Titles for movies which (if there is a God) will never be made

I mentioned the first one about a month ago, but here is it anyway:

Disney’s Caligula

Don Bluth presents Stephen King’s Cujo

My Little Pony II: The Glue Factory

Snoopy Has Rabies, Charlie Brown! (they could have an advertising tie-in with Don Bluth’s Cujo)

Don’t look now, but there already is one.
For the OP, I submit the following:

Mad Max: Beyond JonBenet Ramsey
SNL’s “Dog Show”: The Movie
A Very Brady Hunting Trip
Don Knotts Does Dallas
Gomer Pyle Done Gone Wrong

Given that Rayniday’s recall of My Little Pony the Movie is at variance with Obsidian’s memories… is it time to do it again? Afterall, Pearl Harbour, Titanic, Sherlock Holmes etc. There is a precedent. Hmmmm… maybe not.

Of course, neptune’s ‘Glue Factory’ version could put an end to it all if the storyline is a big clue to the action.

What about:

** Yogi Bear: The Ballet
Popeye and the GM Crop Scandal
Steroid the Illegal[b/]

Ooops

Should say:

** Conan meets Steroid the Illegal

Dude, where’s My car, part II

Pearl Harbor TWO ( AKA as PI2)

Charlie’s Angels …oh wait.

Um, hate to tell you this, but TRON 2.0 (http://www.corona.bc.ca/films/details/realtron2.html) is a definite possibility… Still in the script stage, and not out of the question.

– Bob

Tron 2.0, interesting.

**Macarena, the Forbidden Dance

What Would Jesus Do?

My Baloney Has a First Name

Error! – The Bill Buckner Story**

Oliver Stone’s OJ

Too late. Not only is there already a Plan 10 From Outer Space, a Mormon-centered sci-fi movie, there’s also Shakespeare’s Plan 10 From Outer Space.

Actually, it was extremely well-reviewed.

**Janet and Linus Meet Bill and George, or, How I Learned to Shut Up and Love The Company

Naomi Klein: Rise of a Brand

Bert and Ernie Meet Dick and Harry

Big Bird After Hours**

and last…

Phelps: A Story of Sacrifice and Conviction

Sometimes I scare even myself… <shudder>

To be exact, they made three:

My Little Pony: The Movie
My Little Pony and Friends
My Littly Pony Tales

Oh, the humanity…

Unfortunately …

Highlander (1986) “There can be only one!”
Highlander II : The Quickening (1991) “… except for this one.”
Highlander III : The Sorcerer (1994) “oh yeah, and this one too.”
Highlander : Endgame (2000) “Let’s hope this is over.”

As for my picks :

End of the World : Domesday (based on the book)

Flatland (filmed from the side view)

Stephen King’s Supermarket Receipts

My Dinner with Andre the Seal

Cousin Larry goes to Mepos : The Perfect Strangers Movie

Hamlet II : Yorick’s Revenge

First Blood Part LXV : Getting VA Benefits

Yer not gonna believe this, panamajack, but:

Flatland - by Beyond The Fringe, even! Actually sounds pretty good. The 2D-Vue was a nice touch, though.

Let’s see…

Jacob Have I Loved, Esau Have I Swallowed
The Glorious Reign of Dom Pedro III
(with the trailer for the next film in the series, Dipendra!)
The Muppets Storm the Winter Palace
Anastasia II: The Restoration

*Virus 2: A New Infection
Sphere 2: Balls of Death
Tremors 3: When Worms Attack
Event Horizon 2: Black Holes Suck
Species 3: Um… Help!

Saving Private Ryan 2: The Trip Home
Braveheart 2: Wallace’s Revenge* (or was that Patriot?)

The Proctologist and the Gerbil
My Incontinent Father
Too Many Prunes
Mr. T Meets Richard Simmons
There’s Something About Janet Reno
Searching for Eva Braun
Jehovah Witness Invasion
The Battle for Toledo
Where Have All the Skinheads Gone?

Stephen King’s The Mullet!

Frank Zappa and Dee Snider Must Die!!!: the Tipper Gore/PMRC Story

Feltch (starring Chevy Chase as everybody’s favorite dyslexic, scat-loving detective)

Dude, Where’s My Severance Check? (a dot-commer wakes up one morning to find that, after a night of drunk-on-IPO-speculation revelry, his employer is worth less than the gum stuck to his shoes)

Ma and Pa Kettle Lose the Farm in a Drug Forfeiture Case

A Tale of Two Coreys: Dickens as Interpreted by Haim/Feldman (uuuugghhh…)

Oliver Stone’s The Monkees (John Travolta as Mickey, Billy Bob Thornton as Mike, Kevin Spacey as Peter, and Tim Roth as Davey)

Ooops…

Tremors 4…

(They made a third one?!?!)

As Highlander endgame is in an alternate universe from the other three, I didn’t count it.

Zima, Warrior Binge Drinker.

I Still Scream Because I Know What You Did Last Friday the 13th on Elm Street With Chucky and Mike Myers Part II.

OO7: The Viagra Years

The Blair Witch Project III: This Time We Brought A Tripod.

Now you’ve gone and ruined my lunch. Yuuuccckkk.

The Adventures of furryman
Romeo and Juliet 2
Disney’s Hamlet
Another Olsen Twins Movie
Hiroshama: The Musical

I don’t know if it’s the same thing, but there’s an animated version of Flatland. I’ve seen it at the Boston Museum of Science. It’s not shown from the side, however. I agree that would be a pretty dismal show (especially considering what’s said about 2-D art in Dewdney’s book The Planiverse.)

Another adaptation of Flatland – at least according to the credits – is the episode Behold, Eck! from the original run of The Outer Limits. “Behold, Ecch!” is an appropriate title, and this one would benefit from being projected sideways.

Dilbert: I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream