My best friends are getting married at the Empire State Building on this upcoming Valentines Day. I was given the delightful task of selecting a restaurant for the wedding party to go to after the ceremony. Before I really thought it through, I was certain that I could easily pick a restaurant since there are so many resources available. After some thought, however, I realized that I have zero experience with formal dining in the city and I do not really know what a wedding dinner entails. Specifically, I do not know whether it is more appropriate for us to get a private room or just reserve a table. There will be 12 people altogether so a table for twelve is not out of the question. I was wondering if any dopers could lend me some insight on their experiences with this type of event. Right now, it seems as if anything goes because I have not found anything about wedding dinners. Presumably, this is due to the fact that most people have receptions. FWIW, they are having an actual reception on the weekend since Valentines Day falls on a Wednesday, but the bride wants to have dinner in New York, after the ceremony. Any suggestions on generic formal dinner planning would also be greatly appreciated.
I would recommend booking a private room for such a special occassion.
Don’t rely on internet menus, ring the restaurants and explain what the dinner is for - chances are you can give them a price per head and they’ll design a menu for you. Presumably you’ve been given a budget with or without alcohol?
I was given a budget of $50 a head, without alcohol, so I have something to work with. Thanks for the suggestion because I would have never considered asking the restaurant about menu options. The only thing I was going to call for before was to discuss reservations. A private room also seems to make the most sense because the bride will likely still be in her dress. Thanks for the help.
Serve pre-nuptual agreements for appetizers.
No, I’m not bitter. Why do you ask?
I would definitely take a trip into the city (I assume you live nearby) and check out a few restaurants before deciding. I’d want an intimate restaurant, preferably with a small private dining room.
Definitely communicate to the manager what your purpose is and I’m sure he/she will work on creating a wonderful dinner within your budget. Some things to discuss:
a) Appetizers - pre-order a few appetizer samplers which can be ready when guests arrive.
b) Drinks - I’d also pre-order a few bottles of wine, including any favorites of the bride and groom.
c) Menu choices - Consider offering a limited selection from the menu
d) Dessert - In lieu of individual desserts, ask if they can provide (or order in) a small cake suitable for a party of 12. Ask if the bride and groom could make the first slice. (Note: the difference between a regular cake and a wedding cake is the price. Tell him a “regular” cake would be just fine.)
Gift ideas: 1) A silver cake knife engraved with their names and wedding date to present to them before cutting the cake. 2) Crystal wine glasses engraved with their names and wedding date. You could have these placed at their table along with a short note from you congratulating them on their wedding.
You might want to check because lots of places charge for a private room, some as much as $500.
It would be nice to have a private room though. I wonder if you called a wedding planner if they’d be able to give you the names of some places to call. Most are pretty good about things like that even if you don’t hire them.
A private room would be better, but with only a party of 12, I suspect it will be tough to swing. Asking for a party of 12 will often net you an out of the way table, which is almost as good. Most restaurants should be able to handle 12 without crashing and burning, so I wouldn’t automatically go for the sub-menu of entrees. Pre-ordering appetizers and cake is not a bad idea, it simplifies the whole shebang.
Two things to account for are transportation and cuisine. How close to the ESB do you want to be, and what sort of food do you want served? I would recommend a Zagat guide, there are tons of reviews, and descriptions of the restaurants. They also group them by location and cuisine, and provide phone numbers. It’s worth every penny.
All of these responses have been very helpful so far. I only live 40 minutes from the city and I go in frequently so I should get an opportunity to interact directly with the target restaurants. Fortunately, the transportation has already been taken care of as we have booked limousines for the day. Apparently the ESB provides a limo service at substantially discounted prices to the couples that get married there. The biggest problem that I am facing right now is the fact that I do not know the time of the ceremony. They won the wedding through a contest and I guess the people in charge have to wait for all of the responses to come in before they tell everyone which time slot they have received. I know very little ceremony details but the only one that concerns me right now is the starting time.
But limiting it may help you stay within budget, esp. if “lobster tails - market price” is on the menu. 