I KNOW it is his fault! 
It’s his fault when I burn my toast!
Seriously though, I never had cramps till the last few years. Do they get worse as you age (I’m 38)?
I must be a freak!
I get more cramps on the pill than off – granted, that’s mild to moderate ones as opposed to virtually none. Still, AAAAARGH. It’s weird and annoying.
I got really bad ones when I was a teenager, though, I’m not bragging. I’ve been there. I don’t know what I’d have done if it hadn’t been for ibuprofen.
Fucking cramps.
(Lsura, I know this is the Pit, and you’re not looking for advice, so I’ll keep it down to just one word and you decide what to do from here: endometriosis?)
I still remember the one time I had cramps and didn’t have any medicine with me.
Yeah, I remember crawling down the hallway because I couldn’t stand, and feeling so horrible that I actually laid down on the girls’ bathroom floor and didn’t care that there was god-knows-what pressing against my face, and then finally, after about 40 minutes, having to drag myself to a toilet (almost passing out) and puke because the pain was so bad.
Yeah, that’s why I medicate myself before I feel anything. I never want to repeat that again.
calm kiwi, I’m 43, and my cramps are worse now than ever before (thanks to Aleve, I can still function during the first two days of my period, but I need to take three or four at a time). Anyway, the reason mine are getting worse is because I have fibroid tumors on my ovaries. These were discovered when my youngest was delivered (by C-section). Often, these tumors (which are very seldom cancerous) have no symptoms except that your periods get much harder. Perhaps you should be checked for fibroids.
As soon as we have good insurance, I fully intend to have my ovaries removed!
Guin, you have my sympathies. Seriously, have you tried Aleve for cramps? (you can get the generic, Naproxen Sodium pretty cheap). It works much more effectively for me than ibuprofen ever did.
I’m seeing a new doctor for endometriosis, and he said that taking ibuprofen before your period starts can help decrease the cramps and shorten the length of your period. I haven’t been able to try it out yet, but believe me, I will be next time.
I feel your pain. I keep trying to talk my husband into getting me pregnant now so I can avoid cramps for nine months, since it seems that easy pregnancies, but difficult periods, run in my family. If that’s the case, I’d be happy to gestate for several years to avoid my cramps.
E.
Nope, PCOS that is coming more and more under control. So I know why I’m more regular. That just doesn’t always mean that I’m happy about it.
I had HORRIBLE cramps a couple a months ago. Imagine a soaking wet bath towel, and twisting and squeezing it as hard as you can to get the water out of it. Now imagine someone with giant hands doing that to your uterus.
I find Aleve plus a hot bath, plus a hot water bottle does the trick.
WAG (from a guy, even)–you have hip flexor muscles that go from your abdomen and anchor in your thighs. I’d imagine it’s possible that they’re doing “sympathetic” cramping too, which could lead to the thigh pain.
Eh, in the past what usually happens is that someone’ll put “Girl stuff” in the subject line, male Dopers get all hot and bothered thinking about hot girl on girl action…only to be bitterly disappointed. (I don’t think ALL men get grossed out by periods, but some do, so I feel a warning is nice)
I’ve found that taking a hot shower and then lying down in the tub so the water hits me directly in the stomach seems to help.
I wish I could take ibuprofen but it gives me nosebleeds. Can’t win fer losin’.
I just decrease the salt and increase the fruits and veggies. Oh, and chocolate and a hot Bed Buddy also help.
Still hurts, though. Sometimes it feels like being kicked in the crotch by a Clydesdale.
Reason #296,854 why I have got to have an orgasm. My last period just ended yesterday…after starting over 3 weeks ago. Yeah, I saw the doctor for it and got a whole bunch of blood tests and even an ultrasound. Don’t know the results yet.
I did the whole doubled-over-in-pain I’m-so-dizzy-I-can’t-stand-up my-face-is-whiter-than-Casper-the-ghost cry-myself-to-sleep-if-I-can-sleep cramps thing for several years. Then I finally went on birth control. The cramps are still there, but I can at least function enough to go to class and kind of take notes. I tried all of the different pain killers, and didn’t find anything that worked. I did find that drinking lots and lots of orange juice with calcium relieved them a little. The weird thing about my birth control is I kind of build up a tolerance to it, so I need to switch brands every year or so.
When my girlfriend used to get them (pre-menopause, & wow is she ever happy to be on the later side of that fence), she said it helped if I filled a big plastic bottle with the hottest water we could get out of the kitchen sink (with a triple layer of Saran Wrap around the neck under the screw-on cap to prevent waterleaks) and she’d curl up around it with it tucked into her abdomen (wrapped in a towel).
She also says 3-4 Duragesic pads and a bottle of Scotch helps somewhat, but I think she’s kidding.
You might want to get the uterus out too while you’re at it. I don’t know if cramps are as bad (or even existent) with anovulatory cycles, but I wouldn’t want to take the risk!
I’m not saying much about cramps though, I only get the cramps from hell once every year or two, if that. But they are from hell, I guarantee it.
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I just decrease the salt and increase the fruits and veggies.
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This is great advice. I used to get those lovely 'I can’t stand, but it doesn’t matter ‘coz I don’t need to, all I need to do is keep my headhigh enough to keep it above a toilet to hurl’ periods. Then I read that it can be diet causing your pain. I stopped putting all salt on food, sugar and extra fat into my foods. I stopped eating anything with high salt, sugar or fat in it. It worked wonders. YMMV, but it was amazing. And of course I haven’t drunk much soft drink in so long it burns on the way down, but hey, that’s probably a good thing 
You know, I’d be happy to help you with that.
The problem with avoiding salt during my period-I always seem to CRAVE it. That’s all I want-french fries, potato chips, popcorn, you salt it, I’ll eat it.
I spent the weekend on the sofa, with hot water bottles, codeine based analgaesia and vast amounts of chocolate. Irishfella knows that these are the days to be VERY nice to me, sadly he found out the hard way.
FWIW and of course YMMV but the period I had in Amsterdam was the least painful of my life, if you know what I mean.
I’m having a laparoscopy on Thursday so they can take a laser and burn off all my endometriosis and adhesions. So, not only am I in debilitating pain right now, I’m also nervous about going under, being sliced, etc.
I could use a Valium and some Morphine. 