling on the street) or are just plain grifters.

14

Up in Toronto with the ex-bf three or so years ago, we had the same lady beg us for $2 to get home on the subway on two different days. Exact same story… she became rather indignant when we pointed it out. Here in Houston we have regulars that work the same corners, I can think of one guy off the top of my head who’s been at this one corner about 15 mins away from me, for at least a couple years… he an older guy with no legs, and wears flip-flop sandals on his hands, and pulls himself around on a skateboard. I’ve always wanted to stop and ask him if I could take a picture and find out his story, how and why he ended up that way and there… but I was afraid he might think I just wanted to mock him or whatever, so I’ve just kept my curiosity to myself.

I’ve never gotten a “deaf card” down here, but I have encountered that up north. It seemed really weird to me at the time and yeah, it was someone coming up to my table in a fast food place… and didn’t seem to want to leave.

I’ll frequently give pocket change to buskers, a dollar or two if I hang around or they’re really good, but I don’t ever give money to just guys sitting around on the street. I give money to Star of Hope and a couple other poor/homeless charities here in town when I can spare it, there are lots of places that homeless people can go if they REALLY want help, and I’d rather the money go to someone that’s at least trying.

15

At a particular supermarket I used to shop at, I would frequently be approached, before I could even get out of the car, by people claiming to need money to buy food. I would always offer (sincerely) to buy them some food, since I was going in the supermarket anyway, and was always turned down because they wanted cash.

On the other hand, the other day a guy said he just wanted a cup of coffee, and accepted my offer to go in the McDonalds with him; so I got him coffee and some breakfast. He seemed genuinely grateful, and told me that he’d just gotten out of jail and was seeing a guy about a job later that day. You meet interesting people in Atlanta.

I never hand over cash, because I might just be enabling somebody to continue a destructive drug habit – or just supporting one of the professional beggars I’ve seen working the same area of downtown Atlanta for, literally, the past ten years. (At least, I’ve seen a couple of the same guys during the periods in 1994, 1999 and 2004-present that I was working downtown, in the area of Peachtree and International Blvd.)

A friend of mine was approached by an entire family working together – two parents and two pathetic-looking children. They gave him what sounded (to him) like a well-practiced story of serial tragedy. He said, “My God, you folks need more help than I can give you. You know, I’ve got a friend at a precinct near here. Let me give him a call and we’ll get somebody in Family Services to help you.” They quickly disappeared, so possibly there was something fishy there.

I give to charities when I can, but really hate somebody trying to con me. I’d be glad to pay more in taxes if it meant a better social safety net. It’s often said that a society can be judged by how it treats its least members.

16

Last year, when I had a three hour break in between classes, I would sit in the campus library and study (on my laptop… with this board open :wink: ). Once in a while, a “deaf” guy would come in, walk around the carrels and place pieces of paper printed with “I am deaf” and pictures of different sign langauge symbols, and it asked for a minimum of $2 as a donation. :rolleyes: While he never said anything or did anything directly to bother me, he just walked around placing them down, and then do another round about two minutes later to pick up the money people left them, it annoyed me that he solicted money on private property. I made a complaint with the librarian, and I haven’t been panhandled at all this year. It definitely pays to speak up about it.

A note related to this… I never even acknowledge panhandlers. When they try to approach me on the streets with one of their lame ass stories, I walk straight past. Most of the time, I don’t even make eye contact. I’m not even going to waste my time saying “Get a job” or “The shelter’s two blocks down” or even “If you need food, I’ll buy food but I’m not giving you cash.” There are many charities and food banks set up to help people in their situation. If they want my help, they can go to those because that is where I give my money.

17

Another Atlanta story…

This morning I pulled into my parking lot (and noticed Mr. ‘you have no business here’ approaching). It is a company parking lot with no exit or passthrough.

He intercepted my trajectory from car to place of employment, as anticipated.

His spiel:

“Hey, friend - I’m looking to get a couple of Little Debbies. I ain’t gonna lie to you.”

Me: (Heartfelt) “I’m very glad that you’re not going to lie to me. Are you walking along the street or are you standing here?”

Him: Huh?

Me: “Gotta get to work. Thanks for not lying to me.”

It’s freakin’ ridiculous in this town now. When the random well-dressed stranger (it happens EVERY DAY) approaches and says “Sir! Can I ax you a question?” I reply:

“Sure, if you’ll give me fifty cent so I can get some gas and get my wife and kids back to Birmingham.”

Hasn’t happened yet.

18

There’s no need to do anything but shake your head NO. I wouldn’t waste time trying to work out how deserving he may have been - you can’t assume that he wasn’t disabled in some other way, you don’t know his backstory. What you have to do is decide whether you are the type of person who will give cash to random beggars, or to accredited charity-people who come up to you, or to accredited charities through the post. I give money to charities for the homeless, and World Vision, and the Children’s Cancer Institute, and so on. I wouldn’t give any to some random dude wandering around. The only person on the street that I’ve given money to has been this old guy in a wheelchair, who appears to be a quadreplegic and sells pens. I feel sorry for him, he’s a nice guy and he is sitting there trying to sell things that he makes. I’d like to think that many people do not slip through the cracks in the social security system, but who knows. :frowning:

19

The really odd thing is when I see the same moderately well dressed and well spoken person trying to pull a “need transportation money” hustle for a few bucks a pop at various places around town. Is it really that much more preferable to do this than get a job?

20

I would have pulled out a pen and written, “Sorry, I can’t read.”