I would have liked to subtitle this “or, when I didn’t listen to the SDMB.”
My last relationship was a total disaster. Turns out, I was with a Bad Guy. Eventually I moved out after snooping and finding evidence that he was online flirting with other girls and complaining about me, but I kept seeing him for about a month afterwards. Eventually, he became convinced I was on the computer talking to other men and he smashed my laptop to pieces. He also threw my phone across the room and broke it so I couldn’t contact the police, threw me on the ground over his shoulder, kicked me, slammed the door on me when I was still on the ground, etc. Very scary. I eventually got away, ran to the landlord’s next door, and called police. He was arrested and charged with domestic violence and destruction of property. This was in October.
I currently have a no contact order in place, and have since then. He’s gone from my life, and when I see him at work (because I work about fifty feet from him), it’s as if he doesn’t exist. He’s gone from my life, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you guys last time!
Over the course of months, his lawyer postponed the case management conference over and over again until finally they had to make a decision about taking a plea agreement or not. It seemed to me like a fairly standard plea: he was offered diversion for a year as long as he paid me back for the laptop. Upon completion of diversion (involving counseling and drug/alcohol testing), the charges would be wiped from his record. I was fine with this. He and his lawyer would accept the plea if the prosecutor changed the charges from domestic violence to assault. This was rejected, the plea was withdrawn, and we go to trial October 6.
I know it’s REALLY early to be nervous about this, but I can’t help it entering my head at times. The night of the event, I went home and wrote down every single detail of what happened, so I know my memories of the event won’t be fuzzy. However, his lawyer is very intimidating. He’s a fairly big name lawyer around these parts, and I’m afraid of him questioning me. I’m afraid I will do something wrong and cause my ex to walk away scot-free. The victim advocates have been terrible, including mixing up my case number and causing me to miss one of the many case management conferences.
Has anyone else had this experience? Can anyone share any pointers? By the way, I’m much better now. I went into therapy, I have friends, I have a wonderful boyfriend now who spoils me every day. Life is good for me these days