Got into a fight with GF, she called 911. The police show up and as a shock to me she was arrested, not me. They said she started it so she had to be arrested. I had some minor scratches , she had no injuries. I don’t see my self as a victim but the court says I am. This is in NC if it matters. I begged them to not arrest her but they said they had no choice.
I don’t want this case to go forward but they say they cannot drop charges on my request due to it being domestic. I don’t think I can be forced to testify . My plan is to hire a lawyer and get the lawyer to ask the DA to drop charges. Good idea?
no have her cop a misdemeanor plea and get community service or classes … shes not going to get off Scott free …all they have to do is show the pics they took of your scratches… your involvement really isn’t needed but you could be called as a hostile witness if they feel like it
they can prosecute without the victim ever going to court? As I said I will consult a local lawyer on this. Her charge is simple assault, a misdemeanor.
Uh… perhaps take a step back. For me, a total stranger, this seems like an odd reaction. Maybe “victim” is the wrong word for you here, but I don’t really understand why you’re so worried about this. You didn’t call the police and you weren’t arrested. Why not just let it play out without you?
I am fine to let it play out without me. Just don’t want to end up in trouble for not testifying. and how would they decide I am a hostile witness if they force me to testify?
Ah. In that case, why not just show up and say “I would rather not testify.” It’s a domestic violence case; there are a lot of reasons why people don’t want to testify against the person. You can’t plead the fifth, but I don’t see why you can’t calmly and reasonably state that you don’t want to testify, and if forced, give correct but minimal responses.
I was not attacked at all. She threw a cell phone at me (not an attack ) and then there was some wrestling where I got scratches from her nails. Also I cannot talk to her until the case is settled. I did find that in 20% of cases the person calling 911 is arrested so that is a surprise to me.
the cops treat domestic issues way different because the law says they have to. From what I could tell they were not happy about the way this turned out. When the cops showed up I figured for sure I was going to be arrested . I was thinking of who could bail me out the easiest. It was very upsetting to see my GF in handcuffs in the street, this was around 11 pm. She was released the next day on bail. I am still upset about it 4 days later, I cry about it often .
Are you staying away from her?
I think about her just like I would a man. She needs to learn there are consequences to her actions. Better to learn it now. IMO.
Sorry you’re going through this. I’m sure it’s hard.
they called me up and asked if I was worried about her being released and I said no. I don’t know what would have happened if I said I was worried , I was not expecting that call. Maybe they would have kept her in more time if I said I was worried?
Checked my basic understanding of domestic violence laws and this article confirms what I thought. It’s the State that’s making the charge(s) against the OP’s GF, and as such the OP can’t “drop” the charges:
"Can the Victim Drop Domestic Violence Charges?
Let’s consider a fairly common domestic violence situation: your spouse has seriously injured you by punching or kicking or choking, and either you or someone you know (family, friends, neighbors, etc.) has contacted the police. The police arrive and gather evidence for a domestic violence charge against your spouse.
The situation is chaotic. You’re scared about what might happen. You don’t want to be abused, but you also don’t want to see your spouse get into legal trouble. Many battered spouses feel the same need to protect their abuser. You may be wondering whether you, the victim, have the authority to drop domestic violence charges.
The answer is no. Once the prosecutor’s office has issued a domestic violence charge, the victim has no authority to drop the charges. But why not? Domestic violence is a crime. The process behind criminal charges is frequently misunderstood. Most people believe that victims of crime issue the charges. This is wrong. Crimes are governed by the State, and it’s the State that issues criminal charges, not the victim.
In other words, since you didn’t issue the charge, you can’t drop the charge. Therefore, it’s the State (and in particular, the prosecutor’s office) which will decide whether to move forward with the case or drop the domestic violence charges. Keep in mind that even though you aren’t the one to bring the criminal charges, you’ll have an important role to play as the proceedings advance."
as the link says I am contacting an attorney to help me out. I already got a letter from the DA’s office about the first trial date , it’s not a formal subpoena. From what I heard on that date it is just getting the plea from her which I assume will be not guilty and then the trial would be later , if it happens .
Not a lawyer, but I suggest doing some research on your own before asking a lot of questions of your lawyer, which may save you some money.
For instance, a quick search on the NYC domestic violence law shows that it is cut and dried:
"What Is “Mandatory Arrest” for Domestic Violence?
New York State has “Mandatory Arrest” laws regarding domestic violence. This means that the police must make an arrest when they have reasonable cause to believe that a person has committed specific crimes against members of their family or household.
Current or former spouses;
Current or former intimate partners, including same-sex couples and teens in dating relationships;
Persons with a child in common, including adopted children; Persons related by marriage (in-laws, etc.);
Persons related by blood (siblings, parents, etc.).
The police are not allowed to ask you if you want the abuser arrested or if you want to “press charges.” In fact, in most mandatory arrest cases, even if you ask the police not to make an arrest, they are required to do so. Mandatory arrest does not necessarily mean immediate arrest. It means that the police must make an arrest even if the abuser leaves the scene before the officers arrive."