'Tis my joyous time of the month, so I am doped up on ibuprofin for the cramps, am sore, achy, blah blah bleg.
I was wishing yet again today that I didn’t have a period, or that there were some way of accelerating it so it would be over, say, now…so here is my (probably) stupid question. Why can’t you just douche? Wouldn’t that, er, wash everything away in one fell swoop? I never actually have douched, so I might be missing something obvious.
On a side note, too…any recommendations for bad cramps? I usually need 6 ibuprofin that first day, and I know it’s bad for my stomach, but they’re unbearable…
thanks for putting up with my strange curiosity 
Well, don’t know about the douching… um… yeah.
But, one way to rid yourself of your period is to take birth control pills throughout your cycle. This is not an advisable practice, and I would ask your doctor first, but, with Orthotricyclene for example, taking the “active” pills constantly ((as in - every day)), and just throwing away the “inactive” ones will cause you to never have a period again… or at the worst just light spotting.
Some women swear by this practice. Wish I could find the article, but search “Health” on MSNBC and you should be able to find it. Again, consult your doctor first, and do a lot more research, as I am in no way qualified to give any medical advice.
Hope I’ve helped. Think this might even need to be moved to GQ.
Well, I can’t help too much with cramp problems because I don’t get them. Never have.
In (partial) answer to your question about douching:
This won’t work for at least two reasons, the first and best being that douches just don’t get up that high. In order to rinse out the uterus it would have to pass through the cervix first. Ow, ow, ow!
Second, the menstrual flow is not from an open wound or a free pool of blood hanging around the uterus. It’s from the cells (which aren’t just blood) lining the uterus, which are slowly sloughing themselves. The cells are still attached to the uterine wall until it’s their turn to jump and I hate to think what kind of pressure you’d have to use to force them out.
I have a couple friends who have bad cramps and they swear that regular exercise and Yoga helped. Ya never know!
Oh, the horrors of being a woman!
Just to let you know, you can take the pill constantly. (I work in a pharmacy, that’s how I know.) BUT, you have to talk to your doctor about this. They may be able to switch you to a brand of pill that will be more effective. Usually, it is not recommended to continuously take the pill. Doctors sometimes advise this for women who are due for the “red tide” on inconvenient days, such as weddings, honeymoons, etc… A pharmacist that I used to work with did this when she got married. The problem is, if you miss 1 pill, it will start. (If you’ve been taking them continuously.) So, check with your doctor.
There are also forms of birth control that do the same thing. The Depo-Provera shot has been known to stop Aunt Flo right in her tracks. The down side is that it can also make her stay in town for 6 months at a time. 
In any case, check with your doctor. If it’s really bad, and you’re having serious cramps, there could be underlying problems that you aren’t even aware of (cysts, tubal pregnancy, etc…).
I may not be the most qualified to answer this, but I have experienced the joys of continual birth control pill use. (already TMI in my very first post!) I haven’t had a period in about four months now. When I questioned my doctor if this was safe, she advised me that it’s completely safe if I take a week “off” every four months or so. Also I have read it is not a good idea with pills that give you different hormonal levels at different times of the month, like Ortho Tri-cyclen. See your Dr, but I love it, no cramps, no mood swings, no mess to clean up! My boyfriend appreciates it too!
Good cramp news - I grew out of them - hopefully you will too. You should get checked for endometriosis though - it can lead to severe cramps and heavy bleading.
I also have been known to “skip” a period by taking my pills continuiously and have had no ill effects but check with your Dr. Incidentally, and this is a purly ancidotal account, I’m on Marvelous Marvelon and I ACTUALLY HAVE BOOBS! I’ve heard other similar reports so if you’re looking for a pill, and you’re looking for boobs, I humbly submit Marvelon for consideration.
Al.
Ooops! I forgot to say:
Welcome Nuji!
If you’re not up to the Pill, heat usually helps ease my cramps. A hot shower or bath helps tremendously, and on the first day, I usually lay down somewhere with a heating pad. For me, the pain fades within minutes, and within an hour, i am able to walk around without pain.
Well, fellow Doper Tymp swears by heated car seats. And cookies. [sub]Yes Tymp is male. Don’t ask.[/sub]
I’m currently trying acupuncture. Before anyone goes rolling their eyes and whispering “mumbo jumbo” behind my back, I’ve tried everything short of pregnancy to deal with the cramps I get 2 days a month. I’m tired of my quality of life suffering. I figure acupuncture’s been around 4,700 years or so, why not give it a try?
This is my first cycle while taking the herbal supplements and going for acupuncture sessions, so I’ll report back next month on if it helped or not.
In the meantime, I can say I’ve had some luck with crampbark, for the pain. Trying to find the right dosage is a bit tricky, but I think I’ve got it down.
Oy cramps, I WISH I still had cramps. Had back labor with my second child, now all I get is back pain. 2 days worth of lower back Pain. I usually take 600 milligrams of ibuprophen washed down with tequila as often as possible. (Warning-joking, I take the ibuprophen every 6-8 hours as pain requires, decreasing dosages except for the first 2, the tequila is drunk after work only when I have a bed nearby).
Continious pill you say? Hmmm I may have to try this myself…think my insurance company will be pissed at me because I just got “fixed” and now want birth control pills?
FYI (and TMI), I just tried this for my recent vacation. I have done it before (successfully) but this time has been a nightmare. Eleven days later and I’m still ruining underwear. It would have been better to just deal with it and be done with it, IYKWIM.
Add a horrendous case of “Montezuma’s Revenge” and I’m one unhappy Doper…
Anyway, to get back to the OP, if you think that a douche can take care of Aunt Flo, you need an anatomy lesson.
The cervix separates the vagina from the uterus. Think of the cervix as a bagel with a nearly non-existant hole[sup]1[/sup]. On one side of the bagel is the uterus which generates the “blood,” on the other side is the vagina. A douche only affects[sup]2[/sup] the vagina.
[sup]1[/sup] This is the part that dialates (with contractions) when a woman gives birth.
[sup]2[/sup]According to everything I’ve ever read, douching is a generally bad idea as it upsets the natural balance in there. For instance, the vagina is naturally acidic, which keeps yeast under control…upset that balance and you get a yeast infection. (Which is why some holistics advocate vinegar douches for yeast infections. The vinegar…an acid…changes the pH of the vagina, bringing the yeast under control artificially and usually only temporarily.)
WARNING: All of the above should be taken with a grain of salt. I seem to be blowing a lot of things out of my ass in the last few days. (I’m never going to Mexico again!)
One thing you can do for the cramps is start taking the ibuprofen before the cramps start. One thing medicine has found is that ibuprofen, et.al works better if you take it before you need it. (Which is real helpful when you don’t know you’ll need it until you start hurting, but with period cramps that’s not usually a problem)
I had periods from hell until two months ago when I had surgery to correct the problem (and it has worked so far - Score!) Even ibuprofen wouldn’t help with the cramps the first two days or so. I have a vibrating, heated chair pad that helped some (plus a prescription pain killer left over from dental work)
I’ve heard about a technique they use in Hollywood where the doctor goes in and sucks out all of the blood when the period starts. This lets actresses continue to work without hassle. I expect this is very expensive!
uhhh. isn’t that called a D&C?
Anyway, no to douching, it would actually do more harm than good because it could force some of the exiting blood flow n dead stuff back up into your uterus.
Next up. Depo to stop your period all together. Not unless you thrive on being a raving hormanal bitch. Okay, maybe that was just my personal experience since I was on mega doses prior to a fibroid surgery. To this day we affectionaly refer to that and lupron as “Man Hater Shots”.
Crampland. Cramps combined with heavy bleeding or a flow not regular for you, could be signs of more serious problems such as endometriosis or fibroids. Though if you’ve been checked for all that, and your not on the pill and don’t want to be, take ibuprofen the week before your period. My gyno told me this will help reduce the blood shed/flow. A cramp is actually the when the lining is sloughing off the uterus.
These all sound like wonderful suggestions, but you forgot one thing: Women’s Tylenol. IT WORKS!
Also, about the Depo shot, my best friend was on the shot for over a year, and she gained (no lie) about 50-75 pounds. When she came off the shot, she had horrible cramps (so bad she had to take naproxen sodium) and bled for Lord knows how long.
Another point: some people (like myself) cannot take any of the Pills. It reacts with my other medication and the Pill is about as effective as a sugar pill. Since my fiance and I don’t want kids, and we don’t want to use condoms all the time, I’m eventually going to get the tubes tied. I don’t want to hijack the thread, but do any of you have any advice?
My sister managed a whole year in which having her period was “inconvenient” (her word and an understatement). She took the pill for the whole year. She apparently suffered no ill-effects but eventually “had to have a period because it felt as though [she] was going to burst” :eek:
I have no idea what that means and frankly I don’t want to know.
The kabbess gets bad cramps. She actually says that exercise makes them worse for her, as does caffeine and chocolate. The suspicion I might have about the convenience of the former is offset by the self-control involved in avoiding the latter two. So I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that holy trio!
Heat, strong drugs, cuddles. They seem to be the only things that help
pan
Yeah, what Sue said about anatomy. A douche wouldn’t help at all.
However, for cramps, may I recommend Aleve? It is naproxyn sodium in OTC form and it kicks BUTT!
I’m a gal who used to (even while on BCPs) have the “cramps so bad you throw up”. Aleve rocks. That’s all I can say. I used to take so many Advil, my stomach would hurt.
Give it a try.
Re: Depo. It’s not for everyone. Some people have no problems at all with it, some it causes the huge weight gain and et. Or just try regular BCP. They may help out immensely in the ol’ period game.
BobbieSueQ:
Actually, no. (former Feminist studies and Nursing student speaking here). It’s called “Menstrual Extraction” and back in the 1970s some feminist groups were advocating its use at home without doctoral involvement. Unfortunately, the risk of infection is too high to make that practical and, yes, the doctors charge and would probably balk if there were no medical reason for it. Anyhow, the “C” in D&C is “curettage”, which isn’t necessary for menstrual extraction, which uses suction without curettage.
I feel for ya, aurelian.
BunnyGirl said:
"However, for cramps, may I recommend Aleve? It is naproxyn sodium in OTC form and it kicks BUTT!
I’m a gal who used to (even while on BCPs) have the “cramps so bad you throw up”. Aleve rocks.
I’ll definitely second the Aleve. That shit works! I take it at the first inkling of a cramp. Once every blue month, I’ve had cramps so bad, they’ve near sent me to worship the porcelain god, but my iron will prevails. Hell, I’ve had cramps so bad, they woke me up from a sound sleep! I really do hate my period some months. You fellas just don’t have a clue what we ladies go through.
Other possible solutions for cramps are to drink ginger tea. Heating pads or a very warm male draped over the pelvis works as well.
The only solution I’ve found is to drink a whole lotta orange juice. Not like two glasses, but a carton and a half. I read somewhere (probably in a seventeen magazine) that Vitamin C helps cramps. It’s the only thing to have worked for me, but the crappy thing is that you have to carry a ton of orange juice around and drink it constantly. It starts to taste pretty gross after a while. Of course, this won’t work if you’re the type to vomit during your period.
[sub][sup]That being said, I’m getting a hysterectomy as soon as I get the money. I’m sick of my period![/sup][/sub]
Just for the record. I was on Depo for a year and a half and LOST 20 pounds. The downside was that I was crabby as hell and had no sex drive. Quite a pleasure for Mr. Jarbaby.
Now, about the cramps. In a cruel, O. Henry type fate, I have ripping, terrible, take-the-day-off-from-work, throwing up type cramps that come on without an inch of warning, but then my period only lasts for two days at the most.
I second the emotion to take advil the DAY BEFORE you think you’ll be having cramps. Even one dose helps me, and then i usually only have to take one or two pills on actual cramp day to stave off the return. Of course, if you’re not too regular, this may not help.
Blackberry tea also helps, and I also recommend yoga and swimming.
jarbaby