To my fellow Idahoans
In this time of great trial, when everything looks bleak, and our world has become all Larry all day every day. When no comfort can be found on our tv’s, and even Larry King has turned his hairy old back on us. I would like to offer a few words of solace. I know that you are troubled, asking yourself how can this happen to a good old boy from Idaho. I’ve been to our stores and restaurants and I’ve heard the talk of Satan, Hillary and Democrats being to blame. I know that you’re God fearing people who live moral and Republican lives, and as one of the few Democrats in this state I want to offer you hope. Therefore I offer this prayer of comfort for you.
In this our time of great need please bless the people of Idaho and help them to know that no matter what they learned on their daddy’s knee they will not spontaneously combust if their hand accidentally brushes the Democratic side of the ballot. That while Jesus refers to himself as a shepherd he does not expect them to be mindless sheep. That while wisdom can be found from within, it cannot be found within that part of their anatomy and they should pull their heads out. And that while Tinfoil hats can be very becoming, reflected it the summer sun they can cause some nasty auto accidents, and it is best to wear them at home where others cannot be blinded by them. And lastly help them to understand that the whole Democratic Party has not joined in a mass effort to screw up the career of some farmer from Idaho Falls, Idaho.
I’d just like to say, as someone who’s spent time with her Republican father in Republic, Washington (State), I really appreciate your second paragraph, and may drop down on my knees later to send it out to the Occupant of the universe.
Amen. I’m in Blaine County (as of earlier this month) and if we can do it, so can the rest of Idaho. Though many of them would like to disown us anyway. Sorta like the way the rest of Louisiana views New Orleans as a bit of another planet tacked onto the end of their state.
I will throw a big old “WORD” in to the mix. I am a Poli-Sci student at the school with the “Smurf Turf” and it is non-stop talk about this. I try to keep a middle of the road view on it but some people are bat shit insane about it.
Amen. As a citizen of Eastern WAh, or if you prefer, Idaho West, I agree whole-heartedly. Thank Og I work at an environmental agency with the rest of the token Dems/liberals in this area…at least I get to talk to someone who agrees with me on occasion. My step-dad used to work for the environmental agency as well, that’s how his liberal ass ended up in Yakima. Now he works for a consulting firm and he is the only person who is not a Christian conservative Republican there, and it just kills him to have to listen to them all day long. As an added bonus, he’s the only Husky in a land of Cougars. Feel his pain!
While I am not an Idahoan/Idahoian/Whatever you call yourselves in Potaterville,
I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed your post and feel it does not belong in the Pit, but(t) in the Hall of Fame for its witty insightfulness, references to tin foil hats and the bit about Hillary, Satan and the Democrats all being in the same sentance.
I wish one of our senators here in the great Mitten State would get busted for stall cruising or other Flamingly *Fabulous * Activity so as to change the topic on the local radio/TV that is ALL CRAPPY ECONOMY ALL THE TIME and oh yes, in case you missed it and are not depressed enough, THE LIONS LOST ANOTHER PRESEASON GAME Back to you, Bob…
Also, because, I am pretty sure there are no homo’s in Michigan and it would be nice to see something different here other than the status quo. Not that I am or ever was a homo, nor do I aspire to raise my standards that high, but I did, for the record, once vote Republican, but did not inhale. I was young. I was experimenting.
My wish for the inhabitants for the state of Idaho no, you’da ho is to turn off the TV or Radio and go back to your missionary position sex lives and know that despite the audio tape and witness, this Fine Upstanding Moral Republican will not only **Find God ** Bigger, BETTER More AWESOMER than YOUR GOD and he will be forgiven by his Stepford Trophy wife in some public fashion who also renounces that her Very Republican husband has never once asked her to take it in the pooper and Larry will state for months how he has NEVER BEEN GAY and **NEVER HAD A GAY THOUGHT AND HAS NEVER EVEN TOUCHED HIS PEENER IN HIS LIFE!!!11111!!! **
Larry will have some righteous indignation, bring up Left Wing Conspiracy and it will be fun but not nearly as much fun as seeing all his former lovers scurry out of the woodwork to cash in on the Big Fat Tell All Money.
While I am sorry for your telecommunication headaches, you can at least feel safe that the Germans or Japanese are not building a better, spudier potato than what your area produces.
Given that he married his wife only after it was pointed out to him that to be a successful politician in Mormonville He must have a family. Also that the children he speaks of are all step children. These things coupled with the expression his wife usually wears leads me to believe that he’s never ask her to take it at all.
Born in Coeur d’Alene, raised all over the US. Went to school to become cultural anthropologist, so almost everything makes sense in its cultural context. Seem to have become a yellow-dog Democrat (or anti-Bush-ist, your choice).
BUT I can still can sing “Here we have Idaho”, love potatoes in all their myriad forms, and when asked “where are you from?” claim Idaho.
(We’re sufficiently rare that we have to stand together!)