Ouch ouch OUCH!!! It’s days like this that I just want to get a pair of pliers and yank out my ovaries.
:mad:
I hear ya, sister. I mean, I’m not really using them at the moment anyway.
Oh, and any young entrepeneurs/doctors out there . . . ovary removal service is gonna be the next hot surgery! Get your foot in the door now! 
Man, I was hoping for a bit more vitriol and poetic language here. Maybe something about your insides feeling as if a thousand angels were dancing with spiked heels, Riverdance-style, and pouring lemon juice upon them.
So in a round-about way, we can blame bush for this?
No, that happens to me. 
Guin, is there any medication you can take? I take prescribed pills from my doctor, and (if possible) lie down with a hot water bottle…
Brutus, take your fucking drive-by liberal bashing elsewhere, all right? I’m on the fucking rag-I ain’t in the mood for it.
Kythereia, considering that I’m on Paxil and Ritalin, and without insurance, I’m not looking to add any more pills to my regimen. But if I could, I try going on the pill. This fucking sucks.
Ibuprofen REALLY helps. It blocks the prostaglandins(?) or whatever hormone it is that cause the cramps. It helps most if you take a dose every 4-6 hours and let it stabilize in your bloodstream, I believe.
I’ve had alot of cramps in my day… but I’ve never actually felt the pain in my ovaries, more like just my central lower abdomen. 
I’ve been told by some women that a good healthy orgasm in the days before your period’s supposed to start will prevent cramps. Of course, I’ve been told by other women that this makes it worse. Not having the necessary plumbing I can’t say for certain. However, I do have Irritable Bowel, so I understand the problems with cramps, even if mine are caused by a different reason.
I don’t think orgasms help with cramps, but they can help to shorten your period. The contractions from them help to hasten the exit of the flow.
Actually, I thought that was kind of funny. In sort of a bullshitty sort of way.
Getting to the OP, I found that my hellish cramps lessened somewhat when I started taking regular vitamins. YMMV and all that.
Frankly I think the IBS cramps are worse, having had both types.
The orgasm thing works because it releases endorphins. It works anytime during the whole cycle. YMMV of course.
I seem to recall having had one period cramp about 30-odd years ago. Never had another one since.
I remember the pain of it though just like it was yesterday.
You have my sympathies Guin. You can also have the Mersyndol that have been hanging around in the cupboard since my crampy time, but I think they might have passed their use-by date somehow.
I (mildly) resent the implication that guys are inherently ill-disposed to hear about periods. The SDMB should be used to tear down walls and barriers not enforce them. How great would it be if every woman had a partner capable of some understanding and empathy when Aunt Flo visits?
My best friend is a woman. She now lives 2,500 miles away from me but she always calls me to share the details whenever she has a particularly heavy period.
my friend: Oh my god, I’m having such a bad period this month!
Bienville: Aww, I’m sorry. I hope it passes quickly.
my friend: I just got off the toilet and I passed these major chunky clots.
Bienville: Well, you’re that much closer to having it all over with.
my friend: There was this one clot that was just huge, I couldn’t believe it. It had to be the biggest ever. I just stood there staring at it before I flushed. It was so big and chunky. You could totally see how that could have been a baby!
Bienville: Well, we know you don’t want any more babies, so let’s try to see the positive side of all this.
my friend: Oh, you’re no fun! You’re supposed to be grossed out!
Ha! And you thought I couldn’t deal with hearing about cramps!
My feeling is that it isn’t so much a sense that those without ovaries can’t take reading about periods as that women frankly don’t want to have to deal with men saying “ewwwwwwwwwww! Gah-ross! Yuckity! BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLECH!” when same women feel like being open about their (bodily) feelings.
Regarding period pain-helping orgasms, my understanding is that this differs from woman to woman, just as desire to have sex during the relevant time also varies (from “GOD NO!” to [scorpion]“GET OVER HERE!”[/scorpion] and of course many in between).
I for one, heartily endorse having annoying reproductive glands removed.
While it’s not without it’s side effects, pregnancy and delivery does wonders for easing menstrual cramps (and not just while you’re pregnant, either!) I had debilitating, no-school, no-work cramps for years until I had WhyKid. Afterward - nothing. Not a twinge. This lasted for about 7 or 8 years, then I started getting cramps again, but not as bad as before. It sort of gradually ramped up, until they were moderately uncomfortable. For completely unrelated reasons, we decided to get pregnant with WhyBaby. I’m rather hoping to achieve the same results this time.
bullpucky, I am on maintenance ibuprofin for pain, and I guaren-damn=tee it does NOTHING for the cramps.
Ok, I agree.
It has been a long time since I had cramps so bad that I almost vomit. What’s going on today? Yep, I could barely keep the ibuprofen down that I took a little while ago, hoping to knock them back.
Of course, my period’s been odd the last few months, so of course this month is no exception. (Never mind that me getting one almost every month for the last year is unusual - I typically skip about every third month).
I knew it was starting for two days before it actually really did - not pms, but random, very light spotting. Today, I woke up to the cramps. I don’t even know what to call the first day of my period this month.
stupid body. I’m going to lie down for a while, curled around a pillow.
Although my cramps gradually lessened over the course of the years, I still recall – with not a jot of fondness – how they used to double me over when I was young. How I’d sit hunched, arms wrapped around my belly, quietly miserable, until they eased.
As I say, they did get a lot easier to take as the decades rolled by, and in the last few years of menstruality they were pretty much gone. But they’re yet another rason wehy menopause is your friend.
No, not THAT friend!
Does anyone else get pain in the front of their upper thighs–it’s a whole abdomen to mid-thigh ache for me. And my cramps have become worse with age. I find that plain old generic aspirin works the best–three tablets, please.
bienville, what a supportive friend you are! Your cross-country pal is lucky! (no sarcasm intended)