Shade, your 1st ? is the ilk I ressurected the thread to ask. It’s ok that’s it’s a rersurectee, I still think she’ll answer.
Wow… I can’t believe this thread’s back. 
As for the question of how independent I am in my daily life:
I can dress myself & take care of any and all personal hygiene.
I attend college full-time. I’m currently carless, so I gotta get rides to/from school from a county-provided service that allows a disabled person who’s registered with them to make an appointment for a ride up to a week in advance - costs $3.50 one way, $7.00 round trip.
I go out with friends, either into Manhattan (I take the Long Island Railroad in, then I either take a cab or go ‘on foot’, depending upon the weather & who I’m with.) or just around my friends’ neighborhood or mine. I’ve been getting the train into Manhattan (either alone or with friends) since I was 17.
A typical day for me is: Get up, get dressed, get the bus, spend at least four hours at school & at least an hour total in transit, come home & eat dinner/do schoolwork/screw around on the net/talk on the phone, shower, watch TV, go to sleep.
And Shade, no worries. Here’s your answers, following the order of the questions asked:
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I do catheterize and I do get on the toilet to do so - the (female) cathether I use isn’t long enough to empty from a position in the wheelchair. I dunno how men & boys handle it.
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As long as someone poses the question in a neutral manner (i.e. “So, I was wondering why it is that you have to use the wheelchair…”, as opposed to, “So, what’s wrong with you?”), I’m cool with explaining the situation. I don’t even get too irritated with people who ask questions rudely because I figure that (A) They probably aren’t aiming to be rude & (B) If they’re asking out of a desire for knowledge, they deserve an answer - indeed, they may go on to educate someone else.
Hope I’ve answered your questions.
My nephew has Cerebral Palsy, and was in a wheelchair for a while (now he just uses braces/crutches, mostly). I was once suckered into playing a basketball game at the Minneapolis Shriners Hospital. What a mistake!
First, it was embarressing enough to be one of the last ones chosen in high school. It’s even worse when some smart alec pre-teen in a chair is chosen before you!
Second, those wheelchairs really are very maeneuverable, and can turn on a dime. Plus they use them like weapons! The footrests on those chairs can really take you out, and those kids know that – and use it!
Finally, they are kids! Even when in a chair, they have a lot more energy & stamina than someone my age. And by the end of the game, you will really know that! They’ll be running circles around you.
P.S. My nephew went on to play on the varsity wheelchair basketball team in college, and his team was in the National Final Four!
Great thread, Cosmopolitan. Very informative and quite humbling.
I’ve noticed there’s a great many taxi cabs in my city that have very high roofs and a clear space in the back. Some of them are vans, some are converted station wagons; both obviously are for transporting wheelchair-bound customers.
Is this type of taxi common where you live? Chatting to one of the drivers, he mentioned he has a quite a few wheelchair-bound “regulars”.
I believe you mentioned teaching earlier in the thread. What age group do you want to teach? I imagine it would be a very positive experience for young kids to experience a disabled person as a teacher.
What is your voice like? I’ve noticed many wheelchair-bound people have quite quiet voices. Is it difficult to make yourself heard, particularly to people standing around you.
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Last, an ancedote. At my law school graduation ceremony in early April, our valedictorian was a man my age. He graduated with first class Honours in Law and won the frikkin’ Rhodes Scholarship at the end of last year. He also happens to be in a wheelchair.
His address to us graduands absolutely brought the house. It was incredible.
I used to do some work with Gallaudet’s school newspaper and there’s a huge Deaf Culture out there I wasn’t aware of (Deaf authors writing specifically for a deaf audience, etc). Is there a “wheelchair” equivalent? Who are some of the leading figures in it?
Cosmo, If you mind me asking (and re-resurrecting the thread!). How do you do your umm… #2’s? Do you use bysocotal suppositories (like me). or do you go spontaneously (like “normal” people, and me when I don’t have “bullets” around? How does it go in public (I do mine at home)
Another bathroom question … sorry …
I’ve been scorned in the past for using the accessible stall in the ladies’ room. I figure, why not? If a person in a wheelchair comes in, she can wait until I’m done, if necessary. I’ve been told that’s rude. My own opinion is that if I was in a wheelchair and there were people lining up for the non-accessible stall while the accessible one sat empty, I’d feel pretty patronized.
And another sex question.
At one job I had, I became friendly with a man who I did a lot of business with over the phone and never met face-to-face. I thought it was just one of those friendly things but it turned out that he fancied me a bit. We exchanged a few e-mails wherein he revealed that he’d been in a motorcycle accident and was now confined to a wheelchair.
This put me in a somewhat awkward position: I didn’t want to go out with him, partly because he was twenty years older than me and partly because he lived on the other side of the country. But once he told me about the chair, I couldn’t help but feel like he would think I just didn’t want to date a cripple. And I know that he probably wouldn’t feel that - parapalegics feel rejection and everything just the same way everyone else does. But then I thought that if I was in his situation I may feel like it was the chair’s fault, just because it’s always easier to find an excuse for rejection (along the lines of “it’s not that he’s repulsed by my body odour and unappealing personality, it’s probably just that he hates all Canadians”). Any comments?
cowgirl-I’m in a chair too, so I feel qualified to answer. It IS rude to use a accessible stall IF others are avaliable!
Intellectually, I bet the guy would be OK with your reasons for not pursuing a relationship w/him (as would I). HOWEVER, he WILL feel on a subconscious level the “she won’t date a cripple” response. BTW, we DON’T feel rejection “just like everyone else” for this VERY reason, you even conceeded as much in your post.
Cosmo, do you think it’s cool that you can’t easily fall over when you’re drunk?
[sub] [Scampers away giggling.] [/sub]
erictelevision: I can defecate fairly regularly if I take a laxative on a regular basis.
Originally posted by cowgirl:
OK, let’s look at two scenarios.
Scenario One: You’re on a fantastically long line. When you’re up to bat, you find that the only stall that’s unoccupied is the wheelchair-accessible stall. May you take it without looking rude? IMO, yes.
Scenario Two: You walk into a bathroom & choose the wheelchair-accessible stall despite the fact that at least one other “normal” stall is available. Is this a jerky thing to do? Oh yeah.
Why? Because generally, those who use wheelchairs cannot use regular stalls, whereas able-bodied people generally can. IOW, one should not use a handicapped-accessible stall just because it’s roomier; a wheelchair-user may come in & need to use the lavatory - the fact that a wheelchair-user may NEED that stall supercedes your comfort. It’s not about patronizing wheelchair-users; it’s about respecting the fact that they sometimes need accomodations.
And I second what erictelevision said about dating & rejection. It’s oftentimes at the back of your mind, but you try to think logically & not paranoiacally.
And yes, Gorgon, it IS cool.
This is a really neat thread.
I’m disabled as well, though I’m not on wheels; I’m seriously considering getting a scooter for long distances, but I haven’t talked to a doc about getting one of those babies prescribed yet, and I don’t have the funds to just buy one.
I am so with you on the terminology, and your other friends in their 20s (as I am.) Disabled is fine. Handicapped is fine. Cutesy terms make me want to smack the person using them.
I do have a question: Have you ever considered getting a service dog? I’ve known several guide dogs, and have met a service dog belonging to a woman using a chair. I have deep respect for those dogs! And I’d want one myself, if I was permanently off my feet.
On staring:
when I was younger, a common complaint among Wheelchairers was that people would ignore them, not look at them, scurry their eyes away very fast. I suspect a lot of people look at you longer than they look at Freestanders with this accusation in the back of their minds.
On the bigger stalls:
Can you forgive parents with children between diapers and full hygienic capabilities? Please?
New question:
As I work on my house, what are the more important elements of Universal Design that I should use to make my house more accessible?
Oh, thanks for the pointer about the chairs being personal space.
I have read that some people have started using miniature ponies instead of guide dogs. If they offered a mini pony for wheelchair users, would you use one?
j66: Yeah, I can forgive people with little kids who use wheelchair-accessible stalls. As for your house; I would make the doors wider than “normal”: I’m sure you can get the guideline from some site that talks about ADA regulations as they pertain to construction & building codes. Lower countertops might be good, though I dunno if that’s universally true - i just know they’re good for me, personally.
On the subject of service animals: I’ve not considered getting one because I feel comfortable not having one - in my case a service dog would be more of a pain in the ass than a help; same goes for ponies.
Thanks for the responses ! appreciate it.
Hope you’ll indulge me in another ignoramous question: what do service animals do for you?
I’ve seen some neato TV programs about this. A service dog can do all sorts of things like turn off the light or pick up things you’ve dropped. And they’ve found that having a service dog can be helpful socially for kids with disabilities. (Other kids are more comfortable approaching the disabled kid via petting or asking about the dog.) One TV show chronicled a program where suitable dogs were taken from shelters, trained by prisoners in a minimum-security women’s prison, and given to people who needed a service, but not Seeing Eye, dog. I wonder if that’s still going on. Seemed like a win-win-win situation to me.
Cosmo,
What do you think of the chair that Dean Kamen invented (the iBot - http://www.independencenow.com/ibot/index.html)?
I saw it on television a little while ago and was fascinated by it. I know they will be expensive, at least to start with, but it seems like it could be revolutionary for those who can use them.
Cosmo,
What do you think of the chair that Dean Kamen invented (the iBot - http://www.independencenow.com/ibot/index.html)?
I saw it on television a little while ago and was fascinated by it. I know they will be expensive, at least to start with, but it seems like it could be revolutionary for those who can use them.
I want that chair! Being able to reach high places & traverse steps would make life so. much. simpler.
But like you said, I’m sure it’s prohibitively expensive.