My family is trying to get together at Xmas time in NYC. My baby sister has a 4-year old, extremely active and excitable little guy. She’s in a quandary about what’s the best thing to choose for him. My oldest sister is going to spring for baby sis’ tickets.
The flights from here to NYC are two: One is 1 hr 19 mins, Jackson to Atlanta. That connects with one which is 2 hrs, 19 mins from Atlanta to NYC. The cost is about $250 per person (round trip). Flights can be chosen from early morning up until about 4 pm.
The Amtrak from here runs about 26 hours. One can get one of those sleeping ‘roomettes’. The cost is about $500 per person (round trip). This leaves at 11 am one day and arrives NYC at 2:30 pm the next day.
A third alternative is for the child to stay with his other grandmother for 4 or 5 days while sis and her hubby take the NYC trip.
Sis is terrified that the child will act crazy on the airplane and get them kicked off of the flight (he can be quite the screamer). OTOH, chasing him up and down the aisles of the train for hours on end isn’t too appealing either.
Some of us will be flying, some will take the train - so the child could travel with those going by train regardless of whether Sis takes the train or not.
Although family would miss seeing him at the gathering, I can also see that trying to keep up with Red Chief all around NYC while sightseeing would take a lot of fun out of it. I’m not sure how much a 4-year old would remember of the trip anyway.
Which would you choose? I can elaborate more on his personality if it helps. I have a feeling which one she’s leaning towards, but I’d like to get a few outside opinions. Thanks!
It should be easier to control a child for around 4 hours on a plane than for around 26 hours on a train. Put the child in the window seat so they cannot get out easily to run up and down the aisle, and bring a bag full of books and toys to keep the child amused.
We live in the suburbs of NYC. I’ve taken my daughter with me to the city since she was a tiny babe. She’s five now. She’s always adored the trip. She likes to look in the store windows and watch how fast people move. She also loves getting attention from people as they stop to admire her and her head of blond curls.
I would take the child if I could. NYC is a very cool experience for kids.
Get one of those portable DVD players and a few simple games. The boy should be old enough by now to watch a movie or two. Which is how we got to Orlando with our 3 year old.
I’d probably opt for the flying, on the grounds that the day of flying is shorter than the train trip, even if the kid melts down.
Second choice might be the train.
Third choice is leave the kid behind. Although, really, there are worse things in life than leaving a kid with his grandmother for a few days and enjoying being with family in a big city without a small child. So she needn’t feel guilty if she lives the kid behind.
Will there be other children? What ages? What arrangements are/will be made for them? (You don’t have to answer any of these in the thread. But, the presence or absence of other children might make a big difference in what kinds of things the adults would do in NYC, and thus make leaving the kid behind a better option.)
If my brother & his wife can make it, their daughter is about 2; they also have a son who is about 6 I think. Middle sis has a daughter who is about 7. My kids are grown (23, 21, 20 and 18). All together there will be sixteen folks over the age of 18 and 4 under. So, not many kids his age; and the 3 other young ones who will be there are much more adult-oriented than he is.
My son also suggested the GameBoy/DVD angle. I will consult with sis and see if his attention can be held by that for a couple of hours. My experience is limited to observation at her house - the TV is left on and he kind of wanders in and out playing with his toys.
I travel frequently for my work, and I can assure you that plenty of people bring exuberant children on airplanes.
Seriously, though, your sister and nephew will be fine on a plane. I’ve never seen a kid not accept the seat belt and settle down sooner or later. The vibration of the plane is often even soporific. If there’s some crying or screeching, no big deal; they won’t get thrown off the plane. They may get some dirty looks from some of the more sour passengers aboard, but most people understand that that’s just part of travel. An airplane is a public place, and your sister’s family has as much right as anyone to be there.
One suggestion would be to prepare the boy beforehand for the airport/airplane experience. Let him carry a little backpack with a toy in it, but explain that the security people will need to take it and look at it, and then they’ll give it back. Let him know to expect the seat belt, and the engine noise, for instance.
26 hours on a train seems like a nightmare. It’s most of the disadvantages of a plane, spread over a longer time. Such trains are rarely on time, too, because they often have to share tracks with freight trains.
We’ve gone from Honolulu to the mainland with my 3-year-old several times, including New York.
Have the child sit in the car seat from your car. It allows you to buckle them more securely and gives them a familiar environment. A downside is it can be a pain to get on and off the airplane and around the airport.
The child will sleep most of the time. Then again, most flights from Hawaii are red-eyes.
Bring munchies. Those fruit gel candies are good, because the chewing helps with ear popping.
Most important part: Get NEW toy and book(s). Brand new, never been seen before. The discovery phase will be quite a distraction for the little one.
We’re heading to Boston in a few weeks. The first leg will go directly from Honolulu to Newark; no stopovers. We’ve done pretty good on other flights, but this one could get grueling. For her, too.
A four year old should be able to handle a couple of short plane trips. I think my son already had a frequent flyer number by that age. although I love train travel (and so does my son) if this kid is squirrelly, I’d be reluctant to sign up for along trip on rails.
A couple of flying tips for your sis–let the kid get energy out before he gets on the plane. Bring interesting “new” things to do for the trip. Explain ahead of time about rules like having to wear the seatbelt, leaving the tray up, and NOT kicking the seat ahead. We told our son that the pilot would be upset if he didn’t obey. That seemed to carry some weight.
The two short flights probably won’t be as bad as you fear. We just took our two year old on a 15-hour trip (door to door) from FL to MT and we all survived. Granted, he’s relatively mellow, but still.
I would talk to him before hand about what to expect–turn off the TV, no toys and make sure he’s paying attention. If he has a short attention span, it may be best to repeat it several times. His ears will probably hurt for awhile, he should know that in advance. He should also be told that he shouldn’t cry or yell if his ears do hurt. A simple, “Mommy my ears hurt.” is good. At that point, I’d give him some chewy candy or a lolli-pop. That will help his ears and give him a distraction.
My mother used a technique that was pretty successful. I refer to it as “the pre-emptive strike”. In a situation like she would present it like this:
“I’m going to visit family. I can leave you at Grandma’s or take you with me. If you want to go I have to decide if you’re old enough because they don’t tolerate bad behavior on planes. It’s a grown-up situation. You have to whisper or speak very quietly”. You’re expected to sit quietly for 2 hrs (Barney times 2). There will be a lot of walking and you have to go through security".
By saying the above, and repeating the instructions many times she would emphasize that:
She doesn’t have to take him (it’s a privilege)
Its a “grown up” thing
What is expected
I find many situations can be improved if parents drill into their kids what is expected ahead of time. It sets a tone and gives weight to correcting problems as they start up. Continued reinforcement of what is expected such as just prior to security screening is always helpful.
With that said, if the child is not ready, the child is not ready. That’s a judgement call.
I agree. Some four-year-olds might understand expectations but it doesn’t sound like this one does. If she does decide to take him, plane would be better.
