So, the idea is to come up with titles to hypothetical movies where, without even seeing a preview, you can already be sure that the movie in question is going to be Gnaw-Off-Your-Own-Leg-to-Escape-the-Theater Bad. Here are the ones I’ve come up with so far:
Titanic II
Star Wars Episode 2: Jar Jar’s Story
Disney’s Oedipus Rex
Battlefield Earth: The Director’s Cut
James Joyce’s Ulysses
Highlander: The Musical
Britney! The Britney Spears Story
Y2K: The Movie
The Bible Code
The Beanie Babies Movie
There is a film of James Joyce’s Ulysses. It’s a lovely black and white film from the late sixties with Milo O’Shea as Leopold Bloom. Really a good film.
[only slightly a hijack] In quaint New Zealand where I was born, it was, because of the nature of the work, shown to segregated audiences. That is, women and girls one day, men and boys the next. Thus public lewdness was held at bay!
They now show Sex and the City on TV in prime time. [/only slightly]
Star Wars, Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
Pearl Harbor
Titanic
Battlefield Earth
The Wild Wild West
To the OP:
Plan 10 From Outer Space
The Tammy Faye Bakker Story
The JDT Story
The Other Other Side of The Mountain
The Wilderness Family Get Eaten By Bears
Bad News Bears: The Retirement Years
Contact 2: Why Aliens Build Human Props Such As Victorian Homes, Childrens Drawings, And Other SF Cliches
And any film about which the writer/producer/director says: “There was just too much story to tell in one film.”
Like Water for Pizza (true story of May/September romance in the White House)
Edward Safetyscissorhands (in which we see the kindergarten years, when Edward is outfitted with blunt plastic shears that won’t cut for shit, becuase, as Vincent Price says, “You’ll put your eye out!!!”)
Actually walor, they made a My Little Pony Movie. I remember going to see it, as a child of the 80’s. It involved purple goo and 3(?) witch sisters. The goo wanted to take over and cover everything, and the flutter ponies couldn’t flutter their wings and fly anymore!
I remember there being a My Little Pony movie as well… it didn’t have the goot hing though that I recall (maybe it was two really long episodes then? But it said on the side My Little Pony The Movie!) It had something to do with the ice cream and the baby ponies getting in trouble at the ice cream maker place giggles in memory and wonders whatever happened to the video… probably sold it years ago
